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In late November, we were lucky to have Laurel Braitman, author of What Looks Like Bravery, facilitate a writing workshop for our fall Facilitator In-Service. A few folks generously offered to let us share snippets of their writings in these newsletters and on our social media. Do you have something you'd like to share? Email jana@dougy.org.
SOME ADVICE TO THOSE WHO WILL LOSE THE ONES THEY’VE LOVED
By Sarah Levy, Dougy Center Facilitator and past guest on Grief Out Loud
It is normal if your body slows down.
I mean really slows down,
Like, moving-your-fingers-is-a-chore slows down.
You need sleep, my love,
let yourself rest.
Sleep will not fix all
but it will some.
Cry as much as you need.
But when you are struggling to breathe
do your best to think of something else to calm down.
It is okay.
It is okay
if you gather seconds
of things so you never have to feel the dull loss of mundane objects ever again.
It is not that these are too painful, just your cup is full right now.
Be kind to yourself, my love.
When the child on the street passes you,
stops, looks at you in terror,
then turns back to her dad and yells “I WANT MY MOMMY”
do not feel ashamed.
Just know that you are not crazy for feeling haunted,
forced to occupy an alternate ground where everything is off kilter.
There is someone right next to you;
you just can’t reach her.
If you want to know how much it will hurt,
grab your heart,
put it on a clean kitchen scale.
How much you loved is how much you’ll lose.
This is why you feel empty–
maybe you loved with all of you.
What a gift!
But let me tell you a secret:
Hearts keep growing.
Yours will continue to grow.
The hollow will still be there
but it will become surrounded
by new flesh that beats
Do not fear loving again
even if love becomes synonymous with loss.
Remember,
you are not dead.
Do your best to live while you are alive,
my love.
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