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Exploring the Couple and Family Maps
What are the Couple and Family Maps?
The couple and family maps are derived from Dr. David Olson's research on the Circumplex Model. The maps chart how each partner perceives closeness and flexibility in their couple relationship and their family of origin.
  • Closeness is defined as the emotional bonding that couples and family members have toward one another
  • Flexibility is the amount of change in leadership, role relationships, and relationship rules
The map is a 5x5 grid, consisting of balanced (white), mid-range (light blue), and unbalanced (dark blue) squares. When a couple answers the questions about the flexibility and closeness in their relationship and family of origin, they are plotted on the grid. It is normal for individuals, couples, and families to move throughout the map over time as they go through life stages and/or face life stressors.
 
Why are the maps important?
These maps give you, the Facilitator, a look into how a couple viewed their family growing up and compares it to how they view their couple relationship now. This is important as individuals often tend to recreate or reject the type of family system they grew up in. You might have couples talk about what they want to repeat in their relationship and what they'd like to do differently. In doing so, they may become more aware of how their upbringing affects the patterns of their own relationship. 
 
Balance is key to a healthy relationship. 
Couples and families that fall within the balanced range (the nine white squares in the middle) are considered the most functional and healthy. As stated before, couples will move throughout the map over time, so by receiving insight on where they fall on the map and why, they may be able to anticipate how their relationship might change during different life stages and events and prepare for them accordingly. Examples might include increasing communication after the birth of a child, or being intentional about spending quality time together when kids are older and the family is pulled in many different directions. If the couple finds themselves in an unbalanced range, it's helpful to acknowledge that it is normal and often temporary. You can use exercises from the Workbook for Couples to help the couple take steps toward more balance.

How the maps apply to parenting styles
If a couple you are working with is interested in understanding their parenting styles, have them take the  PREPARE/ENRICH Parenting assessment. This assessment goes in depth on the parenting styles of each individual in the relationship. Their parenting style will get plotted on the Circumplex Model, similar to the Couple and Family Maps, and show how flexible and cohesive their parenting styles are.

There are five different parenting styles included on the map:
  • Balanced style: This style has a healthy level of parenting closeness and flexibility. Sometimes referred to in literature as "democratic" or "autocratic," this style tends to be most healthy because there is a balance of age-appropriate child autonomy and parental control. Independence is encouraged and discipline is consistent and fair. Parenting is warm and nurturing without being overindulgent. Discipline tends to be consistent and fair. According to research, this parenting style is related to the best outcomes for children and teens.
  • Permissive style: This parenting style allows the child/teen a lot of freedom and choice. Parents may have a hard time saying "no," establishing and enforcing rules, and creating boundaries. Also called "indulgent" parenting, this style is characterized by high responsiveness to a child's needs and high emotional connection. 
  • Overbearing style: Often referred to in literature as "authoritarian". This style is typically demanding, with high levels of control and high levels of responsiveness and closeness. An "overbearing" parent is highly connected to their child/teen and also has high expectations for them to conform and comply with their rules, guidance, and direction. 
  • Strict style: This parenting style is characterized by predictability, order, and rules that allow little room for negotiation. Discipline tends to be firm. Unlike the "overbearing" style, however, emotional connection is low. 
  • Uninvolved style: This parenting style allows the child/teen a lot of freedom and choice and few (or poorly-enforced) rules and boundaries, but lacks the emotional responsiveness characterized by the "permissive" style. This style is characterized by low emotional connection with few demands placed on the child. 
Looking for Couple and Family Map Feedback Exercises?

Explore the Workbook for Couples. PDF versions are located in  Facilitator  Dashboard>Feedback Materials. 

Hard copies can be purchased through our online store for $3 each plus shipping. 

 
 
 
 
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