Focus on Marriage Trends

We've done the research, so you don't have to: Marital Trends in the 21st Century

The Background Information page of the Facilitator Report helps uncover insights and potential issues before a couple even steps in the room with you. It also provides more context around what has brought the couple to you in the first place. Are they an engaged couple seeking premarital counseling? A married couple dealing with blended family complexities? A Christian and Agnostic navigating their spiritual differences?

This page can tell you all of that at-a-glance, but did you know it is also tied to a much broader cultural and societal context? Thanks to your work with couples and use of P/E, we're able to more closely examine marital trends across demographics, potentially laying the groundwork for an even more robust and relevant assessment in the future.

One example of the application of data is this current research conducted by PREPARE/ENRICH staff on marrying age and education.

A recent New York Times article highlighted new research regarding who is, and isn't, getting married. In 1990, over 50% of U.S. adults aged 18-55 were married regardless of income and education.

Over the past 25 years, a sharp class distinction has emerged, with only 26% of poor adults and 39% of working class adults being married, while 56% of middle- and upper-class adults are married.

In light of these trends and others, we recently took a look at the demographics of over 250,000 engaged couples who completed the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment over the past five years (2012-2016).

With such a large data set, it is remarkable how consistent some demographic measures remain, which allows trends to stand out in sharp relief.

*It's important to note that while our data-set is large, the engaged couples assessed may not represent the general population, as it is influenced by the reach of our network. Also

note that in communicating trends, we are focusing on changes in the percentages of the population represented by couples who take the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment.

Here are two inter-related trends highlighted in recent research, along with the corresponding findings in our demographic research:

1. Marriage is being delayed...

After the median age of first marriage bottomed out in the mid-1950's at 22 for men and 20 for women, it has steadily increased since then to 30 for men and 28 for women in 2016. The median age of first marriage for both men and women increased by nearly a year between 2012-2016.

( Source)

In our analysis of engaged couples completing the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment, the same trend emerges. This trend appears more strongly among women, with the contingent of 18-25 year-old women decreasing by 10% and the percentage of 26-35 year-olds increasing by 9%. For engaged men the same trend holds, but to a lesser extent with a 4% decrease in 18-25 year-olds and an 3% increase in 26-35 year-olds.

Further confirming that couples are waiting longer to marry is a 10% decrease in the percentage of engaged couples who have known each other for 2 years or less, and a 6% increase those who have known each other for 3+ years, with this group now representing 57% of all engaged couples.

2. ...But with utterly different outcomes based on education

While the increase in median marrying age holds consistent across categories of education and economic class, when living arrangement and children are taken into account, two starkly contrasting stories emerge.

College-educated young adults are delaying marriage, parenthood, and to a lesser degree, cohabitation. However, among young adults with less than 4 years of college, rates of cohabitation and out-of-wedlock births have skyrocketed.

Among 28-34 year-olds with less than a high school degree, two thirds are "baby first" (having at least one child out-of-wedlock) and 18% are "marriage first," with 15% childless and unmarried. Contrast this with college-educated adults in the same age group, of which only 9% are "baby first," 55% are "marriage first" and 36% are childless and unmarried.

More college-educated young adults are seeing marriage as a "capstone" of adulthood instead of the "cornerstone" it was seen as in previous generations. In this paradigm, milestones like starting a career, paying off school loans and buying a house are seen as prerequisites of marriage, and marriage is generally seen as a prerequisite to having children. As such, 78% of college-educated Millennials are on track to follow the "success sequence" of obtaining education, a job and a spouse prior to having children.

( Source)

Our demographic study focused exclusively on engaged couples, and thus measured couples who intend to marry, whether or not they have children or have been married before.

In general, what we see among the engaged couples assessed is a modest 5% increase in the percentage of couples who are college educated (63%), and a modest across-the-board decrease in the percentage of engaged couples with children (15% overall),regardless of the level of education attained.

The number of engaged couples who have children but have never been married has

also declined slightly to 13%, and the percentage of engaged couples who are expecting a child has dropped from 3.5% to 2.7%.

We also see a small overall increase in the number of couples living together six months or more (from 48% to 51%), but a decrease in the number of engaged couples who had lived together six months or less when taking the assessment.

So what does this mean?

While correlation does not equate to causation, when we see a rise in the number of engaged couples who take the assessment following the "success sequence" (which correlates to lower risk of poverty), it inspires gratitude for and pride in the work you are doing to build strong marriages and healthy relationships.

We hope this research adds additional context when you interpret the Background Information page of the report and plan your sessions with couples. Here are some additional questions related to this research for you to ponder.

How are societal trends impacting the choices of the couples you work with?
Is the "success sequence" evident in the couples you are working with? Does the presence or absence of it impact how you work with them?
After correlating the couple's results on education, finances, and stage of parenting, how would you refine the work you do with couples?
Have you considered incorporating the PE exercises on finances and/or parenting into your sessions?
How could this research impact working with dating couples?

Again, thank you for the work you do for your community and the couples you serve. Without you, none of this research would be possible!