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ellie krug
writer, lawyer, human
Human Inspiration Works, LLC
The Ripple
Vol 6 No. 1 January 2021
Inspired by the words and actions of Robert F. Kennedy
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Dear Friends:
We made it! Yesterday, President Joe and Veep Kamala were sworn in. It happened two weeks after the insurrectionists attacked the U.S. Capitol and it came after four years of countless ways in which America exemplified anything but “greatness.”
What a tough time it has been for our country. We’ve had the pandemic and election turmoil, and now the images and sounds of January 6th will be so had to forget. That includes the vivid reminder of how law enforcement plans and acts differently with white-color insurrectionists compared to peacefully protesting black and brown people.
This has me thinking about what our country stands for and what our collective future as Americans might be. I know that I’m not alone in this.
When I was a kid living in New Jersey and then in Iowa, I was taught that America was the greatest country on Earth and that Americans, with our democratic ideals, were exceptional. There was no challenge we couldn’t overcome, no occasion that we couldn’t rise to.
The reality, as we’ve been vividly reminded, is that America is utterly imperfect. With a centuries-old history of holding down anyone who’s “Other” because of skin color, country of birth, LGBTQ status, and gender, America is anything but exceptional.
We Americans are just like everyone else: we’re human. We respond to fear and cower to bullies. We forego principles in the quest for personal power and all too often, we selfishly put our own interests above the interests of the many.
But wait; all is not lost! There’s one particularly important saving grace—most of us are good empathetic humans. In this recent stirring video, Arnold Schwarzenegger refers to the “servant heart,” and while he referenced that to public service, I believe that almost all of us—elected or not—have the same willingness to act for others and for the common good. It’s just that none of our leaders of late has called upon us to do this.
This month, I offer two stories of how ordinary Americans acted with good empathetic hearts. Millions of times a day, we show up for other humans in a myriad of ways. I know many of you practice this regularly and I thank you for that!
America turned a page yesterday. If we work together, going forward, we can change America’s trajectory; I’m just positive of it!
Until next month, be well. I care about you.
ellie
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Ripple Reader Bebo Andrews shared this story from San Rafael, California where Sean Curry, 57, was experiencing homelessness. As he sifted through a dumpster behind a coffee shop, he found a small, floral-patterned wallet packed with credit cards and the driver’s license of 80-year-old Evelyn Topper. Sean decided to do the right thing and called Evelyn to say that he had found her wallet.
Evelyn, who had been distraught over losing her wallet after she visited the coffee shop, immediately got in her car and drove to meet Sean. As they talked, Evelyn learned about Sean’s story—he usually worked construction but had gotten pneumonia at the start of the pandemic and was hospitalized. After recovering, he was able to stay in subsidized housing for several months, but he eventually lost that. For several months up until finding Evelyn’s wallet, Sean had been living out of his car.
Upon finding Evelyn's wallet, Sean briefly thought about using her credit cards. As he later related to the Washington Post, Sean said, “I can’t say that I didn’t think about it (using the credit cards), but only for a second. Anybody in the position of being homeless and cold and tired and hungry…they’re going to think about it…(but) I would rather be cold and hungry and know that I did the right thing.”
Sean’s kindness prompted Evelyn’s granddaughter, Mikayla, who was about to turn twelve, to ask for contributions to support Sean in lieu of birthday presents. As a result, Mikayla raised $475 for Sean.
The WP story passingly references that Mikayla’s mother had created a GoFundMe page to help out Sean; however, that’s where the piece ended—there was nothing about the success of the GoFundMe. Because I was curious, I searched GoFundMe and found that incredibly, as of January 19th, $52,147 had been raised for Sean from 1400 people, with the ultimate goal of raising $75K to help Sean get back on his feet. Wow!
As he reflected on what his act of kindness had in return brought him, Sean said, “I believe I have a good heart. Maybe, if I keep doing the right thing, more people will too, and it will change the world, in a small way, for the better.”
Doing the right thing. Acting with kindness. Generosity of spirit and time. Such basic core values that are so important to a healthy, vibrant society. May this story help all of us to remember those values!
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Doing the Right Thing Inspires Others
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Our second story about humans being good to each other arises from a suburban Atlanta fast-food drive thru where Feroza Syed saw a man in the car in front of hers throw a large drink at the woman working at the window—all because the man didn’t want ice in his drink.
When Feroza got to the window, she found the woman, Bryanna (the story doesn’t provide a last name for Bryanna) soaked and crying. Bryanna was also obviously six months’ pregnant.
Feroza expressed her outrage at what the man had done and gave Bryanna a $20 tip. However, by the time she got home, Feroza had formulated a plan to share what she had just witnessed at the drive-thru and then ask her thousands of Facebook friends and followers to donate “$5 or (whatever)” to her Venmo or Cash App, with the goal of getting that money to Bryanna.
Soon, more than $1700 had been raised. Quickly, Feroza met with Bryanna and gave her a note card with the money inside it. As Bryanna later recounted the moment, “She (Feroza) gave me the envelope and I couldn’t do nothing but cry because I wasn’t expecting that.”
Feroza doesn’t believe she did anything special. She said, “I just saw somebody being mistreated and I didn’t like what I saw.” She added, “Doing the right thing inspires others to do the right thing and what I keep learning again and again…is that when you see something like this…where someone is being mistreated or harmed…all it takes is one person to change the narrative.”
This is so absolutely true. We just have to be brave enough to imagine helping another person and then acting on that thought. Almost all of us are capable of this; it just takes work and a willingness to take risks to help another human. But truly, we all get inspired to do better when we see someone else doing the right thing.
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Inclusivity Tip of the Month
Leadership Statements in
Times of Crisis
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I’ve seen a number of recent company/workplace-issued statements that addressed the January 6th insurrection and related fear about more unrest. These kinds of statements from business leaders are becoming more common; indeed, some workplace leaders have issued several statements beginning with the COVID-19 pandemic last spring, then followed by communications about George Floyd’s murder and the subsequent civil unrest, all the way up to statements about the presidential election chaos.
There are two challenges with crisis-related leadership statements.
The first hurdle is whether to even issue such a communication. Many leadership teams are reluctant to speak up because they fear affecting team member or client sensitivities, or they because they believe their words might be misconstrued or used against them. Moreover, some leaders are uncomfortable commenting on social justice issues because they feel doing so detracts from the organization’s mission or purpose and don’t want to “get political.”
Despite these concerns, I almost always recommend that leaders weigh in on national or world events that are certain to affect team members and clients. Humans expect their leaders to lead; acknowledging that a cataclysmic event or crisis has impacted team members emotionally, or even possibly financially, is something that leaders should do. Moreover, an acknowledgment in the form of a public statement helps team members feel as if their leaders care about them—a basic precept of workplace inclusivity.
The second hurdle is what to say in a crisis statement. The wordsmithing challenges are intimidating enough to cause many leadership teams to forego even trying. Again, though, this is why leaders get paid big bucks; just because you might not know what to say isn’t a reason to not say something. Leaders can reach out to qualified team members or outside consultants for help.
In drafting a crisis-related communication, my rule is to always speak from the heart; one can never go wrong with that. Thus, at the very least, a crisis statement should include words to the effect, “We care about you; we are here for you.” Above all else, team members need to hear this from those who are leading them.
Additionally, it’s important to acknowledge that a crisis may impact different team members differently. When the pandemic lockdown began, team members with school-aged children or at-risk parents experienced challenges that were different from team members without those life situations. Similarly, George Floyd’s murder (and other police or racist-involved killings) certainly affected BIPOC (black, Indigenous, other people of color) team members way differently than how many white-color team members were affected. At the very least, a leadership team should communicate that they understand this.
In addition to issuing crisis statements, some leaders go so far as to convene listening sessions to give team members an opportunity to share how they’re dealing (or not dealing) with the crisis. This is the mark of platinum-level leadership; certainly, doing this could be bumpy and uncomfortable for many, but it demonstrates that leaders are willing to take risks in order to let their people know they care. It’s also a way of building trust and inclusivity, which in the end promote longevity within the organization.
In summary, leaders shouldn’t run from or ignore the need for crisis statements. I’ll say it again: leaders need to lead. Acting boldly fulfills that requirement!
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Odds & Ends
This month’s O&E includes stories about addressing past racism, the kind of reckoning that we need more of in 2021. But we start out with a dad proving his love for his young son via a tattoo.
Darn Wonderful: Here’s the gut-tugging story of Derek Prue Sr., who surprised his 8-year-old-son Derek Jr. by getting an exact tattoo of the large purple birthmark that Derek was born with on much of his abdomen; the son had been extremely self-conscious of the birthmark and Dad wanted to be supportive—which took 30 hours of pain in a tattoo parlor. This is what one would call “love.”
Second Darn Wonderful: Check out this video of Bach being uniquely played in the forest of Kyushu, Japan.
Third Darn Wonderful: Watch aquarium dolphins spin along as a man does cartwheels. There is so much about the animal world that we humans don’t understand…
Massachusetts Cop Buys Xmas Dinner After Hearing Shoplifters’ Story: Shortly before Christmas, Somerset MA police officer Matt Lima was called to a local grocery store about two women caught shoplifting food. When Matt learned the women were part of a family that couldn’t afford Christmas dinner, he gave them a $250 gift card to buy what was needed for a good meal. Because many cops have empathetic hearts, too. See here.
Allyship to Help a MN State Trooper: While driving down a Twin Cities metro highway one recent evening, Vincent Williams came across the scene of a Minnesota state trooper being pinned to the ground and beaten by a man he had stopped for OWI. Vincent stopped his car and went to the trooper’s aid. Later, 280 people contributed to a financial gift for Vincent; watch as Vincent shares, “I’ve been going through troubles,” and how the money came at a critical time. Make sure to note skin colors in this story—remember how we group and label humans.
Allyship by a Waitress: Florida restaurant server Flaviane Carvalho noticed bruises on an 11-year-old boy and flashed him a note asking if he needed help; when the boy nodded “yes,” Flaviane notified police, who arrested the boy’s stepfather and later, his mother. The boy, who was 20 lbs. underweight, was regularly hung from his ankles and beaten by the stepfather. Imagine the bravery of Flaviane; and as well, imagine the lifelong suffering of the poor boy. At least he’s now safe! Click here.
Barbie Has a Girlfriend: See this story about Barbie “coming out.” Welcome to the alphabet Barbie!
Correcting the Record: Here are two stories about correcting racial injustices in sports. One story is about clearing the reputation of Jim Thorp, the first Native American Olympian who was wrongly accused of losing his amateur athlete status and forced to return his Olympic medals after the 1912 Olympics. The second story details Major League Baseball’s efforts to fully recognize the Negro League—which existed solely because of Jim Crow practices and attitudes. We need to do a lot of record correcting!
Saying Thanks to a UPS Driver: Hundreds in a neighborhood turned out to surprise UPS driver Anthony Gaskin for his unfaltering service during the pandemic. Wonderful! Click here.
Kansas City Newspaper Apologizes for Racist Reporting: Following George Floyd’s murder, The Kansas City Star looked inward at its long history of reinforcing Jim Crow and racial stereotypes. See this piece in which the newspaper apologizes for the injustices done to black Kansas Citians.
No Boxes for Ballet Dancer: Ashton Edwards, 18, is breaking ballet gender norms by taking both male and female ballet classes. As Edwards said, “It took a lot of searching within myself, but I think my goals in life and in my career and who I saw myself as a person were much bigger than just one small box I was put in. So, I decided to explore." Delightful! Read here.
Heart-touching for Transgender Humans: Here is a touching personal essay by the 75-year-old grandmother of a newly “out” 22-year-old transgender granddaughter. Read through the entire essay please; you will come to these words: “To my granddaughter, I say: Thank you for teaching me the value of living an authentic life. I am proud to be your grandmother. And as my thoughts and heart transition to embrace this new you, please know one thing isn’t changing ― I love you.”
Breaking Ground for Trans People: This week, the Biden Administration nominated Dr. Rachel Levine, a transgender woman and presently the PA Secretary of Health, as the Assistant Secretary of Health for r for the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services. She will be the highest-ranking transgender person ever working in a presidential administration. See here.
Not at All Good for Transgender Humans: It’s a new legislative season in every statehouse, and as this NBC News piece reports, Montana was quick to introduce a bill prohibiting transgender girls from participating in high school sports; even worse, a second bill seeks to criminalize health care for transgender minors. You’ll read that there currently are a total of six states considering similar bills. Trans people continue to be the convenient target for intolerant lawmakers/organizations to fundraise/rally against. Horrible!
Kate’s Pick: My 30-year-old daughter Kate, a writer like me, is a freelancer for Book Riot where she reviews books. Check out her website, It’s All Booked. Kate’s book recommendation for this month is His Only Wife by Peace Adzo Medie. Kate’s take: “This contemporary book takes a look at feminism through the lens of Ghanaian women. Afi is a young, talented seamstress but has little possibility to make a name for herself. Her father is dead, her mother struggles to make ends meet, and they live in a cramped house with her uncle, aunts, and cousins. So, when she gets the offer to marry into a wealthy family, she can't say ‘no.’ It turns out that her new husband, Eli, has secrets - he's in love with a woman his family doesn't approve of, so he needs this sham marriage to Afi to win back his parents' love. Eventually, Afi works for a well-known fashion designer and finds independence she never thought possible; this gets all the more complicated when her feelings towards Eli begin to shift.”
Stuff That I’m Reading: With all that’s been written about the insurrection and where America is right now, this piece by Adam Serwer of Atlantic Magazine, titled “The Capitol Riot Was an Attack on Multiracial Democracy,” does a great job of accurately summarizing what we’ve been experiencing. I highly recommend this piece!
Jesus as a Radical: Here is a fantastic Christmas Eve NYT piece by Peter Wehner about how Jesus was radically inclusive toward anyone who was “Other.” I particularly like how Wehner reminds us that Jesus gave dignity to those whom society had made outcasts. The lesson is as applicable today as it was then.
Kindness: I love this CBS News piece about the power of human kindness; it’s well worth the 7 minutes of your time to view. If only we could unleash every human’s potential for kindness; that’s worth working for!
“Ellie 2.0 Radio” Podcasts/Shows: My podcast/show, “Ellie 2.0 Radio,” airs on Twin Cities-based AM950 on Saturdays from 10 to 11 a.m. with re-airings on Sundays from 1 to 2 p.m. The show can be live-streamed by clicking here. Ellie 2.0 Radio highlights various historical and contemporary idealists and my work as a “practical idealist” trying to change the world for the better. In my January 9th show, I highlight Invisible People.org, a nonprofit that gives voice to those struggling with homelessness. The Big Interview from that show is with Dr. Keith Mayes from the Univ. of MN, who talks about structural racism in the Twin Cities. Click here to access that show and other podcasts.
Writings by Me—Lavender Magazine: I’ve got a two-fer for “Skirting the Issues” columns in Lavender Magazine; my December 17th column titled “Consequences” discusses how the presidential election impacted me as an idealist and transgender person. The other column, “Never Say Never,” recounts me buying a house after I vowed that my days of homeownership were over. Call me human…
And Now Add Minnesota Women’s Press to the List: Starting this month, I’ll be a regular columnist for Minnesota Women’s Press, the oldest woman-owned publication in the country. Here’s my piece, “Trash,” about parting with loving notecards from my former soulmate. It was so incredibly hard to do…
Book Clubs Take Note: If your book club reads my book, Getting to Ellen, I’m willing to meet with the club online to talk about the book and the life lessons I learned in transitioning from male to female. The book is available on Amazon, Kindle, Nook and Apple iBook. Even better, why not order the book via your local privately-owned bookstore?
Status Report on my Second Book, Being Ellen: Unfortunately, moving into a new home has taken up a lot of valuable time that I would otherwise have spent on my second book. Hopefully, the pause will end come February. Ugh.
Online Following: Please follow me on LinkedIn, where you can find me at Ellen (Ellie) Krug; my Twitter handle is @elliekrug; and on Instagram, you can follow me @elliejkrug.
Past and Upcoming Talks/Trainings and General Stuff: Next week, I present to Piper Sandler, the financial investment people. February will have me presenting to 3M Company, the folks who have invented many wonderful things, including the all-important Post-it Notes. I’ll also present to Wisconsin educators on two occasions, and additionally, I’ll train the court system in Hennepin County on structural racism and white fragility. If you’re interested in my schedule for Upcoming Online Engagements, click here.
Want to Support My Work toward Fostering Greater Compassion and Human Inclusivity? Some of you have recently given to Human Ripple Works, Inc., a nonprofit that I and others have set up to train nonprofits and other organizations on human inclusivity. Thank you for that!! If you’d like to support this work, please click here on the HRW website. Thanks for considering this!
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Finally....
The Ripple is a work in progress, so please, I welcome your suggestions and comments! Please share this newsletter with others, too!
Thank you for helping to make the world a better place! I'm at your side, cheering you on, I promise! Please have compassion for yourself and for others.
ellie
Encouraging Open Hearts and Thriving Human Spirits
Human Inspiration Works, LLC: We make "inclusion" an action word
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Ellen (Ellie) Krug
319-360-1692
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