Wednesday Weblog for June 15, 2022 |
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This is a different kind of Weblog.
It is defensive in nature. With all the negative news about fraternities, I wanted to take a week and share with you what my fraternity experience was then, and is today.
I was taught to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything, and I am a big believer that fraternities play an important role in the education of future leaders. I don't condone underage drinking, hazing or idiotic behavior. I do support the promotion of Brother, the stimulation of Scholarship and the Development of Character, and I've invested several thousand hours in that pursuit.
Read on to hear about the positive side of Greek life.
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Fraternity: Four-Letter Word? |
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Everyone who has heard about the frat hazing incident in Missouri is disgusted with the story of a 19-year-old made to drink enough vodka to cause brain damage, lose his eyesight and put him close to a vegetative state for the rest of his life.
Everyone associated with that organization should pay a price, but it can’t be high enough to bring the young man’s future back, but it must be high enough to scare the crap out of other idiots who engage in hazing and other forms of idiocy. Everyone associated with this incident is impacted for the rest of their lives, not just the victim.
If that isn’t enough to cast a negative light on fraternities, this week 46 members of a fraternity at the University of New Hampshire were arrested for a hazing incident. Again, every one of them is impacted for the rest of their lives.
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The call to abolish fraternities has been echoing in the background for many years, and as a 52-year member of one, and the volunteer Advisor to Phi Sigma Kappa at the University of Massachusetts since 2009, I have some thoughts about the subject.
As an Advisor, I have spent much time mentoring students on how to maximize the college and fraternity experience, and also some time warning them about avoiding the kinds of activities that give fraternities a bad name, because I don’t want MY fraternity to have a bad name. In fact, I want MY fraternity to have a great name.
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Frats Vs Fraternities
Not all Greek organizations are created equal, just as not all colleges are created equal, just as not all Congresswomen and Congressmen are created equal. The 1970’s movie "Animal House" portrayed a type of frat that still exists and causes 19-year-old lives to be ruined.
But painting all fraternities with the same brush is as wrong as painting all police officers or all dogs or all teachers or all wines or all airlines or all cars with the same brush. I’ve never called myself a ‘frat’ guy. I always use the word ‘fraternity.’ In my mind, and just my mind, ‘frat’ is a negative phrase, ‘fraternity’ is a positive phrase. Frats were portrayed in Animal House fraternities are places where future leaders are developed.
The characteristics of bad frats? Their goal is to see what they can get away with and not get caught and generally they also have low or no alumni involvement. Trust me, the towns, the schools, and the administrators know who these frats are and are anticipating the ‘next’ thing.
The common characteristics of good fraternities? Relationships are developed on trust and respect, and Alumni involvement is evident. It is these organizations that participate in town clean ups and raise money for Special Olympics or the local children’s hospital. These organizations have a DEI Chair, a Risk Management Chair, and a Philanthropy Chair. They might even have an Alumni Relations Chair. They also have a Grade Point Average to be proud of.
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Jerks Vs Young Men
Why are there two groups? If you take a group of 1,000 men at any college between the ages of 18 and 22, do you think there would be any jerks in that cohort? How many? The expression ‘opposites attract’ might apply to romances but never applies to young men affiliating with others. Relationships in that world are like magnets: jerks are attracted to jerks. Leaders are attracted to leaders.
So when you have a frat that is dominated by jerks who have a reckless disrespect for rules and common sense, guess who joins during the recruitment period? Correct. More jerks. And guess what happens? Nothing good. Guess what the Grade Point Average is in a frat with jerks? Correct again. Lower.
When you have a fraternity that is dominated by aspiring young men who have one eye on post-graduation employment and are active as chapter officers, or committee chairs, or ‘big brothers’ to younger guys, they naturally attract similar first-year students and sophomores to their house. Guess what the Grade Point Average is in a fraternity with ambitious young men? Right again. Higher.
There may never be a movie as popular as "Animal House" that balances the positive benefits of fraternities, but that doesn’t mean that there are no benefits. Here’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
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Then
When I entered UMass, I was almost instantly intimidated by the size and the fact that no one cared about me except my soccer teammates. After I pledged Phi Sig, the school shrank, my role models increased, and the people who cared for me skyrocketed. I went from not particularly liking the school, to loving it.
My work and life changed.
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Three of the ushers in my wedding were members of the fraternity, and I’ve seen all of them recently. And, oh yeah, the bride in my wedding was introduced to me by my fraternity ‘big brother” from Phi Sigma Kappa.
I had the chance to volunteer in a variety of roles and learn a lot about leadership and peer influence. Neither was taught in business school. As I tell the student leaders I advise, I learned more in the fraternity that benefited me than I learned in business school. I can find dozens of alumni who will make the same statement.
Now
With more than a dozen years advising MY fraternity, and a lifetime of membership, let me spell out a dozen reasons for belonging to a good fraternity:
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Principles: They all have principles, but some groups just don’t follow them. The Cardinal Principles of Brotherhood, Scholarship, and Character of Phi Sigma Kappa were and are emphasized. Not everyone buys in, but those who do get more out of membership than parties. These three concepts helped me in my formative years, and I think they still resonate and influence the lives of current members.
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Creed: True story: 35 years after I left school, someone asked me to say the creed, and I could do it with only a few errors. I was shocked. They asked me how I did it and I shrugged and said, ‘I guess lived it.” I am not alone. When this creed is lived, it works pretty well.
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PHI SIGMA KAPPA CREED
In the firm conviction that my Fraternity demands of me a life of Faith and Purpose.
I hereby solemnly declare My Faith in the wisdom and love of God; in the dignity and worth of my fellowmen; in the strength and beauty of true Fraternity; in the history and future of my Country; and in the traditions and program of my Alma Mater.
Henceforward, therefore, it shall be My Purpose to remain forever true to this, my fraternity’s faith in me and in turn to preserve and promote courageously and unselfishly the chosen ideals of our mutual affection and common endeavor.
To this end I dedicate My Life to the maintenance of this Faith and the pursuit of this Purpose so that the ideals of Phi Sigma Kappa, being embodied in me, may be fulfilled in my Character and Conduct, and be known and honored by all men.
By these things I stand.
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Leadership: I cannot over-emphasize how much you can learn about dealing with people as a volunteer leader in a fraternity. You learn where the buck stops, who you can count on and how to lead. All before graduation. I have worked closely with about twenty undergraduate Presidents, most are now in the real world, and all of them have gone on to bigger and better things and almost all credit their experience as a leader in the house with a measure of their success.
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Peer Influence: Business success is more about working with peers than almost anything else, and in a fraternity, which is one of the biggest lessons everyone learns. Under the label of ‘brotherhood,’ things like the common good, what’s ‘best for the house’ and other respectful relationship attitudes are shaped.
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Lifelong Friendships: In my role I have the chance to interact with dozens, if not hundreds of alumni of the Umass Chapter. You know who their best friends are? The guys they lived at 510 North Pleasant Street in Amherst. Whether they’ve been out for a few years or sixty years, most, like me, are still connected. Not sure where my former dorm roommates are today. How about you?
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Financial Savvy: Chapters collect dues from members. The members decide how much the dues will be and how they will be spent. In a large house this can be well over $100,000 per year. Are mistakes made? Sure. But think about all the lessons learned that will benefit the leadership later with managing that kind of budget at 20 years old.
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Scholarship: Some fraternities are consistently above the campus averages, some are below. MY fraternity had a GPA last spring of 3.41 compared to the University average of 3.2. Yes, there are mandatory study hours for those with lower grades and yes, grades are reviewed prior to formal initiation.
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Merit Based Awards: Unless you were in a Greek organization, you probably are not aware that there is a ‘Point System’ in most houses. You get points for volunteering, grades, holding offices and so forth and those points translate into room selection priorities. It isn’t quite the same as a corporate bonus, but it is a carrot instead of a stick.
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Self-Management: There is also a Judicial Board in solid organizations that consist of peers who hold hearings when a member does something stupid, like breaking a window or getting drunk and saying or doing something stupid. Punishments are determined by a group of peers. What a concept.
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Long term earnings: According to a recent study, fraternity men earn 36% more in their lifetime than non-fraternity men. You might assume that is related to networking and that might be partially true. (I walked into an interview with the President of Wendy’s and the first thing he said to me was ‘at least you were in the right fraternity.’ He was a Phi Sig.) I maintain the real reason is the other benefits listed here.
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Frat is a four-letter word.
Fraternity, when done right, is a real asset: to the students, to the school, and to the future.
Fraternity can launch careers. It launched mine.
And by the way, Jack Welch lived in the same house as a member of Phi Sigma Kappa before me when he attended UMass. It seemed to help his career as well.
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Phi Sigma Kappa, a national fraternity with chapters from coast to coast, was founded in 1873 at the University of Massachusetts when it was known as the Massachusetts Agricultural College.
As the “Alpha Chapter” it has a special obligation to the national fraternity to maintain the principles of its founding and founders.
In 2009, my fraternity little brother, Jim McDonough, rallied a group of 21 of us from the 1970’s to meet in Amherst because the fraternity was in trouble. Membership was low, the physical facility was a mess, but I hear the parties were fantastic! It had many of the characteristics of a 'frat.'
It was time to segue to a fraternity. We put together a plan. Alumni got involved, recruitment improved, finances got better, renovations began. 12 years later almost $600,000 has been reinvested into the house in every way imaginable: new slate roof, new heat, new electric, new parking lot, renovated sleeping rooms, new flooring, and a cadre of outstanding young leaders have passed through and gone on to begin successful careers in business, engineering, art, politics, community leadership and public safety.
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Surprise Photo at the End:
2017 National Fraternity of the Year
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Joe's Positive Post of the Week |
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Adding New Mexico this week!
The Roll Call of states and countries where readers reside: Alabama, Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Puerto Rico, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Vermont, Virginia, Washington and Washington DC, Wisconsin plus Canada, Spain, Conch Republic, Australia and the United Kingdom
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Ed Doherty
774-479-8831
www.ambroselanden.com
ed-doherty@outlook.com
Forgive any typos please.
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