Gethsemane Newsletter Bloopers

They say laughter is good for the soul. So, with that in mind, this week we bring you church bulletin bloopers as part of our Weekly Newsletter. We hope these bring you joy and laughter!

Here are a couple for this week that we find creative/especially funny!

•  Who in the Bible knew the most people? Abraham knew a Lot.
• When someone needed a boat made, what did the people in town say? "We Noah guy."
• When preparing for the Feast of Weeks, what did some disciples wonder? "How much is this going to (Pente)cost?"

If you have jokes or funny things you would like seen in the Newsletter, feel free to click the email link attached to Jacob Nehrbass as well as share them with Pastor Jeff!

1 When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. 

2 Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 

3 They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 

4 All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.

5 Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven.

6 When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard their own language being spoken. 

7 Utterly amazed, they asked: “Aren’t all these who are speaking Galileans? 

8 Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native language? 

9 Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, 

10 Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome 

11 (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs—we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!” 

12 Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another, “What does this mean?”

13 Some, however, made fun of them and said, “They have had too much wine.”

It’s that time of year again when God’s creation buds and births new life. Chicks try to follow their mom’s across our streets, our eagle family is plumping up their fledgling to be strong enough to fly. And as of this week, baby mosquitos have started buzzing and bugging us on our patio. But the most amazingly frustrating thing for our three-year-old dog are the bunnies in the backyard. There is a whole warren under our shed. Despite my attempts to put mini-fencing around it, sometime during the winter with all the snow and ice, the black plastic stakes came out (unbeknownst to me) and the rabbits took up residence. 

With the greening of our yard, came the tiny twitching noses and cotton tails of the family frolicking near the fence and feasting on our hostas. Yes, they are adorable—adorable eagle food; adorable eagle food that tease our furry family member. They sit for long periods of time staring at each other: the young rabbits running free and Mia clipped to her chain. 

It really isn’t fair. Yet, temptation isn’t fair, is it?

You see, Mia has an entire fenced in yard to run in, but the rabbits have the run of the place. And, if we were to let her run after the rabbits all day, she would be beside herself, panting like crazy, digging, worrying—we’d never get her back into the house. She would be overtaken with rabbit-fever. But, when I ask my husband what we are to do, he says we will have to “take them out” (not in the sense of removing bunnies gently and placing them somewhere else); more like a line from The Godfather movie. 

Nope, that’s not something I can personally do. If my dad were still here, we would probably buy cages to catch and remove them to some other wilderness home. Gosh, they really are so cute. Or, my husband offers another solution: we could leave it up to our eagle family (and one hungry fledgling), the biological food chain, to see what happens naturally?

Oh, what to do in the meantime. Poor Mia. Even inside the house, she runs from window to window, jumping from bed to couch to chair, standing on her haunches to peer above the pane. Waiting. Just waiting to see if a rabbit might run by. It is an unfair temptation that has literally taken over her days. 

It really isn’t fair. Yet, temptation isn’t fair, is it?

I think about the things in my life that try to grab my attention; try to tempt me—take me away from my life, not in a good way. Become an almost obsession so that I will jump from place to place just to find more. Or, what takes up residence around me or even in myself, that when I look at it, it stares back at me, teasing me out of the calm, grounded, rational me that I try to be—want to be. Something small that tempts me is chocolate. I eat it everyday. Everyday. Really, I must. I used to justify it by the fact I don’t drink coffee or have other forms of caffeine. My daily chocolate is my “caffeine fix,” so I buy bags and bags of tiny gluten- and dairy-free chocolate chips a week.

But a bigger vice that stares back at me (and I try to stare down) is my self-doubt, my self-esteem, my inner critic. The voice in myself that tries to tell me that I’m not worthy. Not worthy, even though I know that God tells me just the opposite. But, I have been chasing that one around my whole life. Just when I think it is gone, it sneaks in through the back gate and is waiting for me to trip up and then it bolts, and of course, like Mia I choke myself on my own chain trying to get it. 

Temptation can come in the form of food or substance or thrill or doubt or danger or worry or so many things. Maybe the temptation is something that is okay for you in small amounts (like my chocolate), can’t hurt you in moderation. Or, maybe it doesn’t appear to be a temptation, because most people seem to do it (or at least those around you do). Then, it’s not really that bad, right? Or it could even be justifiable, logical, like Mia’s temptation. She is a dog (and dogs chase bunnies), so its okay for Mia to be obsessed with running with the rabbits. It’s in her DNA. But her trainer said even Mia can be trained out of her natural instinctive temptations. The cue words we learned from him to tell her are: “Leave it.” She sees a rabbit, and wants to bolt, and we say “Leave it” (and give her a tiny treat if she does).

Could it really be that simple. Temptation is staring at you and you say to yourself: “Leave it”? I walk past the chocolate chips at the store and I say to myself: “Leave it”. My inner critic shows up and I turn around and say, “Leave it.” Any of our temptations (we know what they are) show up and we simply say, “Leave it”…and we can, every single time (with or without a treat).

If only it were that easy. 

But friends, there is good news. The Bible tells us so much about temptation and how to avoid it—how to pray over it; how to not let it pull you in and ruin your life. Remember, even Jesus was tempted while the disciples slept. Temptation is part of our worldly existence and the human condition. Adam and Eve, and the apple and such. We must always remember that God is faithful. We must turn to God and ask for a way out, a different way to handle your situation. How to “Leave it.” 

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Unfortunately, Mia will most likely always be tempted to run with the rabbits, it’s in her genes; and I will have to try to do my best to keep her safe from getting out of our yard and chasing one across a busy road. And as children of God, in Jesus, we know we are also not alone in facing our temptations. In the Lord’s Prayer we are taught to ask God for help: “lead us not into temptation” (help us to not run with the rabbits). Through Jesus, we can gain the strength and wisdom we need to leave our temptations and not look back. Thank you, Jesus!

Amen. 

15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. 

18 Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” 

19 Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”

20 Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) 

21 When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”

22 Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” 

23 Because of this, the rumor spread among the believers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; he only said, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?”

24 This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who wrote them down. We know that his testimony is true.

25 Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

This is the story of Moses. As we continue to talk about finding a more intimate relationship with God, we look toward Moses and the burning bush. Picture the burning bush, with the voice of God calling out to Moses, “Moses, Moses!” The flames coming from it seen as purity, miracle, and luminescence. Imagine the flames dancing like a thousand tongues in oranges, reds, yellow and hot blues. God’s voice booming from within it. Notice, like Moses, that the bush is burning but was not being destroyed. 

It is interesting to find out that the burning bush itself was made of thorns, also representing are humanity as sinners. The prick of sin; like the thorns in the crown on Christ’s head, when He hung on the cross for us. Realize, too, that the fire in the bush showed God’s power—power over the thorns, over sin, over everything—but it didn’t consume it. This fire was not to cause peril or teach lessons like in the Flood, or the Plagues of the Bible. The image of the fire was purifying, humbling Moses to bow down, causing him to listen. And God taught Moses reverence, telling him to take off his sandals for he was walking on Holy Ground. In God’s presence, this is holy ground.

 God called Mose by name. “Here I am,” Moses told God. Here I am. 

The image of the Lord came to Moses in the flame and he was never the same. It changed his countenance. How could it not? Do you remember when you first gave your life to God, to Jesus? How it changed you? Now, God could have come to Moses as a sparrow in a tree, too, meeting him where he was at. Like God might show up for us in many ways: in nature, through voices of others. Someone in the market telling us we are special. Although we might not see a bush in flames or hear the boom of God’s voice coming from it, our burning bush (and our call from God) can come in many forms. And it will come. We are told that we are all born with a purpose as we are reminded in Jeremiah 29:11 “for I know the plans I have for you…” and God is in the habit of reminding us of our purpose, in different ways, every day. We just need to be open to receiving it, like Moses.

God called Moses, and so Moses went. Sometimes God will call us and we don’t answer, or we turn away. It’s a willful choice. We must stay tuned into God, and when we hear the call, say “yes Lord.” And, it might not be an easy task we are called into. When Moses said, “here I am,” God told him to go to the Pharaoh and free God’s people out of Egypt. We all know what worry and insecurity Moses must have felt at such an enormous ask from God.

Have you ever been called by God, or got an inkling of something that God wanted you to do that you but felt it was too big for you to accomplish, so you refused? Moses asks later, “who am I to send me?” We recognize that type of doubt in our own callings. Who are we to take on the tasks that God desires? But God gave Moses the assurance of strength, fortitude and God’s presence with him in his journey. So we must trust that God, in relationship with us, will be with us too. The relationship of trusting God, that no task is too big, when God is with us. 

And God gives all of us intentions and visions on how to minister to God’s people, how to serve, how to spread the word of God to others. Sometimes, as with minister Beverly and her husband, it might be at a global level; sometimes serving multitudes selflessly and tirelessly (like our friend Randy); and other times it might simply be praying over someone you meet at a mall store. Whatever God says, whatever God tells you you should do…do it! Don’t be afraid that you can’t handle it. Tap into your relationship with God; lean into the relationship that God wants to have with you. One of complete trust. Sit and listen to God in addition to just telling God your worries, or asking for God’s help (although God wants us to do this too). And, share the news of Christ with everyone, because after all the Bible tells us “we are all ministers of reconciliation.”

So what do we do so that we can see “our burning bush” from God? And what do we do once our burning bush shows up? (Or the sparrow in the tree, or someone asking for our help…)

1. Shine the light of Jesus wherever you go.
2. Be a “Moses”: obedient and present for God.
3. When God calls you by name, you can say “Here I am!”
4. Follow your call without fear, knowing God’s strength and fortitude AND presence are with you.