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I am pleased to announce the reprinting (and slightly edited) version of Attitude Reconstruction.
It includes a revised "action" chapter, full Blueprints on the inside front and back cover, and little futzes here and there. Available, signed, sealed, and delivered for only $15.00 (includes tax.).
Great for these times for all those special people in your life!
Food art: De Meal Prepper - Jolanda Stokkermans
Praise for AR and the newsletter.
"Great and fortifying work as always."
Greetings dear ones,
There are plenty of cartoons this month. "Enough" is a popular, yet detrimental, way of viewing the world. But hey, in addition to offering some practical suggestions for how to work on this black-and-white thinking, with all the stuff that's going on, we all need some extra chuckles. Enjoy!
But first, here are some articles and videos for your enjoyment and/or edification.
A Few Articles
For what it's worth.... Based on an Indonesian hospital study, having vitamin D levels of greater than 30ng/ml decreased Covid-19 deaths in hospitalized patients from 98% down to 4% From this second reliable source comes this vitamin advice: A combination of vitamin D3, zinc, and vitamin C can reduce the risk of catching the Covid-19 virus.
Here's a new Dr. Mac song for the whole family during these Covid-19 times. Dr. Mac is local psychologist, Don MacMannis.
Most all black and white cartoons borrowed from Cartoonbank.
|Not Enough Stuff
Do you feel like you're never enough? That there's never enough time? Money? Friends? Great opportunities? Recognition? Do you believe if you had or did something else -- got married, earned more, were thinner, danced better, or had more time -- you'd finally relax and feel okay? Do you believe more is better? Are you rarely satisfied? Do you feel deprived, unworthy, or anxious no matter how hard you try or what you do? Do you secretly measure everything against an invisible standard and come up lacking?
If you answer "yes" to any of these questions, you are not alone. The price you pay for being stuck in "not enough" thinking is that you are engaged in a never-ending struggle, reaching for more to appease restlessness and affirm your self-worth. Your tendency to constantly measure what comes your way leaves you feeling unfulfilled, inadequate, or dissatisfied.
A "not enough" attitude is something we develop by comparing ourselves to what we see around us. It is triggered by the messages we receive from our caretakers, family members, peers, and the media. We are by nature outwardly focused and consequently tend to judge ourselves and our lives. It's easy to lose sight of the reality that what we have is what we have. We need to find a way to be satisfied with that.
|The Cost of a "Not Enough" Attitude
"Not enough" thinking seeps into three distinct areas: how we view ourselves, other people and situations, and time. Thinking about ourselves we chant, "I'm not good enough," or "I'm not doing enough." Thinking about other people and things we recite, "What's coming my way isn't enough," or "You're not enough." And when thinking about time, our familiar refrain is, "There's never enough time."
Having this scarcity mindset, keeps us wanting and never satisfied. To change and move out of this deep-seated attitude we must do some inner work. Depending on our particular "not enough" stuff, we must rigorously focus on what enriches us, see the good in others and situations, and learn to enjoy what we possess right now.
* If you feel as if you are not enough: Shift your focus to accept who you are, what you have, or what you've been given right now.
* If you think what is presented in the outside world isn't enough: Look for the good and accept and appreciate people, things, and situations, the way they are.
* If it seems like the timing should be different: Relax and accept this moment and find the positive in the present.
| How To Change "Not Enough" Thinking
Being that "not enough" thinking is so insidious, it's going to take a full frontal assault to neutralize its power. That means rigorously identifying and interrupting your constant labeling when it arises. A good place to start is to write down your particular spin on "not enough."
Once you have identified your destructive thinking in these three areas, choose statements from below that correspond with your "not enough" stuff. You might need a phrase for each focus -- yourself, others and the world, and time. Now you will have a complete list of truths to combat all your "not enough" thinking.
For a focus on yourself
* My presence is enough.
* I am good enough.
* I've done enough.
* My life is enough.
* I am fully satisfied with myself.
For a focus on other people and situations
* This is enough.
* I have enough.
* My friends are enough.
For a focus on time
* Enjoy the moment.
* I have enough time.
* There is enough time.
Write down the ones that apply to you.
Now you're ready to change your old thinking. When in the course of life, you find yourself in your old "not enough" thinking, immediately replace it with your new thought.
A necessary powerful tool to accelerate this process is to select one statement and repeat it over and over. Do this like a meditation, focusing on the words and ignoring all of the interrupting thoughts that seek to sabotage you. I suggest you set a timer and repeat your phrase out loud in two-minute blocks, or longer. (The ideal is five two-minute blocks at a sitting.) Repeat this exercise at least twice a day.
Making the transition to having enough, being enough, and doing enough may take a while. With each interruption of the old and repetition of the new, you'll feel the sweet taste of success. Victory will be yours!
|The Benefits of Finding Enough
The biggest bonus in your endeavor to rid yourself of this black and white thinking is that you will experience much more contentment. Your attention shifts to appreciating what is already here and who you already are.
This doesn't mean you don't speak up when you disagree, you just do it without a not-enough attitude.
You feel more empowered because you become fully satisfied with yourself and more accepting of what you and others say and do - recognizing we're all unique human beings doing our best. And finally, you'll be more able to enjoy life and marvel at
How can I stop insisting on having my way?
What I call "selfishness" is one of the four core attitudes associated with anger. Being egotistical, narcissistic, or stubborn indicates you believe your needs and views are more important than others'. First and foremost, I'd suggest you find a way to constructively channel your anger physically.
Work on minimizing your superiority thinking by repeatedly saying "Your viewpoints and needs are as important as mine".
Or, when you are getting ready to bully others into your way of thinking, strap some duct tape (imaginary) on your lips and start to listen, understand, and acknowledge the other person's position. Then you can work together to find solutions, which will bring you feelings of connection. Or lastly, consciously practice surrendering your own desires for what's best for the other person or the overall situation.