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The Presence Care Project in San Francisco notes that caregivers experience at least four types of grief:
1) Anticipatory Grief: The pain of losing a loved one, felt in advance of a person’s death.
2) Ambiguous Loss: The conflicting feelings that come from interacting with a person who is alive, but not the same psychologically.
3) Disenfranchised Grief: An “invisible” grief, or loss that is hidden from others or not socially recognized because the person is still here.
4) Loss of One’s Life and Vision for the Future: Grief over this kind of ongoing loss can fuel feelings of resentment and guilt.
It takes a lot of energy to learn to live without your loved one. Again, we are challenged to find a new or different path in life to add meaning to our lives. As a grandmother of three, I witnessed them all grieving the loss of their father in different ways. Some exhibited changes in behavior and had difficulty in school. Grieving children can benefit from expressing themselves through art, play, ritual, and conversation. We do not always “get over” grief; instead, we learn to create a new normal.
Self-care while grieving is critical to healing. Care for your body—eat a balanced diet, surround yourself with friends and family who allow you to express your feelings, and manage stress. Relax your body and spirit through meditation, prayer, gratitude practice, yoga, or walking in nature. Healing takes place as we face our loss and allow ourselves to grieve. Many individuals find they need more information, comfort, or counseling. Understanding the grief process can be helpful in managing distress.
DayBreak offers support groups and counseling. If you would like to talk to someone, please feel free to call us at 510-834-8314.
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