Somewhere between 40 and 50 percent of married couples will face a divorce, according to the American Psychological Association. If you are going through a divorce, you may feel overwhelmed. Here are some helpful tips from divorcees who have been there before:
1. Everyone deals with divorce in his or her own way. Grief, anger, depression – there is no cookie cutter response. It might take a long time to recover. Take it at your own pace. If the divorce weighs too much on you, consider talking to a therapist.
2. Figure out your shared finances. Financial analysts suggest that 40 percent of divorces are about money. Figure out whose names are on which bank accounts, passwords to online accounts, investment information, etc. Having documentation of your financial situation can streamline what can be a complicated divorce process.
3. Continuing with the importance of clarifying finances, you should calculate your future living expenses as well as keeping some money aside for unexpected costs. If you did not have a budget while you were married, this is the perfect time to start using one.
4. Don’t try to hurt your ex. It may be tempting, but it is never worth it. Even something as simple as harsh words can escalate an already tense situation. Worse still, if you have children, your children may suffer if you badmouth your ex. And whatever you do, don’t post negative things about your ex on the Internet. Always take the high road.
5. Pay extra attention to your children and their feelings. Kids will often blame themselves for a divorce, even when it had nothing to do with them. Show them extra love and address behavioral issues early. Speak to their school teachers and principle about what is going on, so they have a heads-up if problems arise or if your child seems depressed or anxious.