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ellie krug
writer, lawyer, human
Human Inspiration Works, LLC
The Ripple
December 2018 Vol 3 No. 12
Inspired by the words and actions of Robert F. Kennedy
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Dear Friends:
The end of the year is upon us and I’m in a reflective mood—those who are very familiar with me know that I’m a sentimentalist at heart. I tend to hold things dear, which sometimes lends to heartache because of course we can never go back in time.
My practice nearly doubled to 176 trainings and speaking events in 2018. In doing that, I traveled across North America to Ottawa, Canada; Birmingham, Alabama; Des Moines; Milwaukee; Hartford; Phoenix; New York; San Francisco; and of course, much in Minnesota.
As I’ve done this work, one recurring reaction emerges: a thirsting for hope. Hope for things to be better. Hope for people to be more accepting of anyone who is “Other” from them. Hope for all of us to be kinder to each other regardless of skin color, religion, LGBTQ status or the hundred other silly things we use as reasons to divide us.
I have been told that my work, particularly Gray Area Thinking®, provides some of that hope.
An experience in San Francisco a couple months ago reinforces this. After the training, an audience member came up to me crying; she had given up on hoping that things could be different and yet, completely unexpectedly, Gray Area Thinking® had given her reason to have hope again. Speaking with the woman touched my heart and bolstered my resolve to keep pushing—pushing to get into venues where I am “Other,” and where some might not want to hear me at first because of who I am. But because the message of compassion for others and for one’s self that’s wound up in Gray Area Thinking® is so powerful, I believe the training has the potential to win over even diehard skeptics. (Although admittedly I won’t reach everyone.
As we go forward into 2019, I ask for one favor: please, help me to get to places where hope is in short supply. I promise to show up and do my best to help people think and act more compassionately!
Separately, to the many who have supported my work and me this year, THANK YOU! I am so incredibly grateful for you championing my work. It means so much to me!
To everyone, I wish you the best end-of-year holidays! Be well and enjoy! I’ll be back in 2019 when there still will be so very much to do to make the world a better place.
ellie
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Random Acts of Kindness Beyond Xmas
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This is the season where we hear of how humans can be good to each other—invariably, there will be the feel-good television news story about a stranger’s random act of holiday kindness meant to remind us that yes, we’re all in this surviving-the-Human Condition-thing together. While those stories are each quite wonderful, they tend to make us forget that people are generally good to each other every day of the year.
To keep you going beyond the holidays, here is a
fantastic collection of 14 stories
of ordinary human kindness that made a difference to others—and some of these acts are not what one would consider very exceptional. Read these and share with your networks because we learn from others’ stories; they teach that it’s okay to be kind in even small ways. (This collection was brought to my attention by
Ripple
cub reporter Michelle Cohen, who has over and over shown me kindness [which has sometimes included understanding when I don’t timely reply to her emails].)
I can’t end this section without highlighting one other act of random kindness—that of a first class passenger who gave up his seat for a mom traveling with a sick infant hooked to an oxygen machine. As you’ll see from this December 13
Simplemost article
, Kelsey Zwick was traveling with her 11-month-old daughter Lucy from Orlando to Philadelphia for medical treatment; she boarded an American Airlines flight early, only to be told that a first class passenger had offered to swap seats with her. Kelsey never got the man’s name but wrote about his kindness on Facebook, which was shared 450K times with 700K reactions.
Eventually, the man was identified as Jason Kunselman, who reported that seeing Zwick and her sick daughter board the plane touched him emotionally.
A large part of this story is about being aware of human vulnerability. Jason was aware enough to see/perceive/appreciate a mom with a sick daughter and all the stress that she had to be experiencing; he also took a risk (he might have gotten stuck in a middle seat with a grumpy row mate or missed a connecting flight [which actually almost happened according to the story above]); and he acted with wonderful compassion. Wow!
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An Extraordinary Act of Compassion and Bravery Recognized
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As you go forward this holiday season, please consider an extraordinary act of compassion and bravery that occurred nearly 80 years ago.
In 1939 just before the outbreak of WWII, Nicholas Winton was a young British stockbroker working in Czechoslovakia who took extraordinary efforts to understand the plight of Jews in his community; he then worked to ensure for the safe passage to England of 669 mostly Jewish children. Having accomplished that supreme feat of human compassion and bravery, Winton never again spoke about it—not even to his wife.
Fast forward to 1988. Winton’s wife had discovered a scrapbook that contained the names of each of the children that Winton had rescued. She and others secretly arranged to contact as many of those now-adults as possible; they were then invited to be present in the audience of a British TV show titled, That’s Life! Winton too was invited to the show but under the pretense that he was an ordinary TV show audience member.
Watch
here
for what happens when Winton’s heroism was recognized during the show. Have Kleenex tissues ready!
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Inclusivity Tip of the Month
The Power of Human Vulnerability
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Human inclusivity often involves taking risks by being vulnerable. The Identity Game that’s part of Gray Area Thinking® is very much a risk-taking/vulnerability exercise; time and again, the sharing that occurs draws people in. When we role play in that training or in Workplace Allyship 101, the role play participants are often vulnerable. (By the way, I’m always so grateful when people step up to participate in role plays—thank you for that!). And I’m incredibly vulnerable when I present “Transgender 101,” especially when the sponsor asks me to talk about how I was torn between loving my wife-soul mate Lydia and living authentically as the true me, a woman.
From a workplace inclusivity standpoint, it’s important to recognize that vulnerability can create exceptionally strong bonds between team members. Sharing about hidden challenges or about how we got to where we are today despite adversity helps everyone understand that they are not alone in working to survive the Human Condition. Admitting that you don’t have all the answers and/or that sometimes you the leader (or co-equal or frontline person) are overwhelmed can help others to check their critical eye.
Here is
one
, and then a
second
, article touting the value of workplace inclusivity.
I’m also a huge believer in the work of Brene Brown; as many have heard at my trainings, the best twenty minutes you can spend is watching her
TED Talk on vulnerability
(which has been viewed 37 million [!!] times). If you’ve not seen her TED Talk, why not do so over the holidays when you’ll likely have some down time? Trust me, you’ll be glad you did!
Of course, as this
third article
suggests, there’s a downside to vulnerability in the workplace—personal sharing can backfire if viewed by others as insincere or if seen as a way of garnering sympathy for individual gain. There’s a fine line that can be navigated via good leadership and strong character.
Finally, just labeling someone’s words, actions or approach as “vulnerable” can be powerful just by itself. “Vulnerable” is one of those special words that upon hearing it, causes many to pause and consider the situation more closely.
Go forth and risk vulnerability. See it in others. Be thankful that you are trusted with the story of another. It’s the glue that helps keep us together as humans!
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Odds & Ends
Odds & Ends this month includes wonderment via earthly sounds (Elton John’s music) and a sound from another world.
Darn Wonderful:
Here is a wonderful
two-minute holiday video
featuring Elton John (one of my favorites!) throughout his career. I promise, it will touch you.
Second Darn Wonderful:
Click
here
to listen to the sound of wind on Mars. Incredible!
Darn Interesting for Cat Lovers:
Here
is my holiday present for cat lovers. Enjoy!
Learning About Death and Compassion at an Early Age:
KJ Gross and Kaleb Klakulak became best friends in second grade; their relationship continued until when KJ, then twelve, died of leukemia. When Kaleb learned that KJ’s mother couldn’t afford a headstone for KJ’s grave, Kaleb set about to raise the money for one. So far, he’s raised $2500. For what follows, it’s important to note that KJ was black and Kaleb is white. As KJ’s mom said,
"At a time in the world when there's so much division and hatred, I hope that this brings some sort of closure of the division -- that people will be able to see (that) people of all races can get along…And we do love each other." Compassion—taught by a twelve-year-old. Click
here.
Cops Doing Good Things:
Two Roeland Park, KS police officers
imaginatively used compassion
when called to a local Walmart because a juvenile had shoplifted a pair of work boots. When they learned that the juvenile was living in a group home as a “displaced juvenile” in the juvenile court system and further heard that he stole the boots so that he could get a job, the officers decided to buy the boots for the youth rather than arrest him. The act of kindness, along with strong words of encouragement about finishing school and staying out of trouble, “left the boy with tears in his eyes.”
Speaking of Cops, Check Out:
This video
of retiring El Paso County CO Sheriff’s Office detective Tony Schreb who let loose in a building elevator on his day of retirement.
Openings at Gender Justice in St. Paul:
Gender Justice, a St. Paul-based legal representation and advocacy organization that fights for women’s rights (including transgender women) in the workplace and beyond, is looking to hire both a legal director and an advocacy director. This a first-rate organization; if you have an interest or know of someone who might want to apply for either position, please share this
link.
News about Transgender Humans:
Making history—34-year-old Patrico Manuel recently became the first transgender male to fight professionally and he did it with a unanimous decision against his opponent. While I’m not a fan of boxing, Manuel’s story is one of persistence against all odds and definitely worth noting
here.
Continuing the Tradition:
In 2016, Phoenix resident Wanda Dench mistakenly added a total stranger, Jamal Hinton (then 17 years old), to a group chap in preparation for Thanksgiving Day dinner. When Jamal responded affirmatively, Wanda upheld the mistaken invitation. Since then, Jamal has joined Wanda for every Thanksgiving. Read
here
the touching story about people from two different worlds coming together.
Backlash Against Meditation and Yoga:
This
Newsweek article
reports that there is an on-line petition seeking names (at last count it had 50K signatories) in support of banning mindfulness training/teaching in public schools because it purportedly weakens Christianity. Some religious leaders have even criticized yoga as contrary to various religious values. On the other hand, educators say that mindfulness and meditation help students get past behavior issues and depression. Hmmm.
George Bush, No. 41:
Here’s a
great story of compassio
n by No. 41—something he did under the radar for the sick child of a Secret Service professional. True compassion; true leadership.
Kate’s Picks
:
My 28-year-old daughter Kate, a writer like me, is a freelancer for
Book Riot
where she reviews books. She also has an entertainment-book review website that’s fun and smart,
Snarky Yet Satisfying.
She regularly reviews books on her blog; check it out! While she usually makes a book recommendation every month, for December she’s taking a well-deserved break. Look for her newest recommendation in the January 2019
Ripple.
“Ellie 2.0 Radio” Shows:
My show, “Ellie 2.0 Radio,” airs on Twin Cities-based AM950 on Mondays from 7 to 8 a.m. CST and can be live-streamed by clicking
here
; podcasts can be found
here
. Ellie 2.0 Radio highlights various historical and contemporary idealists and my work as a “practical idealist” trying to change the world for the better. This month (December 3) I highlighted Colin Kaepernick and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, humans who are showing us what idealism looks like in real-time. My December 17 show had me interviewing David Liners, a priest-turned nonprofit executive director of WISDOM, a Wisconsin-based organization making it possible for everyday humans to engage in social justice initiatives.
Stuff Worth Reading (assuming you think like Ellie…):
Ripple
reader and my best friend Dennis Tharp (those who’ve read my memoir will note this is the pivotal “Thap” in the book) forwarded this
very interesting piece
about cognitive distortions. Much to consider.
My Writings:
I am on a brief hiatus from
Lavender Magazine
; look for more columns in January.
Past and Upcoming Talks/Trainings and General Stuff:
I’m done with training or speaking for 2018, which will give me time to regroup and prepare for what’s promising to be another intense year in 2019. (Good; there is so much that’s needed to make the world a better place.) In January, I’ll return to see my friends at Lands’ End for two days of Gray Area Thinking® training. I also have a multi-part contract to train City of Saint Paul team members on human inclusivity and allyship—some of that will happen in January and then into the spring. On the horizon is a return to Richmond to train a new client, the Williams Mullen law firm and speaking to the local Association of Legal Administrators chapter in Los Angeles. My Upcoming Engagements page is stale; I’ll update it over the holiday.
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Finally....
The Ripple
is a work in progress, so please, I welcome your suggestions and comments! Please share this newsletter with others, too!
Thank you for helping to make the world a better place! I'm at your side, cheering you on, I promise! Please have compassion for yourself and for others.
ellie
Encouraging Open Hearts and Thriving Human Spirits
Human Inspiration Works, LLC: We make "inclusion" an action word
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Ellen (Ellie) Krug
319-360-1692
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