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Worldwide, we're living in a time of reckoning about inherited and ongoing pain, the values that shape us, and their impact on communities that merely survive, as well as those with distorted understandings of power that prevent their own healing. Every day, the news bombards us with yet another "situation" that begs us to question the status quo and fuels the emergence of conversations—and battles—that are part of the journey of shifting gears and growing our souls.
Reckoning calls for the courage to confront long-standing ways of thinking, including the narratives we convince ourselves of to avoid the anticipated pain of falling apart in the face of truth. Existing in the world with contradictory values or beliefs, and trying to quell the turmoil this creates by any means necessary takes a lot of energy. Systemic oppression has turned that into a predictable machine.
For the oppressed, this can sound like:
"I'm fine and have no time to be feeling things. I need to focus on fixing what's broken and keep it moving. Clearly, I've done this enough times that it means I'm just fine, even if code switching is called for".
This stance can feel empowering because it denies the existence of pain in order to continue functioning within environments not meant for our thriving.
In the oppressors' narrative, the strategy has often involved denying atrocious behavior by inventing justifications that align with how they want to perceive themselves and the forms of power they primarily equate with money, dominance, and control.
In both circumstances, confronting reality feels terrifying.
In the clinical world, we call this cognitive dissonance:
"The longer I tell myself a comforting lie and devise ways of justifying it, the less I have to deal with reality."
Still, truths will always surface, even through our unconscious reactions—not responses—to events that force reality checks.
Responses emerge from thoughtfulness and reflection. Reactivity, on the other hand, is entirely about surviving perceived danger... any kind of danger.
Whew... this is exhausting. Yet people living in survival mode know this experience all too well. Interestingly, this is true in both oppressing and oppressed communities. This is one of the many ways of acknowledging that our humanness is clamoring for healing.
Often, even the impulse to dominate, silence, or deny becomes its own distorted survival strategy—a desperate attempt to avoid confronting painful truths about oneself, one's history, and the impact of one's actions. This does not excuse harm. It simply reminds us that fear, when left unattended, imprisons everyone it touches.
Until we decide, in earnest, to be honest with ourselves and each other within communities that hold safe space for truth-telling to become a healing process, we will continue throbbing in all areas of life. Whether manifested in families, workplaces, organizations, or national and international crises, unattended wounds will continue to infect our experiences of living.
We become imprisoned by fear.
Freedom lives in the moment we recognize that it's time to turn a page.
It is followed by forgiving ourselves for what we did not yet know, or want to know. It lives in allowing ourselves to welcome the support needed for healing, making true amends, transforming mindsets, and cultivating new actions aligned with them.
Oh... there's so much more. Yet this is an honest beginning toward setting ourselves free to become a beneficial presence in this world.
For many, this represents allowing our lives to become a prayer.
Let the promise of living a life that honors the fact that you're here become your guiding compass. The world needs us all to wake up.
At this stage of your life, what would you call freedom?
What would it cost you to avoid the delicious life we deserve to experience simply because we came into this world?
I recently shared some video reflections, in case you'd like to continue this topic with me. One reflection about freedom is about the journey, and the other is a continuation that invites your own reflections to flow...
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