I have been suggesting in class that we cultivate and direct healing energy into the heart center in order to heal the wounds of the past. In this way we can learn to self soothe and become potent healers. Interestingly, striving for perfection in all that you do is not the problem. In fact, I enjoy the focus it takes to do my best work. This mindset only becomes problematic when we fall short of our expectations. Then the ego takes over and we become critical of our self-induced goals. Before we know it, negative self talk consumes us.
This type of suffering causes us to feel badly towards ourselves, creating negative energy that we then project onto others-usually those we love and care about. Blaming may feel like a way out of this suffering for you, but it can consume us and be the way we go through life, leaving us wondering why we have no real connections with friends or family.
How can we live a different way? The perfectionist in you is a scar from when you were 5-8 years old. We decided when we were children that perfection was a way to earn love from our parents and feel good about ourselves. A child might think, "If I do everything perfectly I will not get criticized but will enjoy praise and compliments."
What if you did your best and had no expectations? The outcome would just be as it is supposed to be. What if we slip up and go down the road of self criticism, but then STOP and become aware of what we are doing and make the CHOICE to love ourselves for the effort and not the outcome?
Imagine going down this negative path and stopping for a moment to be more objective. We can see then that the world does not revolve around us. We are only a speck in this huge universe. Imagine in this moment placing your hands on your heart and saying out loud, "I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you." And then move on. This proactive step is a choice that you can make to empower yourself and return to your natural human state of joy, happiness, self-respect and love.
~ Brian Delaney