"Lesbians Can Be Free"
{By: Janet Boynes}

"You can't change," he whispers. "You were born this way, and whether you like it or not this is the way you'll be until the day you die. You might as well just accept the way you are and make everybody else accept it too."


Does that line sound familiar?  It should because it dominates our culture today, particularly in the area of sexuality.  This lie convinces millions of individuals-even many of God's own people-that they were born with an attraction for those of their own sex; and it assures them there is nothing they can do about it.


As it is with so many people who have struggled with same-sex attraction, one of the major factors that pulled me into the homosexual lifestyle was the pattern of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse I witnessed and experienced as a child.


Growing up in a home with seven kids fathered by four men, I repeatedly witnessed my single mother being abused by one of her boyfriends. One of those men began abusing me sexually while I was in my early teens.


Those experiences set the pattern for the confusion and despair I would later face. Though I came to Christ as a young adult, enrolled in a Bible college, and even got engaged to a man who loved me and was committed to Christ, the unresolved issues from my past still haunted me. They went to the heart of who I was as a person and as a woman.


I was vulnerable and a prime target for the powers of darkness (Satan) to attack me at that unresolved place in my life. So one night in an unguarded moment, when a woman I worked with initiated a sexual encounter, I went along with it.


Of course, I was immediately filled with shame and condemnation. Even though my fianc´┐Ż forgave me, I couldn't forgive myself, which led me to call off our wedding and isolate myself from those who could truly help me.


At a time when I really needed the security and compassion of the church, as well as mature believers who could stand with me, I made a devastating choice to turn away from God. I had such a strong fear that He had turned His eyes away from me that I never even gave a thought to the possibility there were people who could help me through this and even help me find answers to why I had fallen in the first place.


For the next 14 years I gave myself over to living a lesbian lifestyle, drifting from one unfulfilling relationship to the next. I found nothing but confusion and despair. I mistakenly thought my lesbianism was in my DNA.


I can tell you from personal experience that no matter what people living a homosexual lifestyle say about how happy and fulfilled they are, deep inside they know what they are doing is wrong and destructive.


For me personally, no matter how hard I tried to justify my sin, I never had a moment of true peace.


Because I'd once known the Lord and His saving power, I knew that only He could rescue me. I'd see people on the bus reading their Bibles; and I'd want to run up to them and say, "Could you please help me? I'm a backslidden Christian, and I don't know how to get right with the Lord!"


I know now that while I had let go of God, there was no way He was ever going to let go of me. He still loved me. He still valued me; and even while I was deep in sin, He was working behind the scenes to bring me back to Himself.


The Lord made His move very early one morning through a woman I just happened to meet in a grocery store parking lot. She invited me to a women's Bible study at her church.  These women stood with me, loved me, mentored me, and helped me learn how to pray with power against the temptation of the lesbian lifestyle. 


One of the women even invited me into her home to live for a time where I was able to see how a spiritually and emotionally healthy family lived.


God used these women, their families, and their church to reach out to me at just the right time. I really did want Jesus, but I had no idea how to get back to Him and achieve wholeness.


The truth is, these women were my way back -and that is what I want to emphasize to God's people, to the church. The only way we can effectively help those bound by homosexuality to find forgiveness and freedom is to be there for them and to reach out in mercy.


I can say with certainty that even the most militant gay activists, at their core, are crying for understanding. They want someone just to accept them where they are and not condemn them as being hopeless cases.


I am convinced that the active, prayerful, Spirit-anointed compassion of God's people is the key to bringing deliverance and hope to those caught in the homosexual lifestyle.


If someone had confronted me with a judgmental attitude or even a hint of condemnation, I would have turned away. You see, I already had enough condemnation boiling deep inside me. What I needed most was an active demonstration of God's love and mercy breaking into my prison of sin and guilt.


As Christians, we have a call to actively and aggressively reach out to those who are bound by sin and iniquity and to offer God's forgiveness and cleansing. That's the only way our faith can be relevant to this world. Mercy is the sum total of our message.


I'm convinced that in this day of increasing confusion and moral chaos, it will take a church filled with God's Spirit and authority to effectively battle this tidal wave of evil that threatens to sweep an entire generation into destruction.


In short, it's going to take an army of committed, praying, fasting, and warring Christians who believe in the power of the blood of Jesus to bring salvation, sanctification, and victory to those confused and deceived by the enemy.


I believe emphatically in God's power to transform even the most hopeless individual because I've experienced it so fully in my own life. I know that if Christ can transform me, He can bring that same change to anyone.

Janet Boynes is the author of Called Out: A Former Lesbian's Discovery of Freedom (published by Creation House).  She ministers around the world in churches and conferences, helping others to find freedom in Christ.  For most about her ministry, visit www.janetboynesministries.com.