Dear Reader,

When was the last time you made a group decision and all were in complete agreement? How did that feel? It probably felt good in the short term, but there may be a nagging feeling more conversation was needed for deeper thinking.

Agreement does not always yield fruitful decision making; disagreements can be productive when defining strategic goals. We strive for alignment when we're building consensus within a group.

Agreement Versus Alignment

We’re often hired to work with families and corporate teams to build a common vision, mission and strategic goals around philanthropy. This work is hard; everyone brings their own experience and perspective which can bring disagreements to the surface. Facilitating discussions to build common ground requires everyone in the room to dig deep to have hard conversations.

Effective ways we do this:

• Create an outlet for decision makers to share their perspectives 1:1 with a facilitator.
• Share with the decision making group what others are thinking and feeling at a high level.
• Create a retreat style setting where decision makers can build consensus on a common vision, mission and strategic goals grounded in shared values.
• Invite all voices into the conversation.

How to Have Hard Conversations

David Brooks’ book How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen uncovers how to have hard conversations. He reminds readers how to build the muscle of being a good conversationalist. How do you move past making statements directed at each other and begin to understand another’s point of view?

• Be a Loud Listener: Use body language and verbal cues to show others that you are actively listening.
• Lean in on the Familiar: Find topics that are comfortable to the person with whom you’re speaking. Ask about their hobbies/interests, their families, a recent trip etc.
• Embrace the Pauses: Allowing for hang time in a conversation will allow for reflection and important shifts to happen.
• Reflect Back: Offer your insights into what you understand the other person is saying. This helps them clarify their points and deepens your understanding too.

These may all seem obvious, but they’re critical building blocks to build alignment around a philanthropic mission. When people feel deeply understood, common ground is more quickly found; families and corporate teams are stronger for it; and they build skills to navigate tough issues that will inevitably arise. Do not let hard conversations be a barrier in making decisions around effective philanthropy.

What's Inspiring Us?

• Gates Foundation CEO Calls on Philanthropists to Step Up Giving To Save and Improve Millions of Lives (3 minute read)

Gates Foundation CEO Mark Suzman writes, “Today’s world has no shortage of complex problems to be tackled or innovators ready to take them on. But without generous investment and persistent support, great ideas remain just that: ideas. If more people step up their commitments and focus their resources on the areas of greatest need, those ideas can translate to impact.”

• Holy City Homelessness (30 minute listen)

Newly released podcast series Frogmore Stew features Stacey Denaux, CEO of One180 Place. Stacey shares real time solutions to ending homelessness and housing issues for South Carolinians. We found the podcast informative and illuminating. Thank you, Grace Cowan, for creating this podcast series!

• High Point Discovered (49 minute listen)

Our client, Megan Oglesby, Executive Director of the Earl + Kitty Congdon Family Foundation is in conversation with leaders from High Point Discovered. Together, they explore the power of collaboration across sectors to uplift and revitalize the City of High Point. It is a terrific illustration of how place based philanthropy is effectively done.

• The Washington Post: The Wealth Transfer from Baby Boomers Mostly Benefits Women (10 minute read)

GPA is excited to see what the future holds as women continue to take charge of their growing wealth and financial well being. Studies show women are more likely to give to women and girls' causes; currently less than 2% of philanthropy flows to women and girls' causes.

Stay tuned for more! March 8th is International Women's Day where the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women will be celebrated.

We're closing out the month at the Annual Conference for the North Carolina Network of Grantmakers. We'll be in conversation with the Laughing Gull Foundation about time horizons of family foundations.