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ellie krug
writer, lawyer, human
Human Inspiration Works, LLC
The Ripple
July 2018 Vol 3 No. 7
Inspired by the words and actions of Robert F. Kennedy
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Remembering Those Hidden in Rural America
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Dear Friends:
Last month I trekked north to Grand Marais, Minnesota—some 260 miles from the Twin Cities—to speak at the town’s public library for Pride Weekend. I had never been to Grand Marais and let me tell you, it’s at the end of one beautiful drive along Lake Superior in a still-pristine part of America. (I also took along my 26-year-old-daughter Meredyth; look in next month’s
Lavender Magazine
for a lovely related story.)
About 30 people attended my talk—not bad for a beautiful, warm Saturday in this Iron Range town. I gave my “Bridging Divides” talk about how it’s possible to get past the horrific divisions in our country only if we’re brave and willing to focus on the many commonalities that we share.
In the audience was a collection of folks—including library director Steve Harsin (thank you Steve!), County Commissioner Heidi Doo-Kirk (a past guest on my Hidden Edges Radio show) and two gay men who drove south 50 miles from International Falls just to hear my talk. (Very humbling.)
As is my practice, I passed around a sign-up sheet for this newsletter. Sometimes audience members write comments or notes as they provide their emails. A comment from Grand Marais was this: “Thank you for working in rural America.”
The note was a good reminder that in large swaths of our country, LGBTQ people and others who are “different” remain hidden and isolated due to the fear of being judged or discriminated against. Certainly, Grand Marais seemed a very welcoming place but I’m sure that outside of town, things are different. This is the case is so many places in America and a reason that I took a 3300-mile speaking and listening road trip through the deep South earlier this year.
I have other talks in greater MN set for later this summer; however, I need to do more in rural America. I know that merely showing up as me (a transgender woman whose voice gives her away) helps some who are hidden feel not as alone. And, sometimes my words help those who might be intolerant think a bit more openly.
I can’t simply show up in places and instead need to have an invitation to speak; thus, if you live in a rural area, invite me to speak. I will come. We will make it work!
ellie
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An Historic Flood Ignites Compassion
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A June 29th
StoryCorps episode
reminds how strangers—recently reunited—from two completely different ways of life can exercise great mutual compassion, even to the point of it being life-changing.
Niota, Illinois sits on the banks of the Mississippi River; in July 1993, it was at risk of being flooded. In an effort to shore up levees, inmates from a prison boot camp in Greene County, Illinois were sent to help with sandbagging. That’s where then-twenty-three-year-old Greg Yance (who was serving a sentence for a drug conviction) met “The Orange Drink Lady,” Neoma Farr.
Neoma, then 43 years old and the owner of a local beauty parlor, was impressed by the inmates’ efforts to save her town. “I seen how hard you worked, like it was your home that you was trying to save,” she says in the piece. Neoma decided to do her part by feeding the inmates and serving them orange-flavored juice. “You guys were so young, and I had children your age,” Neoma relates. “And I thought about if these were my children, how would I want them treated. So, I treated you like you were mine.”
“We felt that,” Greg answers. “That was why when this town flooded, that crushed us.” He adds that he felt he’d let the town’s residents down.
Neoma knew that the flooding wasn’t Greg’s or the other inmates’ faults. “You worked your tails off!” she answers. “We had so much respect for you guys. It wasn’t like, ‘Well, if they would have worked harder or faster.’ We were all in there together.”
Greg, now a machinist in Rockford, Illinois, says that he had long wanted to return to Niota ever since his release from prison in 1993. “The flood, it just changed my life,” he says. “When we was doing all this stuff, it made us feel like we had a purpose. What I felt when I was sandbagging and helping people, that kind of compassion. I just never been in a situation that, complete strangers helping each other.”
At the time of sandbagging in 1993, Neoma and other Niota residents didn’t get to know the names of Greg or any of the other inmates. “I’m just so excited that I get to meet you as a man,” she says.” “[Y]our name is Greg. And I’m just happy to meet you.”
This touching story reinforces that familiarity erases barriers between people. And too, engaging in a joint activity provides a pathway toward familiarity. I just loved hearing that Greg felt having a “purpose” gave him the ability to interact with another human who is so different from him.
Everyone has the ability to become familiar with a person who is “different” or “Other.” The payoffs from doing so can be life-changing, just as Greg and Neoma discovered!
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Grit and Resiliency: Marine Cpl. Todd Nicely
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A truly profound
CNN photojournalism piece
underscores the price of war and how the human spirit can persevere through horrors that most of us can only imagine.
Marine Cpl. Todd Nicely, who enlisted in the Marines because of 9/11, lost all four of his limbs while deployed in Afghanistan in 2010. Since then, he has learned how to live with prosthetics and through sheer grit and determination, something that Italian photojournalist Federico Borella documented after befriending Todd.
As Borella’s work reveals, Todd “didn’t want to be called a hero.” Rather, it shows that Todd has adapted to his new circumstances and as Borella reported, Todd “(C)an be depressed obviously; at the same time, he can have the strength to go on after everything.”
What’s unique about this story is Borella’s long term friendship with Todd, who he’s visited at Todd’s Lake Ozark, Missouri home several times over the past four years. In their first meeting, Borella expected to find someone whose life had been ruined by war; instead, he found that Todd had a different perspective grounded in reality with a sense of humor.
I urge you to spend the few minutes to read this story and take in the pictures of Marine Cpl. Todd Nicely, a soldier—
our soldier
—and a human. Todd is an unforgettable example of what we are capable of surviving when the human spirit is ignited.
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Inclusivity Tip of the Month
Cultural Competency vs. Cultural Humility
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Over the last several months, I’ve been repeatedly reminded about the importance of “cultural humility”; for many, this is not a familiar term. Rather, most people only know, “cultural competency.” What is the difference between the two?
A wonderful
short piece
describes cultural competency as where, “I’m the expert,” whereas cultural humility is acknowledging, “You’re the expert.” Cultural competency is to equip a person with the correct answers; on the other hand, cultural humility is understanding that you don’t have most of the answers about another person’s background or challenges, and instead, the best you can do is to ask good questions.
A basic element of cultural competency is understanding where various people (aka “tribes”) originate. From late night host Jimmy Kimmel here’s a
funny but sad example
of folks who lack even basic cultural competency.
Cultural humility requires personal curiosity about the world and those who inhabit it. It “involves an ongoing process of self-exploration and self-critique combined with a willingness to learn from others.” (See
link here
,) It also involves a willingness to be self-critical—to understand that you don’t have all the answers and that you very well might make mistakes as you learn more about folks who are “Other” from you. (See
link here
.) Still, folks who practice cultural humility “get it”—they understand that the societal deck is stacked in various ways which affect who has a place at the table and how tall their chair might be at that table. These folks recognize the need to enlarge the table so that everyone is seated equally.
Ask yourself: What do I know about people who are “Other”? Am I humble enough to admit that the answer is “not much”? Please be curious about people and the world and remember that one’s appearance hardly ever matches their life story.
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Odds and Ends
It’s July, a vacation month, and Odds & Ends is abbreviated. Even Ellie Krug needs a bit of a break.
Darn Wonderful:
Check out this
video
of four-year-old Maya Tisdale, who suffers from cerebral palsy, as she takes her very first steps!
Second Darn Wonderful:
Here’s a
story
about a Clearwater, Florida man who lost $1300 in cash in a supermarket parking lot, only to have a stranger later turn in the envelope containing the money.
Gay Rights Advocates Get Around Russia’s Homophobia:
Take a look at
this photo
of gay rights activists collectively wearing the colors of the LGBTQ flag at the World Cup. Ingenious.
Consider Attending the International Conference on Restorative Practices in St. Paul:
My friend Beth Bailey from Community Mediation and Restorative Services in Minneapolis advises that the conference will be held at Metropolitan State August 9-11 and will feature three keynote presentations and more than 60 breakouts on various topics about inclusion, restorative change and making our communities more vibrant. Click
here
for more information.
More Injustice:
As
reported by CNN
, Concepcion and Margarito Silva were hoping to spend the 4
th
of July with their daughter and son-in-law at the Fort Drum Army base in upstate New York where the son-in-law is stationed. Instead, after the Silvas (who have no criminal records but very serious health problems) entered the base, military officials reported them to ICE. They are now in the process of being deported. How can this happen in America?
Transgender Women at Risk:
Here is a
piece
about the health risks to transgender women, like moi, who take large dosages of estrogen for years. This risk is in part why I ride my bike so much—to stay healthy and if not, well at least I did what I loved to do.
Kate’s Picks
:
My 28-year-old daughter Kate, a writer like me, is a freelancer for
Book Riot
where she reviews books. She also has an entertainment-review website that’s fun and smart,
Snarky Yet Satisfying
.
She regularly reviews books on her blog; check it out! Her book pick for this month,
In the Country We Love: My Family Divided
,
is the first memoir from "Orange Is the New Black" and "Jane the Virgin" actress, Diane Guerrero, whose parents were arrested and deported when she was 14 (she discovered their arrest by coming back to an empty house after school). Guerrero outlines the path to her now successful career, how she reconnected and repaired her relationship with her parents in Colombia, and how we as a country can fight for immigration reform
“Ellie 2.0 Radio” Shows:
My show, “Ellie 2.0 Radio,” has now expanded to a full hour, on Mondays from 7 a.m. to 8 a.m. CST. Ellie 2.0 Radio highlights various idealists and my work as a “practical idealist” trying to change the world for the better. On Tuesday there will be a
podcast
of my interview with Jenny Schulz, founder of the Kids First Law Center in Cedar Rapids, who in less than 15 years has built the nonprofit from a zero budget to one with $750,000 doing work in three Iowa cities. She talks about how her mother’s empathy for others seeded her idealism.
My Writings:
With this month’s
Lavender Magazine
piece,
“Canary in a Coal Mine,”
I write about my experience at a recent training where some folks were intolerant of me, Ellie Krug, because I’m a transgender human. It hurt to see but at the same time reminded me of why I’m doing what I’m doing.
Job Opening:
My search for a Director of Inspiration who can cover my social media needs and fulfill various administrative duties continues. I believe in paying a living wage; in a perfect world, I will find someone who’s an idealist like me and willing to invest in making the world a better place. Please share this shout-out with people whom you think might fit the bill (they do not need to live in the Twin Cities).
Past and Upcoming Talks/Trainings and General Stuff:
July has brought a needed break from my travel schedule (in May, there was a 2 week stretch where I took off or landed 17 times). Still, this month has me giving keynotes for a conference of foster youth-future leaders in Duluth and another conference of community action organizations that fight poverty in St. Cloud. Things will start to get busy again in mid-August.
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Finally....
The Ripple
is a work in progress, so please, I welcome your suggestions and comments! Please share this newsletter with others, too!
Thank you for helping to make the world a better place! I'm at your side, cheering you on, I promise! Please have compassion for yourself and for others.
ellie
Encouraging Open Hearts and Thriving Human Spirits
Human Inspiration Works, LLC: We make "inclusion" an action word
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Ellen (Ellie) Krug
319-360-1692
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