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For a long time, I thought I would never get sober. I lost any semblance of hope or confidence in myself. I felt like my whole life was a failure. I had no self-respect and no self-love. I was in the delusion that this was the only way for me to live. This disease held me hostage for far too long.
But when I started to do the work that treatment was showing me, Isoon realized that I was also holding myself hostage. The shame I lived in through knowing I’d hurt so many people around me kept me sick. The truth is that I was not unredeemable. When I became so exhausted with this suffocating misery and pain that was the all consuming storm of addiction, I decided I had nothing to lose and potentially everything to gain from going to treatment. I’d hesitated so long because I grew comfortable with my sick state of mind, which may seem insane to people who are not addicts. Anyone who is not an addict and is rational probably doesn't understand, but I wasn’t rational for nearly a decade.
Ultimately, I decided to get off methadone and heroin and went to detox, with the intent of going to treatment after. Detox was very difficult for me and I spent nearly a month detoxing from long-term methadone use, but if I can do it, anyone can. There is nothing exceptional about me that made it possible for me to do this, it was just some willingness and the gift of desperation. But not everyone has to hit rock-bottom to get clean. An addict can save themselves from a lot of pain by doing this as soon as the problem is realized.
In treatment I learned that I’m a good person, but I have a disease. I did bad things, hurt other people and hurt myself, but figured out it’s never too late for addicts to fix themselves. The hope I never thought I’d have again returned, and I started my journey. It felt miraculous to find that there is a solution. I’m not writing this to convince anyone they can only get well through using the 12 steps, but I will tell you they worked for me and have worked for my friends in recovery. I’ve found out they are the only thing that could save my soul, in a manner of speaking. I started to find out who Kurt really was, and the reality is that I never had any idea in this regard. I started to love myself again and gain a genuine connection with the people around me.
Some of the people I went through treatment with are now my best friends. It was a life changing experience. I won’t lie to you and tell you it was easy, but it was absolutely worth it. Now that I’m sober, my brain has recovered, and my spirit has mended.
I want to sincerely thank R2RCNY from the bottom of my heart for the opportunity to get my life together. The quality of care I received was exceptional and was entirely necessary for someone like me who had been so consumed by addiction. Treatment helped save me from a terrible disease. I can now say I have a great relationship with my family and friends, and I live by principles. I couldn’t have done it without the treatment R2RCNY allowed me to receive in Austin, Texas.
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