Every Justice Leaguer down in the Hall of Justice
Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Orange Lantern Larfleeze,
Who lived just North of Gotham, did NOT!
Larfleeze hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that he was exhausted from being in Blackest Night.
It could be, perhaps, that his uniform was too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his power ring was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the League.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his orange projection fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"
And the more that Larfleeze thought of all the gift giving,
"If those gifts can't be mine, I must stop this whole thing!"
I MUST stop Christmas from coming! ...But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
Larfleeze got a Geoff Johns inspired idea!
"I know just what to do!" Larfleeze Laughed in his throat.
And his power ring made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Larfleeze trick!
"With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Orange Lantern Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..." Larfleeze looked around.
But since DC doesn't publish a Rudolph comic any more, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the Orange Lantern?
No! Larfleeze simply said, "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his friend G'Nort. Then he took some orange thread
And he tied a big horn on top of his head.
All the windows were dark at the Hall of Justice.
The League were all dreaming of a major movie release.
He slid down the chimney. A rather tight squeeze.
But if Santa could do it, then so could Larfleeze.
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
He took the Bat-pudding! He took the Bat-Beast!
He cleaned out the icebox as quick as a, ahem, .... flash.
Why, Larfleeze even took their last can of Bat-Hash!
"And NOW!" grinned Larfleeze, "I will stuff up the tree!"
And Larfleeze grabbed the tree, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and surprised, he said "You!"
It was Ray Palmer, The Atom, who stood only 6 inches, plus two!
The Atom said "Santy Claus, why are you taking our tree?
And why are you orange?"
But, you know, Larfleeze was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my mighty mite," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a yellow lantern on this tree that won't light on one side."
And his fib fooled the tiny titan. Then he patted his head
And he got him a drink and he sent him to bed.
Larfleeze packed up the League's presents.
And he flew to the top of the Daily Planet.
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all Justice Leaguers will all cry BOO-HOO!"
"That's a noise," grinned Larfleeze "That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And the Orange Lantern put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He went back to the Hall and nearly popped his eyes!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every member of the League, the Big Three and the subs,
Were singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And Larfleeze, with his feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
Then Larfleeze thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe MINE," he thought, "doesn't mean gifts from a store.
"Maybe MINE...perhaps...means the feeling of giving one gift, or more"
And what happened then...?
Well...on OA they say that Larfleeze's small power ring
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his orange ring didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the Bat-Hash and the food for the feast!
And he......HE HIMSELF...well, he kept everything else.
But is was a start!