News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™      


Joy, Love, and Peace for 2018

Attitiude Reconstruction  


          The Happiness Train                                                  June 2018  


Jude Bijou 
Jude Bijou MA MFT is a respected psychotherapist, professional educator, and workshop leader. Her multi award- winning book is a practical and spiritual handbook to help you create the life you desire.  

Kind words about this newsletter... 
     Oh Jude this is so wonderful and helpful. I am printing it for myself as  a reminder and want to share with others. Your contribution to LIFE is so refreshing! Thanks dear one.
    Your newsletter and suggestions regarding listening as an important part of communication is a good reminder and your advice on a person telling you your shortcomings and how to handle that is very on point. I find your newsletter and advice very helpful and look forward to reading it when it arrives.  
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photo by Shaun Heffernan 
Consider purchasing
Keys to a Good Life, a book that includes a collection of articles, including one by yours truly on how to deal with anxiety!

It is now available for purchase through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc. and is the perfect way to find wisdom to unlock your power within.

photo by Shaun Heffernan

"I can't wait to grow up and be happy."


"Hey man, lighten up."








"...Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, which may involve an occasional hot dog eating contest."





Greetings dear ones
My brother is my inspiration! He calmly called me last Sunday evening to tell me that he was barefoot, standing outside his apartment while the first-responders were putting out the fire that was engulfing his building. He was already semi-grateful because now he didn't have to deal with all the papers and assorted things he had dragged into his place over the last 25 years!  
Fortunately Bob had renter's insurance and his computer was saved. He figured that about everything else was replaceable. He acknowledged that he knew that he might have to deal with some feelings about the loss if and when they surfaced. No freaking out. He's just rolling with the tide and interested in what was next. Hats off to him. 

A Few Articles of Interest 
News flash. CBS News just reported the Mexico experienced seismic activity during the World Cup win earlier Sunday because so many fans were jumping up and down.
We're all human. Here are some of the last words celebrities spoke before heading off to the great beyond. Let me know what you'd like to your final message to be.
This is a compilation of the best advice from a variety of commencement addresses for 2018.  
And since I'm featuring the final moments, here is one person's description of what the final moments in prison feel like.
Ever wonder about how you make delicious bacon? This article provides the answer.

Videos Guaranteed to Bring a Smile!   
Annually, over Memorial Day weekend in Santa Barbara, there is the I Madonnari chalk drawing festival at the SB Mission. Take a look at the stunning 2018 display, filmed by David Sommers. 
Check out Obama's coolest moments. As well, take a look at this outstanding video that catches the chemistry between Barack and Michelle and their family. That's hard to fake!
Then, there is Ellen. These are clips of "when things go wrong" on live television.   
Finally, have you ever wondered about how Etch-a-sketch works? The secret is finally here. 
All cartoons "borrowed" from the Cartoonbank.  
What is Happiness?

Happiness is the current buzzword. It's in book names, article titles, Coke ads, McDonald's Happy Meals, drugs, and you name it.  

I make a distinction in wording. I think happiness is a general word that encompasses the pure physical body sensations of the emotions of joy, love, and peace. According to Attitude Reconstruction there are some simple things we can do to reliably produce these emotions and experience more happiness -- that is to feel more joy, love, and peace.

My list of suggestions fall in to two categories: things you can do with yourself -- inner world and things that relate to your outer world.

Please let me know if you have other reliable strategies to generate happiness. I'd be glad to add them to my list!
Inner Activities to Create Happiness

1. Do things to keep in touch with who you truly are. What can you do? Write down two things you appreciate about yourself every day for a week and at the end of the week read your list out loud. Stop beating yourself up. Identify the demeaning chatter you repeatedly tell yourself, and interrupt it whenever you hear yourself thinking it. Substitute a contradiction that affirms who you are, such as "I'm whole and complete" or "I'm doing the best I can."

2. Do listen within for answers and speak and act accordingly. Instead of looking to others for guidance, pause for a minute and look for what the answer is. This is an answer devoid of those "shoulds" and "what will they thinks." If you pair your behavior with your inner knowing, you can be confident you're honoring what's best.

3. Give up your expectations. Not accepting the reality of what is, will fuel your anger. Accept that people and situations are the way they are, not the way you think they should be. From this stance, you can take dynamic, loving action.

4.  Just say "NO" to negative thinking. Praise! Appreciate! Be joyful. Look for what's good in life and others before you leap into a rant about what's bad. Be grateful! Studies show that gratitude measurably increases your psychological and physical well-being.

5. Turn emotions into motions. If you feel angry, go to a safe place and move the energy out of you by hitting, stomping, or yelling. If you feel sad or victimized, allow yourself to cry until you feel relieved. When you are anxious, worried, or panicked, act it out by making yourself shiver, quiver, tremble, or shudder. Express all your emotions physically and constructively.
6. Pursue your dreams. Do something you love or try a new activity. If singing, dancing, playing music, painting, surfing, or yoga bring you joy, do that. Or learn a new skill. Join an exercise class, learn to cook, pick up a musical instrument and take some lessons. Mastering some new endeavor feels really good.

7. Get moving. We humans were built for motion--not just from the bed to the couch to the computer, but real action. Walking, exercising, and getting involved in team sports are all good for our muscles, organs, bones, and minds. Recent studies show that too much sitting can shorten your life as much as smoking. So get moving!

8. Remember to rest. When you let your body and brain come to a complete stop, this integrates your experiences and gets you back into balance again. Maybe what works for you is to take a walk, meditate, or take a short nap. Taking a time out for your brain is a counter-balance to all your activity. It will help you maintain clarity and allow you to enjoy the moment.

9. Eat well. Our bodies need regular fuel to continue to run optimally. That means limit the quantity and go for quality.

9. Laugh. Life is funny. It is full of wonderful surprises, and yet we often see these as disruptions and inconveniences. We can laugh about them, cry about them, or ignore them. Research shows that laughing not only releases stress, it lifts our spirits, and connects us with other people.

10. Do spend time in nature. Take in the harmony and beauty that abounds. This will connect you to your place in the world and inspire you as you see the perfection in the whole picture. Relish the relative silence.

Outer Activities to Increase Happiness

1. Don't argue--communicate. Use the Four Rules of Good Communication: 1. Use "I" statements, to express your feelings without blaming others for them. 2. Be specific, avoiding "always" or "never." 3. Focus on kindness, not anger. 4. You are only half the conversation, so truly listen at least 50% of the time.

2. Do things for others. Give without wanting or expecting anything in return. Offer to assist a workmate who has too much to do. Cook a meal for a friend or acquaintance who just had surgery. Help a friend carry a heavy load. Give strangers or loved ones an appreciation.

3. Do reach out to a friend. Think of a fun activity and make a date to do something you both enjoy. Go to a museum. Go on a hike. Fix a meal. Plan and take a road trip together.

4. Do things for the planet and universe. Volunteer to help out a non-profit organization whose mission resonates with you. Or spend some time writing or voicing all the things you are grateful for. Go to an area recovering from a natural disaster and help out.

5. Do things for your environment. Connect to where you live. Participate in a beach or community clean up. Recycle your old electronics. Get rid of unused things in your closet and give them to an organization that serves those in need.

6. Do express your love or appreciation to a loved one. Whether it's a parent, child, relative, or friend. Write a card, call on the phone, or send a text conveying to someone what you appreciate about them. Write a poem. Give a small token or some flowers.

Hey Jude!

I tend to be really hard on myself, especially when I cry. Do you have any suggestions?


You're lucky that you can cry easily because tears are a great purifier that wash you clean. Keep them coming. But if you don't feel better after crying, it's usually because you are telling yourself what a bad person you are or how hopeless everything is. This doesn't help and is a sure way to cause you to avoid crying. Instead of trashing yourself while the tears flow, keep reminding yourself that tears are natural and that it's okay to cry. While crying, mourn your specific hurt or loss or say something nice and compassionate about yourself. Your crying might intensify at first, but sooner or later you'll get that you did the best you could at the time and that you're okay no matter what. 

        I'm sending you best wishes for a rewarding summer.  
Thanks for reading this newsletter. If you have any feedback, suggestions about a newsletter theme, or general comments, I enjoy hearing from you, so feel free to write me at:
                           With love,