"Because of FLS, I found my faith--and myself--again."

“I used to never talk…I never looked people in the eye….My abuser wouldn’t let me work--he cut me off from everything. Around my abuser, I’d been hiding my Bible--when I got to FLS, I was able to see again.”



That any mom would speak these words is painful to imagine. But Stephanie’s bitter reality came to light during her interview for housing at FLS, when it became apparent to staff that this brave mom was in a dangerous situation. FLS immediately linked arms with TESSA, setting in motion a safety plan for Stephanie and her three daughters to leave her physically and emotionally abusive partner. Gaining an apartment at FLS was a rescue that ushered in a peace Stephanie hadn’t felt in years.

“Before my abuser, I’d been happy and capable. But I’d become a completely different person in order to survive. I changed because of him—I never spoke up. He’d use my ‘gaze’ to oppress me, so I was trained to never look people in the eye, out of fear.”

FLS gave Stephanie space to breathe and step by patient step restored her confidence as the dignified head of her household. Her true self emerged. Fear melted away. The faith she’d known as a child grew as in a greenhouse of grace. When she had doubts, fellow moms and trauma-informed staff redirected her. The roadblocks to her growth were many, Stephanie admits, and it often felt she was failing again. But, “the amount of grace FLS shows moms in the many ups and downs….the patience and time to figure things out when twists and turns happen….that grace built my faith.”

Each single mom at FLS receives a personal coach. Stephanie credits her coach, Jamie, for pointing her to the right Scripture when growth felt hard. “Jamie’s very wise. I felt like I was never being judged. She’s a good re-director, always helping me refocus when I was freaking out.”

Each single mom at FLS also connects in close community, gathering in group each Monday night. “You’re not alone,” reflects Stephanie. “You’re all in the same situation. Monday nights just fill you. They’re such a relief—a reset for each week no matter if you’re in a valley or on a mountain. I learned how much community matters.”

Stephanie’s now building community in her new home, where she’s recently launched into stable housing with her girls. By God’s grace, she lives next to another former FLS resident. Once a week, they form their own little ‘group,’ having learned from time together on campus the importance of community. “I have to have it in my life!” Both moms attend Women of Courage at FLS monthly, continuing the healthy pattern they learned as residents.

As for the scared woman who never talked and kept her gaze down? Through coaching and community, she’s learned the tools to break out of that oppression: “FLS brought out the old me. I found my independence and confidence to lead. I looked people in the eye, without fear. With my job, I learned how to budget my finances—I’d never done that before. Now I have a safety net in my savings, and my long-term goal is to own my own home.”

Being a single mom is still hard. FLS doesn’t take away the hard, but rather offers single moms the tools they need to face the hard with resilience. Stephanie, no longer in danger and delighted to share her story, feels equipped and free. Free to attend her church and to read her Bible at night after tucking her girls in bed, with no need to hide her flourishing faith. Free to use her voice to encourage other moms. Free to be herself and to build a new future.

“It’s the most rewarding thing I do all week, by far,” says Jim (pictured R). “God’s put me in this place, at this time, to do this,” explains Gary (L).



The priceless gift these 2 FLS superheroes give is currency too great to measure. Jim & Gary aren’t spending their retirement—they’re investing it, cheerfully solving all manner of maintenance issues on our 2-acre campus, from the mundane (wind-blown fences, leaking appliances, clogged drains) to the surprises that often arise amid families raising small children in old buildings (steadying a ceiling fan hit by too many balls). Most importantly, they represent to moms what a godly, kind, helpful man—a gentleman—looks like. Ours is a ‘No Man On Campus’ property, creating a safe refuge for many escaping domestic violence. Gary & Jim are an endearing exception, only entering moms’ apartments together or if the home is empty, and always displaying strength, compassion, & the love of Christ Himself. “I was raised by a single mom and had a pretty bad upbringing where I took care of myself,” explains Jim. “I enjoy, by the grace of God, being a man who can represent the ‘other side,’ a man of integrity the women feel safe around, who they can trust.”

Both Gary & Jim began volunteering after full careers, deploying a lifetime of problem-solving skills to keep our old buildings hospitable, safe places for families to call home. They serve tirelessly Mon/Wed, and—lucky us—Jim’s now a part-time employee. “As we get older and are retired, this is an opportunity to give back to our community,” Gary notes. “FLS is certainly a worthy place to donate your time. Part of what I enjoy is the chance to teach single moms, who in their childhoods never learned how to do certain things, what to do for basic fixes—empowering them with basic maintenance ‘life skills.’ You sense that you’re making a difference.”

They sure are. Both point out that the FLS campus is old & vast, requiring tender, loving care to keep things running amid its historic 1880’s house, former 1940’s-era Japanese internment schoolhouse-turned multi-unit dwelling, old boiler systems, & maintenance building that had become a messy haven of obsolete items (now an organizational heaven thanks to these two!). Although staff believe that ‘JARY,’ as the duo is affectionately called, has the Midas touch, Jim & Gary laugh about mishaps while ‘jerry-rigging’ (JARY-rigging?) their way through a challenge.

Of this Dream Team, Tonya Lark, Executive Director, beams, “Words can’t capture the difference these men are making. Our campus is beautiful but needy, so repairs come up all the time. These two just dive in and take care of it. Most importantly, moms feel seen and respected when their home repair issues are addressed quickly, by gentlemen. I’m beyond grateful for their investment here.” With deep gratitude, the FLS Team gives a hearty SHOUT OUT to ‘JARY,’ our Dynamic Duo!