February Newsletter: Lent

February 13, 2018

Lent

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, and I will be marked with ashes as a reminder that I will, someday, return to the dust from which I was created. So begins the great penitential season of Lent.

This year for Lent, I'm going to ponder the following question:

How do I love myself through my lack of wholeness?

To start, I'll consider the things that I hunger for as I fast for the next 40 days. Perhaps I will learn what I really hunger for, the things that I really desire. Do these desires help me act with justice, be kind, and walk humbly with God? ( Micah 6:8) What do these desires tell me about my connection (or disconnection) with God, others, and myself?

My prayers during Lent will be to sit with whatever sense of connection and disconnection. Can I express gratitude for those times when I feel connected? Can I hold myself with compassion when I feel disconnected? The company of my spiritual director will help me here--I trust that she will be able to hold my feelings and experiences of disconnection when I can't. My prayer, then, is to simply treat myself with compassion.

As I learn to treat myself with compassion, I will be able to reach out toward others with compassion. The answer to the question "How do I love myself through my lack of wholeness?" ultimately leads me to examine how I love others. Love of self and love of others cannot be separated. And in that flow of love between myself and others I will find God already there, loving everyone and everything.

Lent is a season of penance, not punishment. It is a time for us to learn how to open our hearts so that love can flow more freely. This is the conversion of heart I hope for.

The Stations of the Cross

The Stations of the Cross can help you learn how to love yourself through your lack of wholeness. Use the questions to help discover how to hold yourself with compassion as you walk the Way of the Cross. Remember that God is walking along with you, holding your hand gently and with compassion.

The First Station: Jesus is condemned to death. What is something you condemn yourself for?

The Second Station: Jesus takes up his Cross.

Where do you carry this feeling of condemnation?

The Third Station: Jesus falls the first time. How does this feeling condemnation prevent you from being kind?

The Fourth Station: Jesus meets his sorrowful mother. Imagine someone you love. Do they condemn you?

The Fifth Station: Simon of Cyrene helps Jesus carry the Cross. What kind of support do you need in the face of this self-condemnation?

The Sixth Station: Veronica Wipes the Face of Jesus. Who is someone that offers you that kind of support?

The Seventh Station: Jesus Falls a Second Time. Revisit your initial condemnation. How is it the same? How is it different?

The Eighth Station: Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem. Listen closely for any voices of self-pity.

The Ninth Station: Jesus falls the third time. Reconsider your condemnation.

The Tenth Station: Jesus is stripped of his garments. What are the expectations you did not live up to that resulted in your self-condemnation?

The Eleventh Station: Jesus is nailed to the Cross. Look at these expectations; are they tied to your sense of God's ability to love you?

The Twelfth Station: Jesus dies on the Cross. Imagine your life without having to live up to these expectations. What is different? Do you feel a greater or lesser sense of freedom?

The Thirteenth Station: Jesus is taken down from the Cross. How do you hold yourself now with love, mercy, and compassion?

The Fourteenth Station: Jesus Is Laid in the Tomb. Rest for several moments in the loving presence of God. Grieve if you need to.

Meditation: Connection

This meditation can help you develop a sense of connection with God, others, and yourself. For this meditation, you will need a small object such as a leaf, a stick, or a rock.

Slow down your breathing, until it is gentle, smooth, and soft. Let go of any tension in your body by relaxing your jaw, your shoulders, your fingertips, even your toes. Continue until you feel light, fresh, and free.

Read the following Scripture verse slowly, savoring each word:

God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good . (Genesis 1:31)

Hold your chosen object in your hand. Focus for a few moments on the gentleness with which you hold it.

Pay attention to the details of this object. Feel it's weight; notice its texture, look at it's color. Rotate it and observe it from different perspectives.

Say to yourself "God looks at this (name the object) and sees that it is good." Rest in this goodness and allow yourself to be swept up in this goodness.

Like all things, this object will return to dust--and so will you. As you hold this object, remember that you come from the same source and will return to the same source. Gaze at this object, and let it gaze at you. Look for God in this shared gaze.

Close this meditation with a simple prayer of gratitude for the object and an Amen.

Visit my website for more meditations!

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