I am working on a series of conflict resolution programs for a large organization. I have seen my share of conflict over two decades in the corporate sector and a single thread runs through every confrontation I've witnessed. You might think it is power but the need for power is simply frustration that results from unmet expectations. The thing that makes people butt heads, withdraw, dive for cover and tantrum like children is pre-conceived judgments. These notions we adopt over our lifetime switch off good reason and in conflict switch on fight-or-flight autopilot. The trouble with judgment autopilot is:
Judgments lead to misunderstandings.
Misunderstandings lead to resentment.
Resentment leads to failed collaboration and underperformance.
How effective is it to say to a tantruming child, "Now you know candy isn't good for you." while they're stomping around like a drill sergeant?
The reasoning part of the brain shuts down when fear inserts itself in a situation. The best remedy it to head off judgments by noticing your fears before they take over. Listen. Listen to yourself first. Don't judge yourself. "There I go sensing that this makes me feel threatened again and it's ok. I am capable" is a lot different than "I can't believe she is getting over on me again. I hate that this always happens to me."
Don't dive for cover. Pause. Breathe. Expand. And don't be small. You are capable.
Read Mary Lee's tips on The Fear You Are Running From is Running Your Life
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Back by Popular Demand: Spring Success Academy
An Empowering Full Day Workshop for Women
with Beth Caldwell and Mary Lee Gannon
Saturday, March 14, 2015
9am to 4pm at Sigma's Conference and Event Center
1717 Babcock Boulevard, Pittsburgh, PA 15208
When you attend this full day intensive workshop you'll learn how to:
* Integrate Systems Into Your Business
* Trade Your Head Trash for Clarity
* Stop Sabotaging Your Success with a Mindful Switch
* Experience A Powerful Confidence Breakthrough
* Enjoy a Client EXPLOSION
* Strategize for a Brilliantly Successful Business
Testimonials from former attendees:
"Practical tools that you can immediately implement. Inspirational and profound!"
--Deborah Turek, CFP�Assistant Vice President, Financial Advisor, BPU Investments
"These two women give other the courage and inspiration to succeed." --Donna Summers Moul, MSEd, PC, EspeciallyForWomen.com.
"The systems class brought everything together for me." --Lea Ann Rattigan, Owner, Your Personal Image, Inc.
Click here to register now: http://springsuccessacademy.eventbrite.com
Seating is limited to 30 women. $159.
Your registration includes: Full day intensive workshop,
All workshop materials, Breakfast, Lunch, Snack
Mindful Leadership Impact Programs for
New Managers, Teams and Executives
Because great employees don't become great leaders all on their own