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Breathe On Me Breath of God
And Jesus then “breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit’”… (John 20: 22)
These past weeks I’ve been struggling to breathe. I have a small airways disease that makes it difficult to take full, deep breaths all the time. Between the humidity that is frizzing my hair and the Canadian wildfire smoke that is hovering in the air, I’ve been needing to consult phone apps to tell me whether I should go outside or not. A number of days back when my app’s air quality circle was deep orangish-red, and contained the word “warning,” I stayed inside and turned on the air filters. The summer sun was warm and inviting, and our dog was waiting for her walk. But instead, I had to hunker down and do extra breathing treatments.
For many days in a row, the circle’s color shifted to yellow, and “moderate” was written in the middle. Moderate, meaning: not advised for sensitive individuals, like me. I had to decide how badly I wanted to go anywhere, and for how long. My daughter, who has her own respiratory issues, had a golf class so we donned face masks on (just to be able to putt). The smoke particles in the air had lessened, yes, but the ozone was apparently elevated. Good grief! We both needed to be careful.
Dozens of times everyday I’d consult my new EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) app, looking for some blessed green to pop up with the word “good”. I’m not an easy early riser. But on one morning last week, green and “enjoy outside” (in fine print) showed up. I jumped out of bed, put on Mia’s leash and ran out the door. We circled the lake (our typical walk) and then, because I didn’t know how long the green circle would last, we kept on walking. Mia was confused (and panting hard) as we wove in and around the neighborhood, again and again. I was enjoying my deep breaths, the clean air, blue skies, and the dissipating fear that I might do damage to my lungs.
While we walked that day, a hymn came into my head, one that I’ve sang many times over the years in high school and church choirs: “Breathe On Me Breath of God”. As I thought of the song, and tried to remember all its lyrics, I was reminded of how Jesus breathed on the disciples, and told them “receive the Holy Spirit”. I also thought of the many babies of family and friends I witnessed take their first breaths—and my loved ones who took their last—and all the sacred moments that those breaths filled. I realized that I have been lacking in gratitude for the gift of breath in my life. Not just what fills up my alveoli and bronchioles, and makes my lungs expand with needed oxygen for my body; but breath from God, that makes me new, renews me every moment: changes me, forgives me, reinvents me, puts me back on the right path, makes me whole.
When my Holy Yoga teacher (over Zoom) challenges me to breathe in “on a count of three” and “out on a count of three,” I focus on the act of breath expanding my chest, my belly, activating and calming my mind. Breath is often used in meditation practices as a way to center oneself, not just nourish the body. So I had an idea. What if before I prayed (not just when I’m walking outside on “green days”), I practiced breathing first? What if I remembered the verse in John; remembered the song. Inhale: God’s love (1,2,3); exhale: my burdens (1,2,3). Inhale: God’s forgiveness, exhale: my shame. Inhale: God’s renewal of my soul, exhale my profound gratitude. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Then pray or sing…
Breathe on me, Breath of God,
fill me with life anew,
that I may love what thou dost love,
and do what thou wouldst do.
Breathe on me, Breath of God,
until my heart is pure,
until with thee I will one will,
to do and to endure.
Breathe on me, Breath of God,
till I am wholly thine,
till all this earthly part of me
glows with thy fire divine.
Breathe on me, Breath of God,
so shall I never die,
but live with thee the perfect life
of thine eternity.
Amen.
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