Pam Hicks has served on the EMCC National Team in a variety of roles, and is currently assisting as Operations Projects Coordinator. She is in conversation with Ben, a newly settled Canadian, along with his mom and sister, living in Kitchener-Waterloo.
Both Pam and Ben give some history for how they met and became acquainted with each other, as well as Ben’s mom and sister.
Ben shares, “...[My family and I] had to leave Iraqi Kurdistan and we went to Turkey. When we were in Turkey, [a friend from the US] came to Turkey to visit me.…He said, 'Okay. Is there anything I can do?' I said, 'Well, I heard that Canada would accept refugees. Do you think you could do something about that for me?' He said, 'Let me see. I have a friend in Canada. Let me call him.' [This friend] said, 'Oh, yeah. As a matter of fact, our church would sponsor refugees.' He said, 'Okay, cool. Well, sponsor them!' So, that took almost two, three years to do everything. That’s exactly how we came here.”
Pam recalls how she became connected to the journey of Ben and his family.
“In 2018, I was helping out with World Partners administration. Joel, knowing my love for learning of other cultures, asked if I would take on the role of Refugee Sponsorship Coordinator. I jumped on the opportunity. Through our partnership with the Christian & Missionary Alliance, I learned the process for sponsoring refugees through the Canadian government. But I was lacking the personal investment. During a conference on sponsorship, I met Kaylee from MCC (Mennonite Central Committee). Her own church, local to me, was sponsoring a family and she offered to bring me into the team. It was a great opportunity to meet and work alongside people who also had a heart for refugees and new Canadians.
Their friendship began at the airport, as Ben and his family were welcomed to their new home of Canada, and continued on through the one year of sponsorship. But, the connections did not stop when the team commitment ended, even amidst the pandemic.
Pam states that “…Because of the relationship I had with Ben, his mom and sister, I just couldn’t walk away. They mean too much to me. We are family.”
Ben affirms this sense of family with Pam as well “...As she said, the group [from the church] which sponsored us, there were like 20-25 people. Within this 25, Pam is the closest. One of the things that I always say is 'Pam, I don’t know how much more we should try to convert you.' Basically conversion normally means from one village, one faith to another. In this context, it means from your culture to our culture. Just think about it. We live in Canada and we are trying to convert Pam. So, we are that close...So yeah, having her as a member of our family is more than a blessing…For the whole family actually. My whole family knows her. Every time we talk with my brother or my sister [in Turkey], they always say, ‘How’s Pam?’ Always.”
For both of them, this decision to be bonded as family has taught them about each other’s worldviews and cultural differences.
Ben says “…One of the things I love about Pam and I think this applies to most people from West, they are straightforward. Whatever they say, they mean it. That is a challenge for me, actually. I have to work on that….We [also] think differently. We have had so many discussions, conversations, sometimes arguments too. So, this mindset that I’ve had for 30 years, that I have grown with, needs to change little by little. And she has been really helpful. It has been a challenge for me, always. Every single time we discuss, argue, whatever, I have to think for two, three hours that day to work on my mindset and everything.”
Pam reflects that “I’ve had my worldview challenged and expanded. We don’t see things the same way but both perspectives are valid. It’s difficult to intertwine or mesh those views together and perhaps it’s a mistake to do that. Their experiences have validated some of the world’s harshest realities. But their resilience is inspiring. And they have great hopes and aspirations for what they can still yet do. Their circumstances have not caused them to withdraw from life. They’re ready to continue to move on and seek for great things. I’m also humbled by their sacrifice for family members who are still refugees awaiting sponsorship. And for the many friends they have who are seeking asylum in many places. There’s so much uncertainty in all these connected lives and it weighs on them. And yet they keep moving forward day by day.”
Finally, Ben and Pam offer some encouragement to those who would want to engage and get to know those that are coming to Canada.
Having lived two years in Canada, Ben shares “…[newly settled Canadians], we are like you, [even with] cultural difference…[W]e will be more than happy to meet every single person in our community, in our neighbourhood. But no one says hi. No one visits me. Because they feel like, he has his own culture, we have our own culture so maybe they’re not comfortable…My suggestion would be to simply visit [recently settled refugees or your new neighbors]. Say hi. Exchange food, maybe – that would be a good step. Maybe initiate teaching English. A good friend of us has taught my Mom for two, three months, even though she’s illiterate. She learned a lot. Something that simple has a lot of effect.”
For Pam, her experience has “…simply confirmed what I already knew and believed. We all long for connection and relationship. How much more so when someone arrives to a new place with very little resources and perhaps no network. When I have traveled to various countries, I depend on those I’m with to lead me, to guide me and care for me. My understanding of that culture or country is so limited but I’m eager to learn. I think that’s what it’s like for newcomers. They are willing to embrace a new life, a new language sometimes, with the hope of making many new friends to fill their lives with community and give them a sense of belonging. There’s great blessing in sharing our lives together.”
