April 8, 2025
Rawland Glass, LCSW
Topic:
External Dependence
Description
“Codependence” and “Co-alcoholism” (the pre-curser of codependency) seem to have lost their value in the larger culture. Despite initially garnering attention to one of the most puzzling human dynamics, they have been sliding into disrepute and even myth status since the 1990s. It compels us to ask, “Is whatever problem they drew attention to gone or become irrelevant?”
The science of attachment and relationships seem to agree. It’s well known that humans are “hard wired for connection.” Recent conclusions argue that, on a neural level, humans seek and even prefer co-regulation over self-regulation. Dr. Weiss’s 2022 book Prodependence: Beyond the Myth of Codependency certainly makes the point that caring for others is not
pathological.
It is however, interesting that this topic simply won’t go away like some bad nightmare that evaporates in the daylight. Al-Anon and Co-Dependence Anonymous would certainly argue “the problem isn’t gone.” But what really is the problem? There have even been attempts to re-ignite the discussion including Melody Beattie’s book, “The New Codependency: Help and
Guidance for Today’s Generation” © 2009!” But maybe the issue is restricted to a small
segment of society – the arena of substance addiction where it was identified in the first place. Maybe it is relevant for “them,” but not for the rest of society.
Fascinating and valuable truths are often buried at the paradox – that certainly applies here. In this workshop we will identify the underlying problem and set the stage for a deeper level of work that goes way beyond the pathology of enabling or rescuing. We will dig underneath the paradox and discover what is sabotaging our connections and robbing us of the peace and enjoyment relationships offer.
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