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Let's start at the beginning, when fear pops up.
At its core, fear is simply a thought. It's not us or our identity, it's temporary: the brain trying to protect us from some real or imagined stimuli.
We can begin by meeting (even welcoming) fearful thoughts with curiosity and kindness. This can look like bringing attention to both the specific thoughts arising and any accompanying sensations in the body. What does this feel like now, what are the messages underneath it, and how can you bring kindness and compassion to what's here? What might you discover? How could you self-soothe in a health-giving way to stabilize yourself?
This leads to the first few antidotes: love, connect, and move.
Bringing forward a loving presence for ourselves. This isn't anything we need to strive for or earn. We are love. Fear can help us remember and return to the love that we innately are (sometimes multiple times a day). For those spiritually inclined, it can also help to remember that we are always loved by an infinite Higher Power (or whatever term you might use).
Connect can be multifold. This is connecting with ourselves, connecting with others, and connecting with a Higher Power. Basically reminding ourselves of the peace and power within, and external resources - human, animals, and spiritual - that we have available to us. It's only when we give ourselves the opportunity to pause (rather that attempting to push away the fear) that we remember, and tap in. Here we can be reminded of our strengths, past successes in moving through challenges, and obtain different perspectives for viewing the situation.
Move is moving the body in some way. Especially if we're feeling stuck and frozen. Stretching, yoga poses, bouncing up and down, shaking yourself off like a duck out of water, dancing to whatever music inspires you to move, walking (ideally outside), and other physical activities of choice. This can shift us toward feeling more regulated and to a place where we gain clarity.
Addtional antidotes are create and act.
Create is a big umbrella. It can start with activities like writing, painting, or drawing (even doodling). It could be making music, singing or songwriting, poetry, haiku, or choreographing dance moves. Mind-mapping. Building something whether with a formal kit or puzzle, or using mediums like clay, collage, ink stamps, scrapbooking or adult coloring books. Getting inspiraton from what others have created: visiting art galleries or unique gift shops, neighborhoods with cool architecture, sculpture parks, gardens. Watching TED Talks. Reading biographies. It can even come from being in nature and notice what exists on and out of the ground, in bodies of water, and in the sky.
Act is choosing an action to take and following through with it. It doesn't need to be a huge leap: a simple step forward counts. Any of the above antidotes can lead you to a next step. Let go of whether it's the best action: the point is to move ahead with what feels most right now, and trust that any needed redirection later is normal and will happen along your journey. It can help to remember that commercial airplanes are off course 90 - 98% of the time during a flight. Natural forces require the aircraft to make near-continuous micro-corrections to maintain its path. What if you brought this mindset to your habit change approach?
What antidotes will you test out the next time fear raises its head?
Remember that fear and its associated discomfort can also be a sign of growth. With that thought, I'll leave you with this quote from David Kasneci:
'Growth is not meant to feel comfortable to your nervous system or safe to your old identity; it's meant to reveal the truth that safety lives within you, not in your circumstances, and you are safe in your growth, expansion, and evolution."
Image by Sasin Tipchai on Pixabay.
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