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Thoughts on Intentional Living
Brady Mikusko, Life Coach 

Read these questions, answer honestly, and note your internal reactions. If any of them hit the mark, now may be the right time to engage a Coach.

Do you feel dissatisfied with your life?


Do you ever ask yourself, "Is this all there is?"


Are you filled with wants that are not being expressed or needs that are not being met?


Are you overwhelmed much of the time?


Do you live your day according to your "To Do" list?


Do you feel stuck in certain areas of your life?


Are you at a possible crossroads in your life? Are you hesitant or afraid?


Are you doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results?

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Issue: #10
October  2013
 Desires and Dreams

The focus of today's Intentional Living newsletter is on your interests, wants, desires and dreams.

There is probably no quick fix for achieving your dreams, but
there are some practices which will help you get closer than you may be today. This newsletter describes what I would call a Core Practice to a happier life. 


Answer this simple question   


Take one minute, and on a piece of paper (please use a

good-sized piece of paper-no scraps found at the bottom of

your purse, or stuffed in a pocket, please!) and then 

answer this question:


What do I really want?


If you can't stop writing after one minute, then go ahead --

be wild and outrageous --and take TWO MINUTES focusing

on what you really want.            


How was that?  


What was that experience like for you?


Was it: 













If you were like many of my clients you might have had a difficult time taking the entire sixty seconds and creating a  wonderful list of your current desires and dreams. You may even have been baffled by this question and who knows, a few of you may even have been SUSPICIOUS enough to retort: "what do you mean, what do i want?"...(I confess that I have a snarky side and I would have retorted like that a few  years ago.)


Such a simple question.  



Ask almost any child what they want and dream about and, with their faces lit up, they will engage with enthusiasm and create a fascinating  list in seconds.         



Why would such an exercise be so difficult for people like you and me, i.e., ADULTS?  


A Simple Explanation  


After working as a life coach for 8 years now, I believe that most adults have long ago given up wanting, desiring, and dreaming. We were all told so early in our lives that we must (1) grow up, (2)  be realistic, (3) decide on what we want in life (as if the list must be short and doable),  (4) delay gratification,  and (5)  work hard.    


It is very interesting to me that even as we are all  urged to go to the gym to work out and build our muscles to be healthy and strong, few of us are urged to build (i.e., restore)  our "wanting/dreaming/desiring muscles". We all had those muscles  when we were children, but by early adolescence,  most of us  began to lose our muscle tone, so to speak.  And  by 30 - all flab!  ........ Where are these muscles located?   


In the Mind.


I have spoken many times about the power of our thinking.  Last newsletter

I even spoke about the power of just one word.


Can you imagine how powerful an ever- evolving/updated  list of interests, dreams and desires might be?


But Wait. Can you also guess what most of our adult minds are actually focused on throughout our day? If you get this right, you go to the head of the class.


Answer: (1)  Problems and (2) what we don't want, what we don't have, what is lacking  --the opposite of dreams and desires.





This is the path to good living and happiness, right? 


I don't think so.  


Desire/Positive Energy Exercise 


If you wish to build those muscles in your mind and change your life, find 2-4 pieces of paper (no scraps!) and take the

time to write down the following:  


Things you are:


Interested In

Fascinated By

Excited About

Enthusiastic About




Find Beautiful

Find Brilliant

Find Inspiring  


And then add:


Any Dreams and Desires not include above!


Note: This list may include places, people, locations, artists, colors, agriculture, cultures, teachers, situations, heroes, memories, ideas, spirituality, physics, nature,  politics, fashion, music, paradigms, artistic endeavors, books, wealth, food, relationships, etc. etc. etc.  


If your critical voice (we all have one) says: "I don't have time! This is foolish!"  Ignore that voice.


As you begin to engage in this exercise, notice how you feel.  For many, it is kind of -- dare I say -- fun!  I have had clients smile from ear to ear.  (Feeling good by the way IS good. Most of us fail to listen to that feeling, which is our natural guidance system. But more on this in a future newsletter.)  


Once you have finished a first go-around, take a moment to acknowledge that the list is Unique to You. No one else in the whole world will have the same list. I think that is cool. Don't you?   


The next step is to intentionally begin to focus on the items on this list.  Place copies of the list in all the obvious places: refrigerator, billfold/purse, workplace, computer file, smart phone, bathroom mirror, bedside table.  Consciously and intentionally read about your interests and desires and fascinations,  and do so often.  Enjoy them. Think about them. Add to the list as you discover new interests or you remember an old interest long forgotten.  




What we focus on, expands. And if the focus is on what inspires, interests, excites you, and on what you love, admire and find brilliant, then your life will change. Some stuff won't disappear (like your job, the weather, politics, weeds), but life will inevitably become more fun and more interesting.   


As for happiness?  


Stuart Wilde, a well-known writer and coach, was asked this question by a member in one of his workshops:   how can I be a  happier person? He replied with this question: "What do you love doing?" She told him several things she loved to do, and he said: "Do more of that."        


Now that you have your list, go ahead. Explore your interests. Do what you love.

"All the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it."
Samuel Butler



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If you found the ideas in this newsletter useful or interesting, please pass it on to others who are not on this list.



Brady Mikusko, LMSW, NCC,  Personal Life and Wellness Coach


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