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I want a word that means
okay and not okay,
a word that means
devastated and stunned with joy.
I want the word that says
I feel it all, all at once.
~from “For When People Ask” by Rosemary Wahtola Troemmer
I was introduced to the work of Rosemary Wahtola Troemmer earlier this week during a gathering of the Network of Wider Church Youth Ministries in Cleveland. Those gathered were invited to spend some time in silence reflecting or journaling about what was coming up within them in their hearing of these words.
Sitting with these words in shared silence held by a community of colleagues, I felt a resonance, a congruence, deep within me. The poem gave eloquent voice to what I have been feeling for many weeks and what I have noticed within so many others during this time. I am devastated by the cruelty and chaos that surround us, unfolding each day. And I am stunned by the joy that surprises me each day in unexpected moments of connection, beauty, and wonder. I am also aware of my tendency to tamp down and close myself off from feeling too much of the joy, perhaps from a sense of guilt or self-protection against a false sense that joy in these days is frivolous and fleeting.
Through this poem, I heard a gentle and insistent invitation to “walk more openly” amid the devastation and joy, the cruelty and kindness, the fear and faithfulness that surround us in these days. While the invitation came through the poignant words of a poem, my capacity to hear it was supported and strengthened by the trustworthy space created in community.
We need each other. Striving to create communities of belonging that hold space for ourselves and others is essential for our capacity to remain grounded in these days. We need to be supported and challenged by others who call us to rest when we are working beyond our exhaustion, who help us see possibility when we are completely overwhelmed, and who hold space for us to reconnect to our deep center when we feel lost.
May we help create within our Conference, within our local congregations across Minnesota, communities that hold space for one another to find the courage to “walk more openly” into the devastation and joy of these days. And may the final lines of Rosemary Wahtola Troemmer’s poem be a blessing for the journey.
The heart understands the swirl,
how the churning of opposite feelings
weaves through us like an insistent breeze,
leads us wordlessly deeper into ourselves,
blesses us with paradox
so we might walk more openly
into this world so rife with devastation,
this world so ripe with joy.
Grace and peace,
Kevin
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