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1 (855) 894-5658
June 2022
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ERICSHOUSE
June Newsletter
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Dear EricsHouse Community,
Welcome to June 2022! The beautiful photo above evokes a sense of peace and stillness. Life throws many challenges, hardships, and curveballs. As we learn to go with ebbs and flows, be sure to take moments to cultivate calmness. In the midst of whatever chaos you might face, remember how strong you are. Allow yourself to take breaks and spend time doing activities that make you feel centered.
-EricsHouse
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A Letter From Our Founder
Marianne Gouveia
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Dear Friends,
In the wake of the recent school shooting in Uvalde, I can’t help but hold the grief-stricken families in the Uvalde community in my prayers. I cannot imagine what it was like for those families as they waited for the devastating news that their child had died. And in the aftermath, I can’t imagine the anguish and uncertainty they face as they learn to live with the loss of their children who have perished by a school shooter.
I know all too well the chaos, the pain, the sorrow, the despair that we as bereaved parents feel as we say goodbye to our children. We sit for a long while in a state of numbness and shock until we eventually acknowledge a new reality – life without our precious child. For our Uvalde parents, and for all parents whose kids were victims of school shootings, on behalf of the EricsHouse team, we are truly very sorry for your loss.
Please know that eventually, the sharp edges of our pain do wear down, slowly but surely. I like to use the analogy of sea glass, bottles and jars that have been carelessly thrown onto the shore, that is then gently tumbled by the ocean waves and the sand. What remains is a rare gem with a beautiful frosty finish and soft, rounded edges – created by man but refined by nature. Somehow, we survive our brokenness.
My teacher and mentor, Dr. Alan Wolfelt, Director for the Center for Loss and Life Transition, shares his article on “Coping with Your Grief After the Uvalde Murders”. While I know there truly are no words to describe the pain felt after the loss of a child, Dr. Wolfelt shares his insights on how to survive after these devastating losses.
Much Love,
Marianne Gouveia
Founder & Chairman
EricsHouse
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Coping with Your Grief Over the Uvalde Murders
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
Uvalde, Texas, is grieving. America is grieving. A single man has committed a crime of unimaginable violence, taking the lives of at least 21 people—19 of them children—and now an entire country is bereft.
Whether you live near Uvalde or far away, whether you personally know someone connected to the tragedy or not, you are probably grieving. Because you have empathy, you are grieving on behalf of the families whose loved ones were so senselessly taken from them. In addition, you may be experiencing a loss of a sense of safety for your own family and others you care about. You may have lost a sense of goodness in the world. You might also have lost trust or pride in your country or community. You are also probably wrestling with why this happened, as well, and your search for answers is part of your grief.
As the Director of the Center for Loss & Life Transition, please know that your grief is normal and necessary. In these early days, you are likely to feel numbed by shock and disbelief. This is nature’s way of protecting us from acknowledging the full reality of a terrible loss all at once. You may be struggling with anger, helplessness, sadness, despair, and other emotions as well, especially now, at a time when other worldwide events are already stressing everyone’s mental health.
Whatever you are feeling, it’s OK. Your feelings are not right or wrong—they simply are. Accepting your emotions and finding constructive ways to express them, bit by bit, day by day, are how you can best work through your grief.
If you find yourself thinking and talking about the violent act, this is also normal. Trying to understand what happened is what our minds often do. If this is true for you, the ongoing process of learning more about what happened and discussing the shooting with others will likely help you begin to survive this difficult time.
If, however, as a result of the murders you find yourself battling with nightmares or insomnia, paralyzing fears about the deaths, panic attacks, or other severe symptoms, you may be struggling with traumatic grief, which is a close cousin to post-traumatic stress, or PTS. If this is true for you, please talk to your family doctor or therapist about the intensity of your response. They can help you manage your most disabling symptoms and find ways to continue functioning day to day.
Over time and with the support of others, your grief can be integrated into your life. The key to getting through this terrible time is expressing your inner grief outside of yourself. This is called mourning. Ways to mourn include talking about your thoughts and feelings with others, crying, journaling, writing condolence cards to the families directly affected, participating in an online support group, praying or other spiritual practices, making art, helping others in your community, and anything that helps you feel like you are sharing or demonstrating your thoughts and feelings in some way. Active, ongoing mourning gives your grief movement and is the process through which you will eventually reconcile your grief.
I especially encourage you to reach out to others. We as human beings need personal contact. When we are grieving, we also need emotional support. So I urge you to use this difficult time to build relationships. Talk openly and honestly with the people in your home and be as empathetic as you can. Stay connected as much as possible and be open and honest in those communications about whatever it is you are feeling or struggling with at the moment. Your candor will encourage others to be honest as well, creating the opportunity for mutual support and kindness. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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About the Author
Dr. Alan Wolfelt is an author and educator on the topic of healing in grief. He serves as Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition and is a past recipient of the Association of Death Education and Counseling’s Death Educator Award. Dr. Wolfelt has written many compassionate, bestselling books in an effort to help people mourn well so they can continue to love and live well, including Healing Your Traumatized Heart.
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EricsHouse is now located in
R & R Law Group Suites
in Scottsdale, AZ.
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EricsHouse is embarking on a new chapter. Our growth has exploded all over the United States and into Canada and the UK. While the bad news is that there is such a demand for our services, the good news is that EricsHouse remains a trusted resource to help people through their most devastating losses. Since the majority of our services are being conducted virtually, we have decided to relocate to a smaller space where we can see clients locally while we continue to support you virtually.
Throughout the summer, we will continue to offer new programs both virtually and in-person that will include workshops and retreats, group support, and other services that we feel can help you along on your journey of healing. We are looking forward to in-person meetings starting in July. More details to follow soon!
Thank you all so very much for your continued support.
With Love,
The EricsHouse Team
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New Upcoming Virtual Support Group
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Our virtual support group is open to LGBTQ+ loss survivors who have lost their spouse or life partner to suicide. This group is Co-ed. We will meet every other Saturday via Zoom from July 16 until November 5 from 11:00 AM – 12:30 PM MST.
Pre-registration is required! To see if this is the right group for you contact Kim Hamilton at [email protected].
Once you have joined the group you will receive a book and journal. There is a $45.00 charge to cover the cost of materials. Scholarships are available.
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Our support groups offer a safe place for people to share their journey after the loss of their loved one. Our groups are organized to support you no matter where you are in your journey. Learning about the grieving process is an important part of healing and learning from others can assist you in understanding your own journey.
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SAVE THE DATE!
10/8/22 Hope & Healing
Virtual Fundraiser
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Get ready for an afternoon of hope, healing, and celebration as we honor those we’ve lost and bring together our loss survivors who are once again finding joy and happiness in their lives. We have special guests and events slated throughout the afternoon that are both fun but also heart-warming as we hear stories from some of our clients. Our goal is to raise $100K so that we can continue to support people who feel alone in their grief and have nowhere to turn. No father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, friend, or relative should ever have to face devastating loss alone.
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Join EricsHouse as we participate in the Water Lantern Festival on Saturday, November 12 from 2:30 until 7pm at Kiwanis Lake in Tempe. Located at 5203 South Ash Avenue Tempe, AZ 85283
We have 15 early-bird price tickets available for $36 (day of tickets add up to $65). Purchase yours today!
There will be food trucks and other vendors. Picnics are welcome.
Lanterns are decorated by us, the participants, to remember loved ones. Lanterns are made of rice paper and wood and the event commits to cleaning up the park. Funds support clean water access around the world.
“For me, the journey of grief has involved release and acknowledgement. I have wanted and needed to release emotions like anger and resentment, while acknowledging love and hope. The Tempe Lantern Festival offers a personal experience by way of decorating a lantern. I wrote messages to my loved ones who have passed. At the same time, it allowed a shared understanding that grief and loss touches every life. Through EricsHouse, we are shown that we are not alone. The Tempe Lantern Festival is another opportunity to experience that. To launch (release) my own lantern and then step back and see so many others helped in my healing. It reminded me to breathe. It allowed me to grieve. It let me honor those who have passed before me.” -Beloved EricsHouse Client
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Donate your car, truck, motorcycle, RV, or boat to EricsHouse by simply clicking the button and completing the form. Car Easy will reach out to you to arrange the pick-up of your vehicle donation, at no cost to you. You may qualify for a tax deduction while supporting a cause that is near and dear to your heart!
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EricsHouse Inc.
1 (855) 894-5658
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