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Among the secular holidays, Thanksgiving stands out as a time when we tend to focus on the past, memories of Thanksgiving gatherings and family celebrations from our youth. For many, it is a day to reflectively understand what our parents and family members mean to us. Sure, they made a few mistakes, but who doesn’t? Maybe they were not everything we wanted them to be, but as we grew older it was amazing how much they learned (with a nod to Mark Twain)! One’s maturity is directly linked to the moment he/she is able to finally reconcile childhood issues of growing up with a love for those closest to us.
It took the patriarch Jacob 20 years to learn this lesson. Fearing a reprisal from his brother Esau for cheating him out of his birthright and later his blessing, Jacob runs away from home taking refuge with his Uncle Laban. After twenty years, two wives, two handmaids, twelve sons, and one daughter, Jacob approaches his uncle and requests, “Give me leave to go back to my own homeland (Gen. 30:25).” Having nurtured his own large family and acquired great wealth, Jacob realizes an emptiness still exists; a longing to re-connect with his brother and those who made his life possible. It was time to go home.
Thanksgiving is about going home! It is about re-visiting memories of good times and bad with the people who shaped our lives. Unlike a birthday, anniversary, or even Hanukkah celebration, people seldom bring material gifts to the Thanksgiving table, instead they bring something more important. . .themselves. The gift brought on Thanksgiving is another chance to love and be loved, to cherish and be cherished, by those who, in spite of disappointments, still mean a great deal to us. It is no surprise that Thanksgiving is the busiest time of year for the travel industry. Human beings possess an innate desire to re-connect.
The meaning of Thanksgiving, the significance of “going home,” is captured in the words of Rabbi Harold Kushner who shares the following story:
“I was sitting on a beach one summer day, watching two children, a boy and a girl, playing in the sand. They were hard at work building an elaborate sand castle by the water’s edge, with gates and towers and moats and internal passages. Just when they had nearly finished their project, a big wave came along and knocked it down, reducing it to a heap of wet sand. I expected the children to burst into tears, devastated by what had happened to all their hard work. But they surprised me. Instead, they ran up the shore away from the water, laughing and holding hands, and sat down to build another castle. I realized that they had taught me an important lesson. All the things in our lives, all the complicated structures we spend so much time and energy creating, are built on sand. Only our relationships to other people endure. Sooner or later, the wave will come along and knock down what we have worked so hard to build up. When that happens, only the person who has somebody’s hand to hold will be able to laugh.”
Rabbi Howard Siegel
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