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Gladiators,
It was a warm day in mid-May. I was train-wrecked from my week and curious about how to live it up on the weekend.
I needed to be refreshed, however I was so used to feeling sorry for myself on the weekends that I never gave myself a chance to step it up in the "fun" category of my life.
God showed me this was a weakness in my life and helped me conquer it. Here's how.
I don't know about you, but the last few years were rough for me. I went through a few setbacks that rattled my identity. I had spent so many weekends working that I became so stressed out at the thought of having free time so instead of doing anything, I decided to do NOTHING.
The truth was, deep down I had a desire to maximize my weekends and live them out to the fullest but i was too afraid to admit I didn't really know how to have fun anymore.
The first step for me was that I wrote down on a piece of paper "this month I will budget $100 for fun activities".
The budget never lies. It gave me comfort to know that I could give myself space in the fun areas of my life without questioning if it was going to negatively affect me financially.
Use this wisdom, the first step to any small change is to budget time and money for it.
The next thing I did was open my ear to listen to where the wind blew. What I discovered was that it was blowing me to go shopping for new clothes that supported my new identity as a weight loss warrior and a masterpiece in the marketplace.
For years, I was so insecure about my body and how I looked that I never looked at myself in the mirror so i didn't even care about what i was wearing.
But now, things were different. By grace through faith I took a step of confidence out on the deep water. I journeyed to H&M with $85 in my hand.
When I walked into the store, I was greeted by a kind man who I politely brushed off. I spent the next 45 minutes taking deep breathes and slowly meandering throughout the store.
Here's what I did when I went shopping...
- I didn't rush. I took my time and asked myself "could I see myself getting excited about wearing this in public?"
- I asked questions I didn't know the answer to. I know myself. And I know that if I don't know where something is, instead of searching to find it I can get defeated and walk away before I give myself the chance to try it on. I have to remember that the store employees are there to help me.
- I took selfies in the mirror of the stall. It helps me have more fun.
That day, I walked out with a few staple items in my hand. More importantly than that, I felt comfortable with myself again. And I was happy I had a lifestyle that made me feel worthy.
You're a King, this is what King's do. They shop for things they like. The truth is, it was the most effective thing I'd ever done for my optimism all year.
When you get an outfit you like, it is one of the most confidence boosting things EVER! You're not just denying yourself for a moment, you're denying yourself for the rest of the year. In the future, there are going to be times where you feel discouraged to go socialize but you will always remember the promise you made to yourself that you were worth buying an incredible outfit for. You are basically ensuring that you are going to be courageous not just in the moment but for future moments to come!
Savor these moments. These are the moments that make you feel the most proud about your effort.
In your service,
Adam
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