Rainbow Days Training
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Fear is ...
"In the entire circle of the year there are no days so delightful as those of a fine October." 
~ Alexander Smith
 
For some, October is a welcomed month with the long, hot days of summer behind us and the hopeful reprieve of cooler weather ahead. Days authenticated through falling leaves displaying radiant colors and nights reflective through roaring fires manifesting healing properties. For others, due to Halloween, the month is known for its fright; for its fear.
 
"October was always the least dependable of months … full of ghosts and shadows."
~ Joy Fielding
 
Fear is frightening. Fear is exhilarating. Fear is debilitating. Fear is physical. Cathey Brown, Developer of the CBSG Program, recently asked during a Facilitator Training what fears the participants experience. Some shared about dreaded spiders and snakes. And, of course, most of us agree! What makes it hard for us to dive deeper and express our innermost fears? To help us navigate this question, let’s first look at what fear is.
 
Fear is our survival response,” says Northwestern Medicine Clinical Psychologist Zachary Sikora, PsyD. "Some people – roller coaster fans and horror movie buffs – thrive on it, while other people avoid it. Have you ever wondered why?" Emotional Health’s article, 5 Things You Never Knew About Fear, goes on to say, "fear is experienced in your mind, but it triggers a strong physical reaction in your body. As soon as you recognize fear, your amygdala goes to work. It alerts your nervous system, which sets your body’s fear response into motion. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are released. Your blood pressure and heart rate increase. You start breathing faster. Even your blood flow changes – blood actually flows away from your heart and into your limbs, making it easier for you to start throwing punches, or run for your life. Your body is preparing for flight-or-fight." Wow! As I read what happens to us when we experience fear, my body reacted in like fashion.
"Fear causes physiological changes and ultimately behavioral changes, such as fleeing, fighting, or freezing from perceived traumatic events." Ah, the “3 F’s” of our survival mode! Many of us familiar with these terms. Also, fear can be a reaction TO stressdistress, and, chronic, or toxic stress. (Here is a great article giving an overview of our body’s stress responses.)
 
Recently I was doing some research on our body’s stress “auto-alert” system for our virtual CBSG Program Facilitator Training. I wanted to make sure we were sharing the most up-to-date information for the chemical responses of our “survival mode.” Or, what is better known as our fight, flight, or freeze responses; our self-protective armor. I’d heard of multiple “f’s” to describe these responses, but I was surprised by what I found. Dr. Curtis Reisinger, a clinical psychologist at Zucker Hillside Hospital, told New York Magazine, the “'fight or flight' response to stress is oversimplified, and there are other ways humans have evolved to adapt to stress. The six responses to stress include:

  1. Fight: Fighting a threat
  2. Flight: Fleeing a threat
  3. Freeze: Freezing and not doing anything in response to a threat
  4. Flooding: Being flooded with emotions in response to a threat
  5. Fawn: Cooperating or submitting to one's threat or captor
  6. Fatigue: Feeling tired and/or sleeping in response to a threat"

I’m going to admit I had a HUGE, freeing “aha” moment reading this list. I never realized my fatigue and need for sleep is my go-to stress response. I’ve always felt guilty for having these needs and feelings. But, I’m normal! Or, better yet, I’m good the way I am.
 
It was much like when I first learned about Parental Discord (divorce, separation, abandonment) as a component of the Adverse Childhood Experiences research. My parent’s divorce stripped away my sense of security and family as fear seeped into my very core. It changed my life and person forever. Learning this component of the ACE Study empowered me to understand I am not alone. Sounds like a familiar Major Message from the CBSG Program, doesn’t it? It also validated my life experiences as being a child of divorce and the adult I’ve become. The effects of my parent’s divorce often center around some pretty big fears. Fear of trusting others. Fear of expressing my authentic and vulnerable feelings. Fear of acceptance for the person I am today. Fear of not being seen as worthy and valuable. Fear of being alone for the rest of my life. Yes, some big fears, for sure.
 
You may be surprised I identified one of my fears as sharing authentic and vulnerable feelings. Even as a public speaker and trainer, it is much easier for me to express myself more authentically through the written word. But, it’s still out of my comfort zone to share my fears. I share them to, hopefully, encourage you to open your door and begin by taking one small baby step out of your comfort zone.
 
Your fears may look very different than mine. There are certainly no right or wrong fears! Like our curriculum states about our feelings, all of our fears are okay. It’s what we do with our fears that is important. Fears can become phobias. Dana Dorfman, PhD, a clinical psychologist with New York University, says, "common fears are a byproduct of one or more of the following causes: evolution, genetics, learned behavior or trauma.There are two general categories of fears, Physical (heights, closed spaces, illness, spiders) and even more fears fall into the Emotional category (public speaking, abandonment, isolation, humiliation, shame, sadness). (To learn more, read Why So Many People Are Scared of These 10 Things.) 
 
It’s October and the time for Halloween, which is often surrounded by the emotion of fear. Now is a good time to reflect on how you typically react to fears? Do you run away from them, freeze in the midst of them, flock to others, or take a nap? In the midst of COVID-19, we may have experienced fears we never knew existed for us. Take some time to consider, contemplate, and evaluate where you are in your fears. And, take time to celebrate in this sweet season of October.
 
"I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers." 
~ L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Kathy Daley
Rainbow Days Training Manager
Virtual CBSG Program Facilitator Training


Kids’ Connection, Youth Connection, and Kids’ Connection, Too (collectively known as the CBSG® Program ) are unique, interactive, multi-cultural curriculum-based prevention interventions that teach high-risk children and youth ages 4-17 a set of essential life skills: skills to help them learn how to cope with difficult family situations (which include Adverse Childhood Experiences), resist negative peer pressure, set and achieve goals, and refuse alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. 

This training is designed to fully prepare schools, community-based organizations, churches, juvenile justice divisions, volunteers, and other youth service professionals to fully implement the CBSG Program with fidelity. 

Those completing this training will receive their choice one of the CBSG Program Facilitator manuals:
  • Kids’ Connection for ages 4-12 in Schools and Communities
  • Youth Connection for ages 10-17 in Schools and Communities
  • Kids’ Connection, Too for Ages 4-15 in Homeless & Domestic Violence Shelters, Group Homes & Other Transitional Living Environments

Please contact us at info@RainbowDaysTraining.org for more information!
Training Calendar
Virtual Workshop Series
Mark your calendar!

We are in the final stages of scheduling our upcoming Fall Virtual Workshop Series. Please mark your calendars for:
 
  • Friday, November 13*
  • Friday, November 20*
  • Tuesday, December 1 (10am-1pm)
  • Friday, December 4*
  • Tuesday, December 8*
  • Friday, December 11*
  • Friday, December 18*
*all workshops will be held from 10am-12pm cst
 
And, take a look at our Speaker line up! We are excited to have many of your favorite Speakers back and some soon to be favorites joining us!

  • Sahreen Abedin, JD - Director of Communications, Dell Medical School at The University of Texas
  • Darius Campinha-Bacote, PsyD - Founder & CEO, Campinha-Bacote Psychological Services
  • Jill Darling, President - R Time USA
  • Elizabeth Didlake, MA, CLC - Mental Health and Conflict Coach, The Inspire Programs, LLC
  • Katelyn Fuller, LMSW - Dallas County Juvenile Department
  • Nan Henderson, M.S.W., Ph.D. - President, Resiliency in Action
  • Bill Michener - ED, Lincoln Lighthouse - National Independent Trainer of Restorative Solutions, Inc.
  • Karen Williams, M.S.S.W. - Independent Trainer
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CBSG® Program Facilitator Connection Calls

Join us for our CBSG® Program Facilitator Connection meeting on Wednesday, November 18, 2020 and Wednesday, December 16, 2020 from 11:00-11:45 a.m. CT. Come connect with the Developer, Trainers, and fellow CBSG® Program Facilitators. And, we don't want you to miss out on a Spotlight Moment success story. Attendance is FREE but registration is required. Please click the dates above to register for one or both calls!

Please email any questions or concerns to be answered in upcoming meetings to info@rainbowdaystraining.org.
Spotlight Moment
A special shout out and thank you to the Spotlight Moments from our September and October CBSG Program Facilitator CallTracy Aguilar and Chris Garcia with MidCoast Family ServicesMelissa Scott, with SACADA, and Lisa Solon with Lakewood’s CHOICE. We hope you enjoy the wonderful ideas these programs shared with us and, are able to join us for our next Call on November, 18th

MidCoast Family Services, Victoria, TX
TikTok: @mcfsyouthprogram
 
 
Lakewood’s CHOICE, Lakewood, WA
Kids' Connection, Too Now Available

Fresh from the printing press: Get you copy of the newly edited Kid's Connection, Too Facilitator Manual, for children & youth ages 4-15 in homeless & transitional living settings. For training CBSG® Program Facilitators, this easy-to-use curriculum can be purchased to assist with Positive Alternative Activities and ATOD Presentations.
Virtual Activity Guides Now Available

We want to ensure everyone is aware the Virtual Activity Guides for Kids' Connection and Youth Connection are available on our website for immediate download.
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