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Nobody goes undefeated in life. I didn’t, and neither will you. Loss is all around us.
As we grow older, we may lose our eyesight, our hearing, or our waistline. But loss goes far beyond the natural changes of aging. We can lose our health, our jobs, our businesses, our finances, and our relationships. Some people lose their marriages. Others lose loved ones. Eventually, we will all face the loss of our own lives.
I experienced a tragic loss on my dock when my dog died. I wrote about it in my book, Bear Facts of Life. One of my patients, a man named Bill, read the story. He later told me, “Pat, when I read about the tragedy you went through, it connected me to my own losses—especially those from Vietnam.”
That conversation helped me understand something important. When we experience a new loss, unresolved losses from the past can resurface. They can wash ashore unexpectedly, adding to the pain we are already carrying.
So if you are going through a loss, be aware that other losses may be connected to it. They can pile up and make your grief feel overwhelming.
But there is an answer: hope.
When you’re facing loss, hope doesn’t have to mean believing that everything will turn out exactly as you want. Sometimes hope is simply believing that you can keep going, that pain can change, and that your life can still contain meaning even though something important is gone.
A few things can help keep hope alive:
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Let yourself grieve honestly. Hope and sadness can exist together.
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Take life in small pieces. When the future feels overwhelming, focus on today—or even the next hour.
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Stay connected. Loss can make you want to isolate yourself.
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Remember that hope can change shape. At first, you may hope for things to return to how they were. Eventually, hope may become the possibility of building a meaningful life that looks different from the one you imagined.
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Hold onto what the loss cannot erase. A person, relationship, home, opportunity, or period of life may be gone, but what you learned, loved, experienced, or shared can remain part of you.
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Give yourself permission to have good moments. Laughing, enjoying something, or looking forward to something doesn't betray what you've lost. It is possible to carry grief and still experience joy.
As Pastor Russ says, “Hope never disappoints.” Hold on to your faith. Reach out, collaborate, and talk with people you trust. You do not have to face your loss alone. With support and perseverance, you can move through the pain toward acceptance, understanding, and meaning.
Keep hope alive.
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