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ellie krug
writer, lawyer, human
Human Inspiration Works, LLC
The Ripple
Vol 5 No. 7 August 2020
Inspired by the words and actions of Robert F. Kennedy
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Are you in the Choir? If so, please Sing!
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Dear Friends:
It’s been quite a few weeks since you last heard from me, so I’ll ask: how are you doing? How have you fared since the last Ripple? Are you sleeping well? Would you like to talk?
I inquire because I care about you, and because it’s the kind of thing one does when they have empathy and compassion for other humans.
And, empathy and compassion are what we must have for each other. Especially now. I trust that you will recall this is a common theme with me.
My time off from this newsletter was partially productive—the draft of the second installment in my memoir series is up to 112K words and just a couple chapters shy of being a complete rough first stab. Yet, I didn’t get to write as much as I had hoped; July had me conducting more than a dozen talks or trainings for several clients. (Thankfully!)
One of those trainings (which I talk about in detail in the Inclusivity Tip below) was about white fragility and it had the organization’s leader commenting, “Ellie, this session has been very helpful but the truth is, everyone here on Zoom is in the choir. How do we reach those who aren’t in the choir?”
I responded that the organization’s leaders needed to set expectations around learning to talk about skin color and structural racism, which meant telling those not in attendance that they certainly need to sign up for the next such training. Additionally, I said, “If you’re in the choir, start singing!”
By that I meant it’s important to share about what we’re learning. America is still a place of networks—coffee klatches at the local McDonald’s, book clubs via Zoom, and church socials—and it’s in those places where we must talk about the Great Awakening around racism that’s happening now. “Sing”—talk about the need to get specific training on how white-color people have benefitted from a system that’s always emphasized whitism. Sing too on the need to understand that Black lives do matter!
Finally, I need to make clear that I know there are many white-color people receiving The Ripple who are “woke”—who understand the nature and amount of work needed to make America more equitable. My dear friend Sean has reminded me of how I sometimes speak in too broad of generalities; if I’ve offended any of you by past comments, I apologize. It’s just that not everyone is on the same page and I always shoot for the moon.
That’s one of the ways my idealism shows up—always shooting for the moon.
Happy August, everyone! Enjoy what we have left of summer 2020; the hard work really begins after Labor Day!
ellie
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Two Stories of Black Men Rescuing White-Color Cops |
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In light of all the current issues around policing—particularly as it relates to how black, brown and Indigenous people suffer at the hands of law enforcement—here are two stories that will inspire us to remember that most humans have good empathetic hearts and will act with compassion regardless of historical trauma or color barriers.
Our first story, from Aleesha Khaliq of CNN, is about Patrick Hutchinson who was attending a Black Lives Matter protest in London when he saw a white-color man lying in the fetal position while being beaten by several people from far-right groups. Patrick and several of his friends intervened to form a cordon around the injured man, who was later identified as Bryn Male, a retired police officer. Eventually, Patrick picked up Bryn into a fireman’s carry and took him to safety.
When asked why he intervened, Patrick said that he didn’t want the BLM protest to be known as a violent gathering. He went on to say that he’d like to break down race barriers because, “we’re all one people, we are all one race.” Moreover, Patrick pointed out that had just one of the officers involved with George Floyd intervened, George’s life would have been saved. “You have to show some sort of love for your fellow man, regardless,” he said.
The second story involves Daylan McLee of Uniontown PA, who came upon a two-car collision at an intersection. One of those vehicles was a police car containing Officer Jay Hanely, whose leg was trapped in the wreckage. With the police car on fire, another officer unsuccessfully tried to pry Jay free. At that point, Daylan stepped in, ripped the door open, and pulled Jay to safety across the street.
As reported both by CBS News and Brian Niemietz in the NY Daily News, Daylan had been arrested in 2016 on an unsubstantiated weapons charge that left him in jail for a year awaiting trial. Further, earlier this year Daylan was charged with resisting arrest when confronted by plainclothes cops.
Daylan said he didn’t hesitate to help Jay because he had been taught certain values. “We need to work on our humanity…that’s the main problem of this world. We’re stuck on how to get up or to get even, and that is not how I was raised to be. You learn, you live, you move on and I was always taught to forgive big.”
I highly recommend viewing the CBS New story about Daylan’s act of courage. You will see him reunite with Jay and his wife, who are eternally thankful that Daylan was willing to act with great compassion in a situation where some would understand if he didn't want to become involved.
Please share about these stories. Yes, we have much to work on around policing in America, but these two stories show that it’s still possible to get past animosity if we can just see each other as humans.
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Grit, Resiliency and Allyship
Lead to Harvard Law
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Last month, Skylar Mitchell of CNN published an incredible story about Rehan Staton of Bowie MD. The piece demonstrates how personal grit and resiliency, complimented by the allyship of others, can make possible almost anything.
When Rehan was eight, his mother left the family and moved to another country, leaving only Rehan’s father to raise Rehan and his older brother. Money became very tight—his father worked two, and sometimes, three jobs to make ends meet—and Rehan wasn’t eating meals every day. His grades began to suffer, and by 7th grade, a teacher recommended that Rehan be placed in remedial classes.
Rehan’s father wouldn’t have that, and through serendipity, he met an aerospace engineer who offered to tutor Rehan for free for the rest of the school year. As a result, Rehan made honor roll. Later, when Rehan’s plans to become a professional boxer fizzled due to an injury, he applied to college only to be rejected.
At that point, Rehan began working for a refuse company as a sanitation worker. However, allyship again happened; Rehan’s coworkers at the refuse company (almost all of whom were formerly incarcerated) urged Rehan to not give up on college. Soon, the son of the refuse company’s owner became a mentor; that person then introduced Rehan to a professor at Bowie State. The professor was so impressed with Rehan that he intervened with the college to get Rehan admitted. Once at Bowie State, Rehan earned a 4.0 GPA his first year. Later, he went on to become the president of several student organizations.
This fall, Rehan will start at Harvard Law School.
In reflecting on his journey, Rehan said, “Throughout my entire life…all the people in my life who I was supposed to look up to were the ones who always downplayed me and made me feel bad about myself. I had to go to the ‘bottom’ of the social hierarchy—that’s to say formerly incarcerated sanitation workers—in order to be uplifted.”
A key commonality between humans is that we all want a child in our life to succeed. This story reflects the importance of stepping in to help a child to do just that. Can you imagine what the world would look like if America instituted a formalized mentoring program for at-risk youth? As Rehan discovered, strangers are often willing to invest in seeing that a child succeeds. Wow!
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Inclusivity Tip of the Month
Organizational Leadership: Trust as a Critical Value
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At a recent “Getting Past the Bumpiness” training on white fragility and skin color, I received a question/comment that called for two distinct kinds of responses. One response—educating the question-asker on why their belief on the subject was dead-wrong—went relatively well. The other needed response—to acknowledge how the questioner’s words (notwithstanding good intent) might have adversely impacted people of color, particularly African Americans, who were on the Zoom training—went wanting completely.
To my client’s great credit, they allowed me to come back to apologize for my mistake and to allow space for us to talk about the importance of apology, forgiveness, and allowing each other a degree of grace. In that regard, I believe I restored the audience’s ability to trust that I will do the right thing.
Apart from the idea that one should fully own their mistakes, the experience provided another takeaway: how it’s important for organizational leaders to build and maintain team member trust when the leaders say they’re committed to diversity and inclusion.
In general, a leader builds trust by following through on what they say they’ll do. As it relates to D&I, this includes leaders showing their commitment to creating a more inclusive and equitable workplace by not only talking about those values, but also by real action. That can include bringing in outside trainers, creating a D&I Plan, allowing for Employee Resource Groups to have a voice within the organization, and by continually speaking about the need to make people feel as if they matter.
However, sometimes building and keeping trust requires that leaders speak up to protect team members who are from marginalized communities. For the record, that is where I failed in the above instance.
Many people of color, who are often lower on the corporate food chain, fear that speaking up/advocating for themselves or for their community will jeopardize their standing within the organization. . The fear is understandable—if they say something in a white-dominated society, will they be penalized by white-color leaders? Historically, this has been the case time and again.
Leaders need to understand both this history and the attendant fear. Consequently, leaders must be ever-vigilant of the need to step in and speak up when team members of color/those from other marginalized communities (including women) might be reluctant to advocate for themselves. This requires training other organizational leaders on the need to speak up, too.
In the end, trust is also about leaders who speak from the heart and show it. As I regularly counsel, this work isn’t something that you relegate to quarterly corporate meetings or for the annual company retreat. Rather, it must be reinforced weekly in messaging from the top—to the point where team members can’t miss that, “You matter, we want you, we will listen to you, and we will protect you.”
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Odds & Ends
We’ve got a lot of videos this month, including not one, but two videos of toddlers being tossed from burning buildings to rescuers below, and several pieces involving singers of two different species. Sorry for the long list of items below, but hey, some people really enjoy O&E over their morning coffee, so here we go…
Darn Wonderful: For starters, here’s a golden retriever that sings along to Pavarotti. Yep. And here’s a pool party for a bunch of goldens. You get the idea of my favorite breed, right?
Second Darn Wonderful: Here’s some of the best advice I’ve ever heard a new dad give to wanna-be fathers. Wow—share this if you can!
Two More Wonderfuls: Here’s a video of men saving a toddler dropped from the third floor of a burning building in Arizona. This second video is of a child dropped to rescuers from a building on fire in France. Real time compassion and courage!
A Man Singing to Himself on a Park Bench Ignites Dozens: The tune is Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer”; click here to smile broadly.
Have You Heard of CAHOOTS? In the wake of George Floyd’s murder and the attendant protests with police officers using force on peaceful protestors, many white-color people now understand that policing in America must change. Here’s a great story about the CAHOOTS program in Eugene OR that diverts some 911 calls to social workers and mental health counselors for a holistic approach to policing; it’s proof that using imagination can radically transform how a community deals with those who often end up being hurt or killed in police encounters.
Cop Saves Choking Baby: Watch it unfold right here.
Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights: Many know that Bobby Kennedy is one of my heroes (this newsletter is named for his 1966 “Ripple of Hope” speech at the University of Cape Town). I recently learned about the Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights organization that’s doing incredible advocacy work around the globe. Among its 2020 “Ripple of Hope Award” recipients are Dr. Anthony Fauci and Colin Kaepernick. Read more about this great organization here.
Mom Gets Inventive to Help Her Child with CP Skateboard: Check out this video of a mother who was bound and determined to help her child who has cerebral palsy skateboard. Wonderful!
Wisconsin Boaters Encounter a Swimming Bear with a Jar on His Head: No, I’m not making this up. Click here to see one darn lucky bear!
Viola Davis Talks About Racism in Hollywood: She lays it all out here.
The film, “Welcome to Chechnya”: If you’ve not seen this film about how LGBTQ people are being persecuted in Chechnya, and how incredibly brave allies are coming forward to smuggle people out of the country, I highly recommend it. Again, why are people from my community hated so much in some places?
More International: ROPES is about fostering Middle East Peace via Millennials. My thanks for Ripple reader Jaime Roth for tipping me off to this!
Watch this Video of the “Privilege and Class” Exercise. The key to understanding the exercise is when the facilitator reminds participants that they’re ahead simply because of circumstances which had nothing to do with personal decisions each person had made.
A Great Piece re: “13 Microaggressions Black People Deal With All the Time”: Click here.
Time Magazine Article on Segregation and the Wealth Gap: Here’s an article that focuses on Minneapolis; you can also find in it a link to Myron Orfield’s study, “Integration and Neo-Segregation,” completed for the Institute on Metropolitan Opportunity at the U of M Law School.
I in 4 LGBTQ Youth Identify as Nonbinary: That means a lot of people are asking to be referred to as “they and “them.” See here.
Check Out the Midwest Gender Identity Summit in Sept.: Many know that I worked with The Transformation Project SD in Sioux Falls earlier this year. Here’s a link to their online Gender Identity Summit in Sept.—it looks like a great event!
Good Things for Transgender People: By now, everyone is aware of the Bostock v. Clayton County Supreme Court decision holding that gay, lesbian and trans people can’t be fired for being themselves at work. Last week, a federal court extended Bostock to hold that a Florida high school couldn’t bar a trans male student from using the boy’s restroom. Additionally, a federal court has struck down Idaho’s recent law preventing trans people from changing their birth certificates. Read here.
A Trans Model in SI: Check out this story about Valentina Sampaio, the first transgender woman to be featured in Sports Illustrated. Yeah!
Allyship for LGBTQ People in Poland: In the face of government-authorized repression of LGBTQ people in Poland, newly-installed Polish woman legislators showed their allyship by dressing in colors of the rainbow flag. See here and here.
Not Good for Trans Humans: In June we had the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services telling medical and therapeutic professionals it’s okay if they discriminate against transgender people. Now, the U.S. Dept. of Housing and Urban Development wants to bar transgender women from female-only shelters. Ugh! See here.
Daniel Smith, 88, Is the Living Son of an Enslaved Person: When you consider this, you realize that the enslavement of humans really is only a full generation ago. The CNN story is here.
Asheville NC Okays Reparations: The subject of reparations for African Americans—as a way of righting historical wrongs—will be a hot topic going forward. See this story about Asheville NC not waiting.
Kate’s Pick: My 30-year-old daughter Kate, a writer like me, is a freelancer for Book Riot where she reviews books. Check out her website, It’s All Booked. Kate’s book recommendation for this month is Is the Lost Children Archive by Valeria Luiselli. Kate’s take: “This book takes on the
‘polarizing’ debate re: the immigration crisis at the southern border of the United States and Mexico. We follow a family of four who take off from New York headed for Apacheria in Mexico. As they cross the country, they hear horror stories about what's happening at the border and the nearer they get, the more the family begins to unravel. This book is incredibly thought-provoking and presented in an innovative blend of multiple voices, documents and images. It feels all the more serious given today's political landscape.”
“Ellie 2.0 Radio” Podcasts/Shows—A New Time Slot!: My podcast/show, “Ellie 2.0 Radio,” airs on Twin Cities-based AM950 and I’ve now got a new timeslot of Mondays from 2 to 3 p.m. with re-airings on Sundays from 1 to 2 p.m. The show can be live-streamed by clicking here. Ellie 2.0 Radio highlights various historical and contemporary idealists and my work as a “practical idealist” trying to change the world for the better. I’ve had several great shows over the last six weeks, including the July 6th show with an interview of Abdi Sabrie, a Mankato MN school board member who experienced visible marginalization as the only person of color on the school board; my July 13th show with Alberder Gillespie, a candidate for MN’s 4th Congressional District and founder of Black Women Rising; and my August 10th show with Russel Balenger of The Circle of Peace Movement and his group’s incredible work tackling gang violence and fear in St. Paul.. Click here to access those shows and other podcasts.
Writings by Me: While I was on break from The Ripple, Lavender Magazine published two new pieces by me, “Sirens,” and “The Fate of the Republic.” Both pieces relate my reactions to current events, some of which have given me a mild dose of PTSD (and I know I’m not alone in this…).
Writings that Quote Me: Here’s a really nice article by Mary Kate Sheridan in Legal Management, the magazine of the Association of Legal Administrators, where I’m quoted on how to create a workplace that’s welcoming and open to transgender team members.
Stuff that I’m Reading: I recently finished American Poison: How Racial Hostility Destroyed Our Promise by Eduardo Porter. The book chronicles how racism has infected nearly every aspect of American life—unions, public and suburban housing policies, and welfare/social justice programs—and I can’t recommend it enough. The book is very readable and will help to educate you on what structural racism looks like. Also, I recommend this Atlantic magazine piece by Mychal Denzel Smith that argues against incremental change around policing—the theory is you have to go big or otherwise it won’t work.
Okay, So You Have Time on Your Hands? How about ordering my book, Getting to Ellen? It’s available on Amazon, Kindle, Nook and Apple iBooks: if you’d like an inscribed copy, email me.
Status Report on my Second Book, Being Ellen: As I advised above, I’m close to finishing the first good rough draft of the second installment of my memoir-trilogy, Being Ellen: A Newly Minted Woman Engages with the World. This means that I’ll soon be able to engage in the real work of editing and adding what I call my “special sauce”—spin and humor that makes things so much more enjoyable. Or so I hope. Stay tuned!
Online Following: I’m thrilled to report that the number of my Twitter followers has crossed the 1000-mark—it’s now 1013 to be exact! On LinkedIn, you can find me at Ellen (Ellie) Krug; my Twitter handle is @elliekrug; and on Instagram, you can follow me @elliejkrug.
Past and Upcoming Talks/Trainings and General Stuff: Next week, I’ll present to CVS Pharmacies corporate HQ. In the next several weeks, I’ll speak to the Orange County, Minnesota and St. Louis chapters of the Assoc. of Legal Administrators—all great folks! In September, I’ll present to governmental team members in Eau Claire, WI and I’ll also be returning to Ameriprise Financial. Everything is online of course. If you’re inclined to see my Upcoming Online Engagements, click here.
Want to Support My Work toward Fostering Greater Compassion and Human Inclusivity? Some of you have recently given to Human Ripple Works, Inc., a nonprofit that I and others have set up to train nonprofits and other organizations on human inclusivity. Thank you for that!! If you’d like to support this work, please click here on the HRW website. Thanks for considering this!
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Finally....
The Ripple is a work in progress, so please, I welcome your suggestions and comments! Please share this newsletter with others, too!
Thank you for helping to make the world a better place! I'm at your side, cheering you on, I promise! Please have compassion for yourself and for others.
ellie
Encouraging Open Hearts and Thriving Human Spirits
Human Inspiration Works, LLC: We make "inclusion" an action word
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Ellen (Ellie) Krug
319-360-1692
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