Anger is a deadly, often silent killer of spirit. It can fester under the surface masquerading around as impatience, frustration, a temper, or immaturity. Anger takes no prisoners and can be devastatingly dangerous. Make no mistake, anger will devour your soul, chew you up and spit out a mere shell of who you could be - who you want to be all the while justifying its existence with blame. You're angry because someone else did something that you don't deserve. You're angry because what happened to you isn't your fault. You're angry because your life never seems fair.
How is that line of thinking working for you?
While you are in the "Victim" mentality you are completely abandoning responsibility for the outcome of your own destiny. You're laying the consequence of your life in someone else's hands. That's lazy and stupid. You are not stupid. So wise up. Stop lying back and waiting for someone or something outside of yourself to deliver peace and fulfillment to you fileted to perfection on a silver platter. Sit up and be accountable to yourself for what you want. It's the only way you'll get it.
You can't break free from the chains of anger to take back control of your own destiny if you don't forgive. It's impossible. Blame stands in the way like a giant fortress. Forgiveness is like opening the damn of blame and allowing the penned up waters of life's inequities to bound forward in a gush of optimism. It's saying, "I'm not waiting for anyone or anything to rescue me. I'm in charge and look out because I'm on it!"
You don't forgive to help the other person. You forgive to help yourself.
Harboring ill will and resentment is holding on to expectations that were never met - totally counterproductive to moving forward. Let go of the expectations. To do that you must forgive.
I am a firm believer in active symbolism as I have seen it work for so many of my clients. Get something that reminds you of the person or situation that you want to forgive and do something that "releases" it. That could be studying a photograph, reminiscing about all the lost time perseverating on anger and then placing it in a new spot. It could mean writing down angry thoughts and then taking the paper outside where you safely light it on fire and watch the smoke escape into the air. Do something that demonstrates that you are ready to move on.
Who am I angry with or what am I angry about?
How has this held me back?
What would be different if I were not held back?
Who am I spending time with that reinforces this negative pattern?
Who could I spend time with that reinforces positive energy?
What am I going to do to release this anger?