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1 (855) 894-5658
October 2022
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ERICSHOUSE
October Newsletter
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Dear EricsHouse Community,
Welcome to October 2022! The holidays are approaching, the upcoming months can be an especially challenging time for loss survivors. Traditions look and feel different. This month we encourage you to show yourself compassion and honor your loved one in ways that feel right to you. You are not alone.
-EricsHouse
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A Letter From Our Founder-
Marianne Gouveia
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GIVING AND RECEIVING – ARE THEY THE SAME?
"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts,
then there is no hurt, but only more love."
-- Mother Teresa
This morning, as I am preparing for October 8th, our fundraiser in honor of World Mental Health Month, I was listening to one of the many speakers and EricsHouse member testimonials. I am so touched by the work the EricsHouse team is doing, and so privileged to be part of this amazing project. The energy between use flows smoothly between our giving and our receiving. I am discerning the real differences between the two. Are they the same? Do they evoke the same feelings in us, the same feelings of worth and well-being? Can you really give without receiving something special in return?
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Last October, I wrote about an amazing organization, Mother’s Grace, who showed me that allowing myself to be a vulnerable “receiver” of love and support created such a deep feeling of well-being. Since I am mostly a “giver” this was a beautiful life experience and a lesson well learned.
I have found that when you give of yourself, your time or your treasure, you find meaning in your life. Our lives seem more abundant and full. And, I have learned that we are all here to heal ourselves. We talk often about grief and love being two sides of the same coin. The more you love, the more vulnerable you become to grief, giving and receiving are similar, they are two sides of the same coin.
EricsHouse is set apart because our caring is real and it is unconditional. We love and care for each and everyone of our members. And in helping others heal, we also heal as we work to find greater joy, inspiration, and satisfaction even after devastating loss. We give through caring, sharing, loving, through being good listeners when others are facing their greatest fears and living in their darkest moments. And through our caring, we save many lives for people struggling to find a way through their darkness.
My wish for all of us is that we be as generous as we can in our giving on October 8th so that we can continue with our work. Every time we assist another we are also renewed and strengthened. This is the blessing of the heart.
Bound together by tears, we receive love and support and we give love and support to people who desperately need help. Please consider making a donation to that we can ensure that our families and individuals have a safe space to do the important work of healing.
Much Love,
Marianne Gouveia,
Chairman, Co-Founder
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Virtual Fundraiser 10/8
Noon-4pm AZ time (3-7pm EDT)
Please join EricsHouse for an afternoon of health & wellness, special guest speakers, and stories of hope and healing. This program is designed to support anyone impacted by a suicide, alcohol, or drug overdose loss. We have guests and events slated throughout the afternoon that are both fun but also heart-warming as we hear stories from some of our clients. Our goal is to raise $100k so that we can continue to support people who feel alone in their grief and have nowhere to turn. No father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, friend, or relative should ever have to face devastating loss alone.
RAFFLE TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE NOW! Winners announced on 10/8. We have some exciting prizes such as...
- A Kendra Scott jewelry & book bundle
- Snack attack treat baskets
- A David Flitner painting
- Gourmet chocolate & wine basket
- A day at Bartlett Lake
- Relax & Restore Spa Baskets
- Lunch & Learn Cooking Class with Jan D'Atri
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What Does Reconciliation Mean?
by Greg Eckerman
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When we talk about grief as a journey it highlights the need to understand two key things about ourselves:
- Where we are right now
- Where we hope to go
Alan Wolfelt describes the objective of our personal grief journey, where we hope to go, as Reconciliation.
In our current Men’s Group we are trying to explore what Reconciliation means for each of us. It is opening up fascinating conversations centered around self-examination and self-discovery.
Reconciliation is a multifaceted concept, much like grief. We know that grief affects all of us in 5 broad ways:
- Emotionally
- Cognitively
- Physically
- Socially
- Spiritually
Reconciliation has aspects in each of those categories.
EMOTIONALLY. We are shattered by our losses. The emotional aspect of reconciliation is about finding ways to integrate our loss into our lives and the development of new versions of ourselves. We understand that the pain of our losses will always be with us, but we find ways to soften the edges – we learn to ‘flip the coin’ and see the love behind the pain.
COGNITIVELY. We can get so lost in the ‘whys?’ of our losses that we get stuck there. Cognitive reconciliation is about acknowledging the reality of our loss and accepting the fact that our loved ones will not physically be with us. It is another facet of integration that allows us to begin our personal reconstruction.
PHYSICALLY. Physical reconciliation is the process of shifting focus to allow us to take care of our physical needs whether that means breathwork, returning to exercise, improving our diets, or just reengaging with the physical world around us.
SOCIALLY. In the wake of our losses we often lose connections with those around us. The losses EricsHouse members experience can be stigmatized. People in our lives may push us to ‘get back to normal’ or not be able to accept that the only normal available to us will be different from the old normal. Social reconciliation is about forming new connections or repairing old ones that support our grief in healthy ways. It means accepting that we cannot do this alone.
SPIRITUALLY. Grief is fundamentally a spiritual journey, reconstructing our identity, revitalizing our divine spark . . . or realizing that we have one, and recalibrating on our place in the universe. Whether we have a formal religious framework in our lives, a general sense of spirituality, or are struggling with the concept of a higher power our losses expose us to the question of ‘what comes next?’ Reconciliation may include connecting or reconnecting with our higher power, it may focus on belief that our loved ones continue to exist as themselves in a non-physical form, or simply opening to the great central question of our existence.
This journey does not end. Reconciliation is not a destination, it is a state of mind and a way of being. I believe, at its heart, it is an abiding sense of gratitude for the love that we have in our lives.
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A Poem Written By A Loss Survivor -
Carolyn Lane Van Ness
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Shortly after my 18 year old son took his own life, his high school reached out to our family and asked if we wanted to add something to a memorial story about our son that would be published in the school newspaper.Somehow, from the depths of my grief, the words of this poem flowed through me with no effort on my part. It felt like a healing gift from beyond for everyone who knew and loved my son.
LIVE IN PEACE AGAIN
IN LOVING MEMORY OF CRAIG LANE
No why’s, no what if’s
Should have’s, could have’s,
These are all for naught.
Life’s journey is our struggle
So lessons can be taught.
The why’s, the what if’s,
Should have’s, could have’s,
Bind you tight in pain.
So reach out to each other
And live in joy again.
There is One God in each of us
We pray you find him there.
Here and beyond our souls are linked
In everything we share.
Being One yet separate
we can ease another’s pain.
So reach out to each other
And live in peace again.
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EricsHouse is partnering with
OnMyMind Foundation!
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Can we change the National Family Care Act by Valerie Pugliese
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Hello Friends:
In August of 2017, my mom passed peacefully at home with me. I went back to work after a week since the bereavement act only gives you 3 day’s paid leave. I went on my 1st client appointment, but I could not finish the day. I remember getting in my car and calling the appointment desk crying uncontrollably. I told them that my mom had just died a few days ago and that I needed more time. I ended up taking a full month of unpaid leave, but it was still not enough time.
On March 1, 2022, I lost my son Garrett to suicide. Once again, I found myself unable to work or deal with the outside world, and because I knew that this journey was a long one, I felt disability would be the only way I could avoid a financial crisis. This time, I knew what to do and how to play the game. But at what cost? In today’s world, good counselors are hard to come by, and doctors send you directly to a psychiatrist for medication. Being completely traumatized – not able to eat, sleep, or even think straight, I fear I will go into a financial crisis. I am forced to take medication that I don’t want to take, but if I don’t take it, it is unlikely that I could get a disability.
It is hard enough dealing with all of the decisions you have to make when someone dies. Grief is a very powerful emotion and can take months if not years to recover. No one should be forced to take medication just to make other people happy or to work the system. All of this can be avoided if we work together to amend the FAMILY ACT H.R. 804/S. 248 to include Bereavement.
The Family Act provides workers with up to 12 weeks of partial income when they take time off for their own serious health, including pregnancy and childbirth recovery; the serious health condition of a child, parent or spouse or domestic partner. They give you 12 weeks when you bring a person into the world but only 3 days when a person leaves.
I need HELP. I want to take action but I can’t do it alone. If you are interested in supporting efforts to amend the Family Act, I would love to hear from you. And if you have experience in this area, please reach out because I could use any guidance you can impart.
If you are interested in helping REPLY to this email. Thank you!
Sincerely,
Valerie Pugliese, Garrett’s Mom
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Holiday Virtual Support Groups for Parents Who Have Suddenly
Lost a Child
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This group is open to parents or couples who have lost a child to suicide, substance abuse, homicide, illness or any sudden loss.
Grieving the loss of someone you love is difficult at any time of year. During the holiday season, we often experience intense emotions surrounding our loss. It seems impossible that the world is celebrating, but for those grieving, a sense of loneliness and sadness can overshadow the holiday. Traditional holiday celebrations might feel very triggering and it might feel like we want to avoid the holiday altogether.
This group will provide you with support and helpful tips on how to survive. We will discuss your loved one, our emotions, how to handle family and triggering events, and will provide options for navigating family and social events. It’s important to know that you aren’t alone, and you can survive the holiday season in a way that allows you to be comfortable and to honor your grief and remember your loved one in ways that are helpful to you.
- Every other Thursday from October 27 to January 5. This group is for those who live in Mountain and Pacific time zones.
- Every other Thursday from November 3 to January 12. This group is for those who live in East & Central Time Zones.
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The Healing Power of
Breathwork Series
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We are excited to introduce NEW monthly segments about the Healing Power of Breathwork presented by Dr. Kathleen Rickard & Greg Eckerman. Click the video to find out how breathwork can help heal & provide a sense of peace!
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Grief is hard to navigate no matter what time of the year it is. The Holidays can be even more difficult. After suddenly losing a loved one the vision and ideas one has for the future completely change. Often times loss survivors experience intense emotions. Grief can affect the mind, body and soul.
Join us via Zoom for healing breathwork to connect with others and breathe through any feelings you may experiencing. Breathwork is a powerful tool to help with blood pressure, heart rate, immune system, emotional calm, sleep, memory, and well being.
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EricsHouse Tree of Life - A Way to Memorialize Your Loved Ones
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The Tree of Life is a custom art installation, created by local artists to help us remember our loved ones. This unique exhibit is displayed in the center of the EricsHouse facility on a 7′ x 11′ birch panel.
Our Tree of Life holds the names of people lost to suicide and substance abuse in the leaves on the tree. When you donate $100 in the name of your lost loved one, a personalized leaf will be placed on the tree as a lasting memorial. Only donations through the Tree of Life campaign will receive a leaf. Leaves may also be purchased for friends and family as a gift in their loved one’s honor.
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Donate your car, truck, motorcycle, RV, or boat to EricsHouse by simply clicking the button and completing the form. Car Easy will reach out to you to arrange the pick-up of your vehicle donation, at no cost to you. You may qualify for a tax deduction while supporting a cause that is near and dear to your heart!
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EricsHouse Inc.
1 (855) 894-5658
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