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Modern brain science has turned the old idea of the separation of reason and emotion on its head. Not only are emotions intrinsically linked to rational thought, they often can improve our decision making – if we are able to listen to them.
Marc Brackett of Yale University, the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, has been on the forefront of emotional intelligence research for decades. He developed an evidence-based approach to infusing educational spaces with emotional intelligence, which he calls RULER – Recognize, Understand, Label, Express, and Regulate emotions.
One way that coaches can help students find a productive middle ground with emotions – neither shutting off from them nor becoming swamped by them – is to ask questions guided by the RULER approach, with the goal of helping the student move to a place where they have more access to effective decision making. As an example, consider a student who has come into a session angry about how an instructor is grading their work and blaming the instructor for their low performance. A coach might ask:
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What do you notice about how you are feeling right now? (Recognize)
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Describe the situation that is causing this emotion in you. (Understand)
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Think for a moment – what words would you use to specifically identify how you feel? How many emotions are at play here? (Label)
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How might you productively express your feelings to your instructor? What valued goal could this accomplish for you? (Express)
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How can you regulate this emotion so that you can devote more energy to learning and improving your performance? (Regulate)
Learn more about what coaching can do to heighten student self-knowledge and performance. Register below for LifeBound Coaching Classes & Coaching Certification.
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