Hands up, Open Heart – the sublime subversiveness of surrender

Greetings!

You know there are a lot of fridge magnets of coaching wisdom out there? Some bleat “Believe in yourself” like you'd never considered it an option. 


But one psychically “dinged” for me the other day. It said, “Transformation happens on the other side of surrender” and I didn't know whether it irked or quirked within me.

Surrender suggests waving the white flag, arms up and a resignation that nothing else can be done. You've thrown in the towel with “I give up” drop-shouldered defeat yet the quote in question suggested something wonderful awaits the conquered. 

Victory through giving up, though? Time for a deep dive.

It struck me how often I will not give in and opt for wrestling, anguishing and Chinese-burning the heck out of something to not let it get one over on me.

Do you also seek explanation, closure or meaning in tough times and more often than not (spoiler alert) there really is no answer?

Well, nothing neat and palatable anyway, and so the conflict continues.

Seconds away round 79! Control be mine!

Surrender takes courage.

Life's issues can be as uncomfortable as a pebble in your shoe or it can become a boulder on your shoulder when grief, confusion and unexpected change can weigh so heavily your knees buckle and your heart is fit to burst.

Coaches, counsellors and friends can help but sometimes we come to the end of the line with solutions and spills. So, what if you just handed it on to God, The Universe, the CEO in the sky, the wind or Yoda to deal with it?

To surrender is to trust the future with your hands unclenched; it’s a weirdly intimate thing, like letting someone else pick the film and finding you love it!

Yielding and going with the flow takes faith and creates space. It frees you from resistance and allows peace and grace to flow.

Letting go of what you can't control first takes mindfulness, noticing and then making the decision to no longer struggle or suffer. 

Acceptance becomes your new default, and you notice how good that feels.

The Surrender Box

If you feel you want to “let go” or release your struggles but prayer or meditation is not for you then select a lovely box and write down all your struggles and strife and place it in the receptacle and put a lid on it.

This way you are acting and letting a greater good know we are willing to surrender and hand over that which we can't control or deal with.

When time has passed, revisit your box and re-read your notes. You may find that with grace and surrender the storm did pass with an ease that freed us from pain and anxiety.

Faith takes courage and as Marian Williamson says, “Surrender is not at the end of life, it is at the beginning”.



I see it as a mischievous and subversive new hobby. Hands up, tools down and life gets lighter, and, delightfully weirder.