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1 (855) 894-5658
April 2023
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ERICSHOUSE
April Newsletter
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Dear EricsHouse Community,
Welcome to April 2023! April comes for the Latin word aperire which means "to open." This month shall we aim to be open to the various possibilities in life. Ground yourself in the present while being attune to your feelings, thoughts, or ideas that come forth. The flowers and trees open to bloom in the sunlight. Similarly, may we bloom and grow through any darkness.
-EricsHouse
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A Letter from our Founder
Marianne Gouveia
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Transforming you Grief
I was privileged to speak with my good friend Caro Brookings once again, a Suicide Bereavement Coach. Our topic for this session was “From Suicide Loss to Purpose.” I understand how difficult it is to rise from ashes after a traumatic loss. The death of someone we love jolts our identity and most likely changes our world view. We ask ourselves “who am I now? And it often raises existential questions about the mysteries of life and death.
At EricsHouse, we encourage people to recognize that everyone responds differently to the loss experience, and by understanding why and what you are feeling, you can better navigate your journey. And when you are ready, you can begin to start writing the next chapter of your life.
Here are some suggestions that I learned from my mentor, Dr. Alan Wolfelt from the Center for Loss and Life Transition in Ft. Collins, CO.
- Everyone had hidden talents. These might be things you do well, or things that you learn quickly and want to learn more about. Reflect on what these talents might be as you consider your next steps in life.
- Considering all of your life’s experiences, what do you believe “needs doing” in today’s world? How can you contribute to that?
- If you were gifted $1M dollars that had to be used for a cause, what would you do with that gift and who would you serve?
I also encourage you to get in touch with what truly gives you joy in life. This seems like a tall order. But just like being present to our pain and sorrow, we must also be present to our happiness and joy. For me, I look for those things that give me a sense of peace and a feeling of well-being.
If you can take 10 minutes to sit quietly to reflect on those experiences in life that make your heart happy. Maybe it is hiking, or cooking, or cloud-gazing (my favorite), or fresh sheets on the bed – whatever it is reflect upon how they make you feel. Finally, make a list, and think about the common themes, powerful messages, or surprises you may find.
Here is one final but very powerful question: If you were asked to write a screenplay for a movie about something that moves you, what would you write?
Much Love,
Marianne Gouveia
Founder and Chairman
"From Suicide Loss To Purpose: Rewire Your Brain And Discover Your Purpose After Losing Your Loved One To Suicide So You Can Finally Find Your Inner Peace" will take place between May 8 and May 12. For more information about Caro visit, suicidebereavementcoaching.com/
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Our Love is Alive
by Jackie Cole
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For the last year and a half, I have fought hard against the reality of living without my son…our family’s New Normal.
I still fight the truths of learning to connect with Stuart in a changed way…of building a vastly different relationship with him.
As a member of the Eric’s House community, I know that I am not alone in my desire to find a way forward in this changed life… to feel as if I’m on solid ground, heading toward a meaningful future, creating a new purpose and identity.
For the last year-and-a-half, I have often been despairing and desperate to find an answer to the relentless question, “What am I going to do with all of this pain?”
Tragically, the pain in my broken heart will always be. But recently, I’ve chosen to shift my perspective. I can choose to allow my love for my son to continue to inspire my life.
I now ask myself, “How will I share all of this love?” I’m quite sure the answer lies in sharing my gifts, talents and skills with others.
Stu was an artist who expressed his talents through dance and barbering. He intuitively knew that many people ache to be seen and heard as well as to present the best version of themselves. As such, he passionately created an exceptional experience for hair clients and dance partners alike.
My son’s kind heart will continue to brighten the world as I mindfully go about my day remembering him in similar kindnesses that I offer to others.
The gaping, Stuart-sized hole in my heart will be filled over time as I choose to share my love for him.
His legacy will continue - not as my son who died but as my son who lives in my heart.
In this spirit, I am looking forward to sharing stories of hope from inspirational loss survivors. Individuals who are intentionally growing in new relationships with their loved ones…keeping love alive.
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Sibling Grief by Greg Eckerman |
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As a grieving parent, I’m not sure I can fully understand the grief of losing a sibling.
But I have some observations to share:
- Children often suppress their grief in an attempt to protect their parents from the sadness of losing a child.
- As a society, we often try to distract younger kids from grief in the belief that we are protecting them . . . but as Alan Wolfelt says: ‘any child old enough to love is old enough to grieve.’
- As parents, we had a life before our children came into it. We have a basis for comprehending a life without the child we’ve lost, as painful as that is. When a child loses a sibling, it is very likely that they have no frame of reference for life without that brother or sister. They implicitly believe that their sibling would always be in their lives. Whether they were getting along or not, they would grow older in connection . . . marriages, their children, family gatherings would always unite them. Their ‘ripple-effect’ losses of identity, security, and sense of place can be profound.
- As difficult as it is for adults to find a safe space to learn to mourn and heal, it is much harder for young people. Their friends often have no experience of loss and their friends’ parents may try to distance their kids from that pain. Young people in grief are often prone to extreme isolation.
- For losses to substance abuse or suicide, siblings often carry similar burdens of guilt, shame, anger, and regret that we, as parents, experience. Losses to self-harm and despair can also inspire misguided ideas of making similar choices.
None of us can be protected from our grief. To heal, we don’t need protection, we need safe space to learn to mourn. The only way to move beyond our grief is to go through it – the same is true for children who have lost a sibling. As parents, we have a duty to teach our surviving children that mourning is healing . . . and model how to do it. They don’t necessarily need to mourn with their parents, that may be too difficult – especially in early grief. But they need the connection and safe space of trusted companions on their grief journey as much as their parents do.
We have adult sibling survivors in several EricsHouse support groups. I love the context and nuance sibling survivors have brought into our Men’s Groups – we are much better for it. I hope that our outreach and continued recommendations from clients who are survivors of sibling loss allows us to further grow that support.
For younger kids, we have a sister organization in Peoria, AZ called
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Enlightened Men -
Interview with Melinda Vail
and Greg Eckerman
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YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS! Save the date. Beginning April 14 at 8am MST you can bid on EXCITING items including an all inclusive escape to Antigua for two, private cooking classes, New York Fashion Week insider experience, golf packages, and SO MUCH MORE.
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UPCOMING VIRTUAL
GRIEF SUPPORT GROUPS:
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- July 12: Substance Use Loss Group for Mothers who lost a child
- July 17: Co-ed Group for Individuals who lost their Partner or Spouse to Suicide
- July 18: LGBTQIA+ Support Group for Individuals who lost a loved one to suicide, alcohol, or overdose
- July 18: Suicide Loss Group for Mothers who lost a child
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EMMAUS Ministry for Grieving Parents is a unique ministry that serves the spiritual needs of grieving parents.
We focus on the promise of eternal life and the rich teachings of our faith to help these terribly broken parents. We ask questions such as:
- Where is God in my pain?
- Where is my child right now?
- Why do I feel abandoned by God?
- How could God let this happen?
The retreat is offered by grieving parents who have lost children of their own. We provide an opportunity for parents to gather in a sacred, warm, and compassionate space with others who know their pain. Many parents find peace and comfort, at least for a time. All faiths are welcome.
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Donate your car, truck, motorcycle, RV, or boat to EricsHouse by simply clicking the button and completing the form. Car Easy will reach out to you to arrange the pick-up of your vehicle donation, at no cost to you. You may qualify for a tax deduction while supporting a cause that is near and dear to your heart! |
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EricsHouse Inc.
1 (855) 894-5658
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