Did you know that every child, teen, or young adult participant or volunteer facilitator is encouraged to participate in a closing ritual when they close from their time at Dougy Center? Since we have returned to in-person groups in October 2021, we have noticed that less closing rituals are happening, and more people are just quietly closing without having a chance to say goodbye to their group. We request that all participants and facilitators let us know one group prior to their close, if at all possible, so that we can plan ahead for a Closing Ritual. 

Closing rituals are important because they offer a chance for a “good goodbye” — something that in grief we don’t always have the opportunity to engage in. Closing rituals also provide an opportunity for peers to acknowledge a person’s contribution to the group and hear how that contribution has impacted others. Participant rituals and volunteer rituals look a little different: 

The participant ritual for bereavement groups was started by our founder, Bev Chappell. Participants choose four small rocks — three polished and smooth, one rough — and place them in a small pouch. The smooth rocks symbolize how they were once rough but after tumbling around together with coarse grit, they come out smooth, symbolizing all the challenges as well as growth in grieving the death of someone in our lives. The rough rock represents grief as a life-long experience and that we may still have rough times as we remember the person who died but can recall our time in group for support during those times. Participants pass the pouch around the group for an opportunity to share memories, appreciations or learnings, well wishes, or even just silently put well wishes into the pouch.  

For Pathways groups, when a participant is closing from the group because their person has died from an advanced serious illness, we offer a smooth ceramic heart in a small bag to pass around. We chose a different object for this group as there is opportunity for Pathways participants to join a bereavement group so it seemed important to differentiate between the two group types.  

For volunteer facilitators, during post-meeting we pass around a string or cord and a basket of beads. Each facilitator is asked to choose a bead that they feel represents the facilitator who is closing. They string the bead or beads onto the cord and offer a memory, appreciation or learning, or well wishes to the person who is closing. The facilitator who is closing is then gifted that string of beads to keep with them and remember their Dougy Center experience.  

Please reach out if you have any questions about our Closing Rituals.