Miss a music event because of a sick kid
As a mom, I missed out on plenty of things when someone in the family came down with a cold. There was the New Year’s Eve I cried when we had to cancel a fun evening we’d planned with another family because my daughter came down with strep throat (thank goodness no one else got it!). Or the holiday we couldn't visit the grandparents because one of the kids came down with a fever after going to a friend’s birthday party. Or the season we didn’t ski because the six-year old broke an arm on the jungle gym at school the week before February break.
Since I never get sick, I figured these missed opportunities were now a thing of the past.
But a Saturday caring for Marvin — running out to get a new heat lamp to keep him just the right temperature, taking time to feed him his medicine, checking the temperature in his enclosure every half and hour— and catching up on work from the missed afternoon before meant I completely forgot about the all-day outside porch festival in the town next door.
After a year and a half of no performances because of Covid, I was really looking forward to it, but with Marvin on my mind, it slipped my mind until I found an open tab in my browser with the schedule. The weather was gorgeous, too.
On the plus side, Marvin is looking a lot more lively tonight. He even seemed to smile, which makes me think it was worth it.
Love cats
I am not a cat person. Actually, I‘m not so fond of any pets with fur. So I was almost dreading being “stuck” with two middle-aged felines while my daughter was living in a dorm.
Although I “thought” I was a cat person when I was young, I have realized that I am not, for so many reasons: I don't think cats aren’t very interesting company; they don’t have much to talk about over dinner; they can’t tell me about the newest Netflix series they just found; they haven’t had any weird dreams lately; they are messy, and will never learn to pick up after or take care of themselves. They represent, in other words, the exact opposite of empty-nester freedom.
I’d always seen the cats as annoying - collateral damage that I put up with because I love my kids and my kids love them.
But with both kids gone, I have come to appreciate how nice it can be to have a warm, purring cat on my lap when I curl up to watch the Kominsky Method. They’ve stopped peeing outside the litter box long ago, and they don’t meow outside my bedroom door (it’s open, they still meowed) late at night, so that helps. And since I’m the only human around, they have kind of warmed to me, too. It’s not the same as having my interesting kids around to talk to, but it’s not bad either.
Send a ramen care package
I mailed said package the day after my daughter called me with her first college cold. It (her cold, not the package) was a bad one. Even if not Covid (she had two negative tests), it knocked her out for almost a week. There was so much delightful communication in the few days she was sick! Way more than in the entire month previous. It energized me, spurred me into action.
She doesn’t eat chicken soup or really any soup. I figured a care package was the best I could do to help her from 1,000 miles away. And yes, the package had a few other things in it, too: an L.L. Bean mug, a get-better card, some granola bars. But the primary ingredient was ramen — lots of ramen.
She got better, so it must have worked. I now know to never doubt the power of ramen to cure. And pulling together a true care package — filled with little surprises and ramen (ramen!) — felt nice, too. And an unprovoked phone call from her on a Sunday afternoon was... magical.
Think about staying in Boston
We moved to the greater Boston area from Toronto seven years ago because of the “great” public schools. But a month in, I wasn’t so sure it was a great move, after all. The schools, the parents, the other students, they’re all too intense, there’s too much pressure, too much competition, too much privilege. In my heart of heart, I knew I wanted Maine, not Massachusetts. But we didn’t want to move the kids to another state and another school, so we/I stuck it out.
I’ve always felt like Boston was a holding place until the kids graduated from high school and I could move up to Maine.
I never found a strong friend group, and I never warmed to the area. After five years, I am still definitely not in the “I love Boston” camp. But since I’m on my own in my empty nest, I find myself reconsidering. I love my job (which I couldn’t have found anywhere else), and even though I am mostly working remote, it’s nice to be able to pop into the office (which is super nice) once or twice a week.
It’s a great location in many ways. I’m only a few hours from my parents in Maine and twenty minutes from Logan airport. I still have a lot of Boston yet to explore. I can walk to two Starbucks, and New York City is only a three hour train ride.
I’m renovating the kitchen and bathrooms in our condo and my contractor says I will not want to leave once it’s done/. He may be right. Who knew?
Is it ironic (or just human nature) that with less to force me to stay in the area, I feel less inclined to leave?
I'm looking forward to seeing what my empty nest has in store for me next!
