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How Do You Feel?
February, 2020
Quote of the month

"Family is everything." 

by Robert Lux, my dad, who would 
have been 90 years old this month.

My Services
 
Pre-Marital Counseling
 
Certified Prepare/Enrich Program Facilitator
 
 
Marital Counseling
 
Infidelity Issues
 
Self-Esteem Support
 
Communication
 Skills
 
Problem-Solving Support
 
Renew Marital Excitement
 
Family counseling
 
Step-Parenting 

 
Divorce Support
 
Redefining Life Purpose
 
Grief/Loss Support
 
Co-Parenting
 
  
  YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFORT!!  

 

I welcome the opportunity to help you work through current issues and to look at your future with a sense of hope and purpose.

My 
Qualifications

Masters Degree - Applied Psychology from Seton Hall University

 

Post-Masters Degree-Marriage and Family Therapy from Seton Hall University

 

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

 

Private Practice 

since 2008

 

Married over 30 years

 

Mother of 2 

young-adult daughters 

 

Lived in Indiana, 

New Jersey and Texas

 

Passionate about 

what I do

 

 
Yes, that is a typical question asked by every therapist in the field. There is a reason for that. Most of us have a hard time getting in touch with how we feel; not what do others want me to feel or what I am told to feel, but how do I really feel about something. And if we do get in touch with those true feelings, we are afraid to let them out, for fear of being judged or treated differently. Therapy is a place of non-judgement and support. 

Read below for some options for getting in touch with your true feelings if you do not have the opportunity to go to therapy. Of course, if you are struggling once you acknowledge those feelings, please reach out to a local professional who can help.

Sincerely,
 
 
Maryellen Dabal, MA, LMFT
305 Miron Drive
Southlake, TX 76092
817-876-9958  
 
Missed previous newsletters??
Go to www.dabalmft.com.  Click on the newsletters link at the bottom of the home page. Enjoy.....
  
From The Positive Perspective.......
 
One great way to discover your true feelings is to journal. This is not meant for anyone else to see, just you. Some people journal and shred it or throw it in the fireplace immediately. Others journal and use that as a place to see growth from what they felt 6 months ago. Journaling simply means writing down (not typing) the words that come to mind as if you were talking to your best friend or your dog or cat. It means no structure or worrying about grammar, just writing what's on your mind. If you do this for a while, you may feel or see a pattern in your thoughts. That pattern most likely will show you how you really feel about a particular topic.

Another way to get in touch with your feelings is to keep track of how you change when you are in certain environments or with certain people. Now, in work situations, we have to be business-like and respectful for sure, but do you feel as though you are using your talents and are you being the "best-version-of-yourself", as Christian writer Matthew Kelly, would say? We can't just quit a job or move immediately if we are not feeling good about our work environment, but we can begin to plan a change properly and not hastily. Before making that major change, it is so important to discuss the plan with anyone else who may be affected, such as a spouse or other family member or friend.

With regards to our family, you may find that some people bring out the best in you and some do not. Working to find the best in our family members may help us to feel better about them, even if we disagree with their beliefs. Being able to discuss what you need from everyone and what they need from you can open the communication lines for a better family experience. If you are unable to do that on your own, family therapy is a great option.

Regarding friends and acquaintances, if those relationships make you feel judged or there is not a give-and-take in the relationship, then your feelings might not be in a good place with that person. Just as mentioned above, seek to understand what everyone needs out of the friendship. It is possible that you may not have or are not willing to give what the other person needs, such as they may only like to do what they want to do and don't care what you want to do. If you feel better in certain friendships and not in others, there is probably a reason for that. It's worth exploring through journaling or talking to a trusted individual. A relationship needs to be beneficial for both involved, not just one of you.

Remember that you are never "stuck "in a relationship. You can actually choose people you associate with. With regards to family relationships, while I encourage you to work through differences to keep family together in every way possible, some relationships can become toxic, such as abuse. It is not healthy to stay in those relationships in that state, but with willing parties, that unhealthiness can be improved in some instances with hard work and dedication. Be aware though, that some situations are too unhealthy to continue. Seek professional help to sort through that.

So, evaluate how you feel in different environments and with different people. Great relationships, where you usually feel accepted and happy, are worth fighting for. Long-term relationships have ups and downs, though, but look at your overall history before you decide to leave it. I wish you happy and healthy relationships for your future where you feel loved and accepted.
 

Try to look at the situations in life
From the Positive Perspective
and we can work through anything!
Feedback
I welcome feedback regarding the newsletter or questions about my practice.  I can be reached at maryellen@dabalmft.com .  I cannot, however, give advice through email. For more information on my practice please visit my website: www.dabalmft.com

I wish you well...

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