Dear Friends,

A few years ago I wrote a short piece for MyJewishLearning about Jewish perspectives on aging, a topic that has long been dear to me. The upshot of that article is that our tradition has long sought to push back against the impulse–eternally present and perhaps especially acute in times of rapid change, like ours–to treat our elders as expendable. This is a terrible danger and a grave hilul hashem–an affront to God, about whose loyal subjects we often sing on Friday night, “They will be still verdant in old age, they will be fresh and fragrant, to proclaim Adonai is just, my rock in whom there is no flaw.” (Psalm 92). The image of God, so says the Psalmist, is an indelible feature of the human being, and its brilliance remains undimmed and generative for as long as life persists.   

One of the wonderful benefits of working in the rabbinate–and I often find myself boasting about this to my non-rabbi friends–is that my job consistently offers me the opportunity to build deep friendships with people of all ages. This is a true privilege and rare and I try not to take it for granted. It is also one of the great potential benefits of being involved in synagogue, though it is a blessing that is not always evenly distributed among members of any given community.

During the upcoming year at the Learning Center, Ana and I aim to build more intergenerational conversations into the experience of our students. We hope to offer our bnai mitzvah students and their families opportunities to learn from and spend time with our elders; likewise, we’re hoping to offer elders in our community an opportunity to share in the lives of our Learning Center families as they approach a major milestone in their Jewish lives. The program, which is still taking shape, will include opportunities to share stories, to learn together, and to host one another for Shabbat meals. We’ll have more details soon, but if you’d like to participate in any way, please reach out to me or Ana in the coming weeks. 

Kol tuv,

Rabbi Benjamin Resnick 

Ben

“The Torah that Moses commanded us is the legacy of the assembly of Jacob.”

—Deuteronomy 33:4

As I sit to write these words, we arrive once more at the close of another meaningful year at the Learning Center. And yet, as always, this doesn’t feel like an ending—it feels like a new beginning already taking shape. I’m already looking ahead to the fall, to another opportunity to grow, connect, and learn together.

I find deep inspiration in the final parasha of the Torah, Vezot HaBracha, which—fittingly—ends without a true ending. In it, Moses offers his final blessings to the people of Israel, delivered in poetic verses, each one carrying the weight and wonder of our people’s journey. One of those verses, which we sing each Shabbat as we return the Torah to the ark, says:

“Torah tzivah lanu Moshe, morashah kehilat Ya’akov.”

“The Torah that Moses commanded us is the legacy of the community of Jacob.”

That verse encapsulates my deepest hope for our students: that wherever life takes them, they carry a piece of Torah in their hearts—something they learned this year from their teachers and experiences at the Learning Center.

Rabbi Resnick once told our students, “Always know a piece of Torah by heart, so that even if you're alone on a deserted island, you’ll have something sacred to hold onto.” Recently, during a lesson on the prayer Modeh Ani, a student quoted this very teaching. At that moment, I thought, “Our work here is done.” But almost instantly, I knew the truth: “Our work is just beginning.”

Each year, during the final week of school, we ask our 4th through 6th graders for feedback. Rabbi Resnick and I read every response carefully, always moved by their thoughtfulness and sincerity.

This year, their reflections brought us so much joy. They love the Learning Center—they said so in their own words, anonymously and freely. They deeply value our teachers, our hands-on, experiential approach, and above all, the opportunity to learn about Torah, Jewish values, our shared history, and the story of Israel. Their thirst for knowledge is the greatest gift we could receive as educators.

Some of our most powerful moments this year came as we paused to learn about the hostages. After each release, we took time to honor their stories, watch short clips, and reflect on their return. While we would of course prefer a world where this learning isn’t necessary, it meant so much to know our students found it meaningful. These moments reminded us: Jewish learning is not abstract. It is real, emotional, and deeply human.

One area where students voiced challenge was with Tefilah. Some said the Hebrew was difficult. Others described it as repetitive or hard to connect with. We take their concerns seriously and will continue to explore how to make prayer more meaningful. But I also believe this is a shared journey—one that extends beyond the classroom.

Prayer, like any spiritual practice, becomes most meaningful when it’s part of a lived experience—something we do not only on Tuesday afternoons, but as part of a larger rhythm of Jewish life. When families gather for Shabbat services on Friday night or Saturday morning, something powerful happens: the words of prayer come alive.

Rabbi Resnick and I continue to ask ourselves: how can we encourage more families to join us for these moments? We know it’s not easy. Hebrew can feel foreign. The service may feel hard to follow. But the less we engage with it, the harder it becomes to feel at home in it. We welcome your ideas—your creativity, your openness—as we work together to build a deeper connection to prayer and to community.

I want to share something personal. When my father passed away 13 years ago, I committed to saying Kaddish for him every day for 11 months. I was nervous about it—unsure how it would feel to recite the same words, day in and day out. But what I discovered was transformative: each day, the same words carried new meaning. Some days they brought tears, other days strength. In time, those words held me. The daily practice of prayer became a wellspring of healing and resilience.

Saying Kaddish wasn’t just about mourning my father—it was about anchoring myself in community. Each time I heard others respond “Amen,” I felt their support. And over time, I became a support for others. That’s what prayer can be: not only words we say, but a sacred circle we step into—a space of connection, compassion, and shared humanity.

Malcolm Gladwell wrote, “Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good.” I would say the same about prayer. It’s not just about knowing the words—it’s about showing up. Being present. Offering your voice so someone else can feel heard. And in doing so, we create something beautiful together.

As we close this school year, my wish for our students is simple and heartfelt:

May they discover in prayer a space for reflection, connection, and hope.

May they carry with them the legacy of Torah—not only as knowledge, but as a guide, a comfort, and a source of strength.

And may we all continue to grow together, drawing from the deep well of our tradition to build a future filled with meaning, belonging, and light.

B’shalom,



Ana

“Will it Make the Boat Go Faster?”

-- The Gap and the Gain, by Dan Sullivan

One of my go-to books when I need to redirect how I am thinking about things is The Gap and the Gain, by Dan Sullivan.

The premise, in its most basic terms, is that we tend to live in the gap, defining what we do and where we are by outside guideposts. Instead, we should be living in the gain, defining what we do and where we are by what’s important to us, by those things that align with our own individual values.



The book describes techniques for keeping focused on the gain. One of these techniques is to create filtering systems by which we can assess if what we are about to do serves our inner purpose or needs. The story used to illustrate this is about the British rowing team and their quest to win a Olympic gold medal. Britain hadn't won a medal since 1912 and with the 2000 Sydney Olympics approaching, the team developed a one question filtering response for every decision they made. With every opportunity, decision, or obstacle the question was this, “Will it make the boat go faster?"

If they were tempted to party too much, eat the wrong foods, stay up too late, they

asked themselves “will it make the boat go faster?” When the answer was no, the decision was no. They committed to this process and I don’t have to tell you that yes, they killed at the Olympics and won the gold.

I have used and continue to use this filtering system as a metaphor for so many

choices I have to make. I have introduced this to my work colleagues. If we are ever at

crossroads about anything, one of us will inevitably turn to the other and say this will not make the boat go faster and the conversation ends. We all know what it means. The decision is no.

The PJC Gala is this weekend. Our Fundraising Chair, Marjut Herzog, and her team have been working tirelessly to make this a spectacular evening. There isn’t a detail that hasn’t been vetted, analyzed, scrutinized and polished, all so we can enjoy time with friends. The honorees, Larry Cohen, Diane Cohen, Beth Yelsey, Michael Dvorkin and Michelle Dvorkin are individuals who alone and collectively have shown nothing but sincere dedication and commitment to our community. They have and continue to embody all those attributes that make our proverbial PJC boat go faster.

I look forward to celebrating them with everyone on Sunday. Hope to see you there.

Lisa

Dear Friends,

Every Shabbat, during the Torah Service, we say a prayer for those who serve our community. We pray for those who helped establish the PJC, for those who enter the PJC and pray, those who give funds for heat and light and wine for Kiddush and Havdalah; bread to the wayfarer and charity to the poor; and all those who devotedly involve themselves with the needs of this community and Israel. The upcoming 2025 PJC Gala fundraiser is an opportunity to fulfill this prayer. What's more, the Gala is a means to connect with our fellow congregants in a relaxed and carefree venue.

Please join us this Sunday, May 18th, at The PJC - 5:30 pm for cocktails, appetizers and a dairy dinner or at 7:30 pm for the dessert/reception featuring the Mellow Fellows Jazz Band.

We will be honoring Larry & Diane Cohen for their contribution to Community Leadership Gimilut Chasadim, Michael & Michelle Dvorkin for Community Service Tikkun Olam and Beth Yelsey, our Woman of Valor Eshet Chayil.

If you haven't already done so, you can register for the PJC Fundraiser Gala at thepjcgala.org or contact Marjut Herzog.

I look forward to seeing you there.

Barbara

Hill of Secrets

by Galina Vromen

Set during the fraught years of the creation of the atomic bomb, Hill of Secrets takes an unusual tack by viewing Los Alamos from the perspective of the wives and daughters of the researchers who are left in the dark about why they have been uprooted from their lives and covertly shipped to the New Mexico desert.

These women are well-educated, strong-willed, ambitious and not used to being kept in the dark. They provide a human face to the frenzied, theoretical undertaking their husbands and fathers are caught up in.

Christine, forced to abandon her art restoration business in New York for her husband's career advancement, struggles to reinvent herself and cope with his increasing aloofness.

Gertie, the inquisitive teenage daughter of a German Jewish refugee physicist, enlists Christine to help her unravel hidden truths and live with parents haunted by their past.

Gertie's father, Kurt, anguished by what the Nazis have done to his family and bent on defeating them, carries burdens he longs to share but cannot confide in his wife - leading him to find comfort elsewhere.

And Jimmy, a young army technician, falls for Gertie but is unsure if even her deep affection can overcome his agonizing self-doubts.

Galina Vromen paints real and imagined characters with warmth and honesty - depicting both their genius and human foibles to create a compelling historical novel.

Barbara

Meet Larry and Diane Cohen

Gemilut Chasadim - Community Leadership

And Their Contrasting Paths To Judaism

Larry grew up in Cleveland, Ohio living the contradiction of American Judaism of the mid-twentieth century - on one hand, assimilated, yet attending an Orthodox Hebrew School three days a week. Diane did not grow up with Judaism in her childhood home in Phoenix Arizona, although her first best friend was Jewish. Nevertheless, Diane was influenced by Judaism from a young age.

Larry Cohen

I became a veterinarian and left Ohio to do an internship at the Animal Medical Center in NYC in the 1980s. My Cleveland family mostly dispersed, and my path took me from Ohio to New York to Arizona and then back to New York permanently in 1992. My wife, Diane and I bought a house in Pelham by chance, and at the first newcomers gathering sponsored by the local realtors, we met Joel and Shelli Peck, two of our dearest friends to this day. We joined the PJC in the mid-1990s, knowing we would want a landing spot as we had two young children. My earliest memory of the PJC is of the engaging and moving singing on Friday nights with Rabbi Borodowsky.

The PJC gave us a community to love and, I believe, gave my family the grounding in our Judaism that we may not have otherwise embraced. We found community, religion, ritual and tradition, family and friends. Diane became quite involved during our kids’ Learning Center years and I have held many roles at the PJC. I was first on the Board of Directors as the House Chairperson, then I served two terms as President. My first term as President saw our Board and membership deeply engaged in developing our core vision, mission and values statement. This was a very large undertaking that included everyone at the PJC. The Aspirations pamphlet still guides the PJC and is on the table in the hallway. My second term involved a time of rabbi transition, always a challenge. It has been an honor to be a member of this community and to serve on the Board in various capacities.

Recently I was on a tour of the Tenement Museum in Manhattan. Before the tour began, our tour guide asked us to think of something other than our actual house and nuclear family, that came to mind when she said the word ‘home’. For me, that was the Pelham Jewish Center: a focal point of our world for the past 25 years. The PJC is my comfort food: safe, reassuring, grounding, warm and embracing.

Diane Cohen 

I was raised Catholic in Phoenix, Arizona. My religious up-bringing included weekly Sunday mass with my mother and brothers, and weekly CCD classes. One thing I noticed at a very young age was that curiosity/questions were not welcomed in those classes. 

When I met my future husband, Larry, he expressed a wish to raise his children in a Jewish home. While Larry’s family certainly identified as Jewish, they were not particularly observant. So, I asked him why this was important to him. He didn’t have a strong reason, other than it felt important to him. Since it was also important to me that our future family be united in terms of faith, Larry and I took a class together on Intro to Judaism. I was thrilled to find out that questions were welcomed, indeed encouraged! I took my conversion classes soon after.

Our son, Daniel, had his Bar Mitzvah in 2003. Daniel had originally worked with a rabbi who was outside the PJC . She taught a group of local Jewish students who would go on the “share” a B’nai Mitzvot, in a large venue, to accommodate all the families and friends of the 4-5 kids who would become a B’nai Mitzvot at the same time. When Daniel learned that was the case, he said he preferred to have his own Bar Mitzvah. I explained to him that it would be twice weekly (vs once a week) Hebrew school, and it would require his attendance at services periodically, particularly during the year before his Bar Mitzvah. He said that would be just fine. I then told him I didn’t want to hear any complaints once he was enrolled. He agreed. And I must say, he kept his word and never had a single negative thing to say throughout that experience. We decided to enroll Erin at the same time-and she went on to become a madricha years later when she was in High School.

There were two things that happened simultaneously that impacted my Jewish life/identity; I, along with Bob Goldman, worked on the renovations at the PJC for a year and half, starting back in 2004 (and wherever Bob is, Sandra is close by, so I got to know them both better). And Rabbi Schuck came to the PJC, with Tali and infant Noam.   

Our family became more observant when Rabbi Schuck became the rabbi at the PJC, which was about two years before the time Erin was preparing for her Bat Mitzvah. Since our congregation was displaced during those two years of renovation, it was very exciting to see Erin, along with her classmates Sarah Weissman, and Sarah Abeshouse, be the first three B’nai Mitzvot services in the newly renovated PJC. That was a moment I won’t forget, as Bob and I were on a deadline to get the shul up and running for the High Holidays that year. Phew!

I participated in quite a few smaller collaborations over the years; Midnight Runs, a Hanukah Gift Shop (something I replicated from the holiday shop at Siwanoy School, where the kids could buy holiday gifts for their families), packing and delivering Mishloach Manot bags, sending care packages to our PJC college students over the high holidays, packing and delivering boxes of food to the elderly, and lots more. Each time I donated my time; I found I had really enjoyed the company of all my new PJC acquaintances. 

Since I spent so much time at the PJC during the early 2000s, it was a time where we became more familiar with a larger group of people, which have become our dear friends - more accurately, we think of them as family. We have traveled with, celebrated with, mourned with, and held them close through life’s twists and turns, for the last twenty plus years. And growing up with three brothers, and myself the only girl, I always wished for a sister – and now I have several! Along with some extra brothers, as well. 

Who knew that the PJC would bring such joy into my life?!? I cannot overstate the richness that both Judaism and the PJC have brought to my life, and the life of my family…, even my Catholic mother thought the PJC was fantastic!

-Larry & Diane Cohen

Jerusalem

by Yehuda Amichai

On a roof in the Old City

laundry hanging in the late afternoon sunlight:

the white sheet of a woman who is my enemy,

the towel of a man who is my enemy,

to wipe off the sweat of his brow.

In the sky of the Old City

a kite.

At the other end of the string,

a child

I can't see

because of the wall.

We have put up many flags,

they have put up many flags.

To make us think that they're happy.

To make them think that we're happy.

Translated by Stephen Mitchell

Support The PJC This Sunday, May 18th

5:30 pm at the PJC

for lovely cocktails, appetizers, and a dairy dinner 

7:30 Dessert/ Reception at The PJC

featuring The Mellow Fellows Jazz Band

"Share a Simcha" allows congregants to share their news with our PJC community. Please submit news about family members -- engagements, births, job updates, kid achievements, community acknowledgements and any other milestones -- to the HaKol Editor, Barbara Saunders-Adams.

. Mazal Tov to our May Birthday Celebrants:

Daniel Perkis, Alec Cecil, Joan Sasson, Vivienne Garvett, Julian Kushnick, Florence Grossman, Aiden Levy, Evan Lanoil, Jeniece Ilkowitz, Chauncy Lodhi, Darren Lee, Rhonda Singer, Matthew Bernstein, Marc Mazur, Morris Stampfer, Alina Levine, Barry Goldenberg, Neil Yelsey, Frederica Sigel, Hazel Smyser, Steve Liesman, Sari Schulman, Adam Ilkowitz, Susan Simpson, Noam Gretz, Ethan Cochie, Peter Wies, Sofie Trachten, Diane Cohen, Joshua Holtzman, Sarah Weissman, Dan Calles, Benjamin Garvett, Zachary Ehrenreich, Zara Levy

. Mazal Tov to Rabbi Benjamin Resnick on his being named a finalist for the 2025 Sami Rohr Prize in Jewish literature. The Sami Rohr Prize is awarded annually to "an emerging writer who demonstrates the potential for continued contribution to the world of Jewish literature." Resnick is a finalist for Next Stop, which tales place after a black hole has consumed the country of Israel and antisemitism has gripped the world.

. Mazal Tov on the return of Edan Alexander after 584 days captivity in Gaza

Share a Simcha is a regular HaKol feature, so keep your news and updates coming!

Tributes

Donations

. Shelley & Alfred Klein in memory of Adam Abeshouse

Billing statements are emailed monthly. 

Checks made out to the Pelham Jewish Center can be mailed to Pelham Jewish Center, P.O. Box 418, Montvale, NJ 07645. Credit card payment instructions are on your monthly emailed billing statement, or go to https://thepjc.shulcloud.com/payment.php. 

If you are interested in paying via appreciated securities or IRA distributions, please email Mitch Cepler.

It is the policy of the Pelham Jewish Center to make every effort to assist members experiencing financial challenges. Financial challenges should never be a barrier to being an active member of the PJC community. You can reach out to President, Lisa Neubardt, Treasurer, Mitchell Cepler or Rabbi Benjamin Resnick to speak confidentially concerning your ability to pay PJC dues and Learning Center tuition.