Several years ago, we had a discussion in the Mission of St. Stephen in Elkin, North Carolina. The discussion focused on the idea of forming a Christian growth group with the members becoming Associates in Mission of the Sisters of St Joseph. Sister Janis McQuade, SSJ, opened the discussion. She has served as our Pastoral Associate at St. Stephen for many years. Her impact upon the spiritual life of our parish has been immeasurable.I must be honest and admit that it was because of Sister Janis’ spiritual impact on me, that I felt willing to consider the prospect of becoming an Associate in Mission.
My initial take is that there was no place for a man in this group. As I progressed through the informational and spiritual reflection phases, my discomfort persisted, and I felt “out of place” as a man in this environment. Now, please understand, there was nothing said or presented in any of the informational or spiritual materials I received to make me feel this way. This discomfort was self-inflicted as I was just beginning to learn about the SSJ mission and how it might fit into my everyday life.
I think that our emphasis upon our Dear Neighbor became the point of no return for me and I became fully committed to becoming an Associate in Mission despite my sense of being out of place. The process was spiritually fulfilling, and I thoroughly enjoyed the SSJA gatherings and retreats at Cape May. Again, I must be honest and admit that as much as I enjoyed the environment and sense of community, I had no tangible identity as a man in the group. My problem with this issue kept me from fully engaging as much as I would have normally.
Our Elkin Christian Growth Group has been very fulfilling, and our spiritual connection grew stronger at each meeting. Our group committed to monthly gatherings, that included the hospitality of a shared meal followed by a spiritual reflection and faith sharing. Now, I am finding fulfillment in my Christian Growth Group and my sense of community is growing stronger with each gathering. However, I remained in a search mode as I persisted in my feelings that I just was not meant to be an Associate in Mission as a man in a woman’s world. Had it not been for my experience and relationship with Sister Janis McQuade, I fear that I may have discontinued my journey as an Associate in Mission.
In my search for my own SSJ Associate in Mission identity, I became drawn to St. Joseph. I felt that in him, I may be able to find my place in the SSJ Community. I purchased a book entitled “Through the Heart of St Joseph” written by Fr Boniface Hicks, OSB with a forward written by Scott Hahn. I felt that if Scott Hahn felt compelled to write the forward, the book must have deep spiritual insights.
Well, this book exceeded my expectations! It is wonderfully written and brought me to a greater understanding of the spiritual depth of St. Joseph. Almost immediately I felt a connection with him, and I can emulate him as a spouse and father. After reading this book, my questions of belonging as an Associate in Mission for the Sisters of St Joseph have resolved completely.
