In the pilot episode for
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, a group of aliens for whom time is not linear, ask the protagonist, Captain Benjamin Sisko, "Why do you choose to be here?" They are referring to Sisko's preoccupation with his wife's death and are confused by his desire to remain in such a painful time. It is only when he comes to terms with that incident from his past that he can move on.
This is not unusual. I have two friends who are obsessed with the death of their mothers years ago. I'm not talking about the normal grief we feel for our departed loved ones but an obsession that causes friends to roll their eyes and implies that they are the only ones who have ever lost someone they love.
And it's not just about grief. I once worked with two colleagues who had never gotten over a disagreement they had had in the military some twenty years before.
The things we carry through life can help us or hinder us. They have a powerful influence over how we interact with others. Incidents from our youth in many ways make us the adults we are. But it's one thing to remember and learn and quite another to obsess and let an incident from years ago cloud our judgement.
Our journey through life is a lot easier if you don't carry a lot of baggage. Learn to travel light.
Is leadership a learned behavior or an innate personality trait? While there are certainly naturally charismatic individuals who are considered "born leaders", leadership is a measurable set of behaviors that can be learned and taught. This is the conclusion arrived at by researchers Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner after years of rigorous research. Starting in 1982, Kouzes and Posner set out to understand what happened when leaders performed at their personal best. They conducted hundreds of interviews and reviewed hundreds of cases studies and survey questionnaires. What emerged were five fundamental practices common to extraordinary leadership achievements:
