May 12, 2018 - Issue 18-19

Good afternoon, 

A very close friend of mine lost his wife several years ago. He's quite sure her death was due to a mistake in her medical treatment for a non-life-threatening ailment. All this happened before I knew him. He told me that he'd considered suing the medical people he considered responsible. 

In telling me about this a few years after the fact he said, "After some reflection I decided, 'JoAnn is gone, and a lawsuit won't bring her back. I'd rather have my positive memories of her, unblemished by all the negativity of a long drawn out legal action, than to try to get some money from her doctors." In my estimation this was an excellent choice. I hold my friend in high regard for his recognition of the importance of moving forward positively, rather than dwelling on someone's mistake which can't be changed.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the destructive effects of anger and hate. We looked at the value of forgiving people, whether or not you tell them you've forgiven them. No sooner had I written that than I received this message from Ashley Stahl, a recent new LinkedIn connection. Ashley is an international business and life coach. She has wonderful insight into what helps people function effectively in life and work.

Ashley offers us some great advice on forgiving, and tells us we should start by forgiving ourselves...for whatever is bothering us about ourselves. Her embedded audio  (<2 minutes) in the linked document can be opened with Windows Media Player (Mac users: I'm advised you should use the  Flip4Mac QuickTime plug-in available from and is definitely worth a listen.

Are You Blaming Yourself?

Holding a grudge...
Not forgiving...
Being angry...

These are all pretty similar and, as I mentioned in my earlier message, they eat at your insides. Meanwhile the object of your negative feelings goes on doing whatever he, she or it is doing and is mostly untroubled by your feelings. 

Most often, when you are angry with someone or something external, your anger stems from something within you that troubles you. Identifying that, and forgiving yourself for whatever you've done, felt, or thought is an important first step in forgiving others. And please continue to remember, forgiving others is effective whether you tell them or not - the important part of this process is within you!

Enjoy Ashley's insight, and give all this some thought, especially if you're one who's inclined to harbor feelings of blame toward yourself and/or others - for anything! What's happened usually can't be changed (If it can be, by all means get on with carrying out or promoting the appropriate change!). Assuming it can't be changed, continuing to beat yourself, or others, up about it will only keep you from getting on to other things with a positive attitude.

Have a great day!

John Stevens at Unity Copywriting

Marketing Support for the Business Coaching Industry

Let's Talk!

Have you had the experience of forgiving yourself? How did (or does) it feel? Want to talk about forgiveness? I'm all ears! 

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If you're in the B2B world of advising business leaders on how to improve their businesses, you have two issues in building your business:

Finding and Connecting with Qualified Prospects

You probably know that LinkedIn is a great tool for finding prospects, IF you know how to use it. We do - our Business Accelerator Program  will provide 25-35 qualified prospect connections a day and welcome them to your network.

Staying Visible to Those Prospects

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Truth be told, it may be a few months later, or even in the next budget year that they'll decide to use your professional help.

During that delay until these prospects become clients, Unity Copywriting  can help you keep them engaged, interested, and remembering who you are, without bombarding them with hard-sell messages. 

Have me write the newsletters and other materials to help you stay top of mind with them, while you carry on with the important work you're doing to help your current clients.

Be well, my friends.


About John

Throughout a career spanning over 45 years my management style has been one of building teams to bring several competent people together to focus on a common objective. 

As I transition to life in the Argentine outback, my focus shifts from coaching to helping other business coaches and advisers get their message out to their prospective clients. With my first-hand knowledge of the benefits of effective business coaching, I am uniquely qualified to work with business advisers of all stripes convey their message.

Contact Info
John B. Stevens, Freelance Copywriter

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