I am back with you after a short break for some work-related travel and for the Jewish high holy days. I am happy to share a short essay I originally wrote for the Chronicle of Higher Education’s special forum on presidential leadership. The Chronicle’s version did not include everything I had written, so I am sharing the original version.

I am often asked for advice about dealing with negative emotions at work. Today I tackle “defensiveness”—both our own and that of others we encounter. At its heart, defensiveness is a reactive strategy to avoid taking responsibility for a problem by deflecting the cause of it onto someone else—often the person who pointed out the problem.

Feeling defensive is a normal human response to criticism. When we feel threatened or unsafe, our instinct is to close ourselves up, hide our insecurities, and flee or fight. As a leadership practice however, defensiveness does not work. When a leader instinctively lashes out in response to criticism, they appear weaker not stronger. Not only that, but the heat of defensive anger overshadows any learning the leader might gain from the criticism. And, most worryingly, if we develop a reputation for meeting every criticism with immediate denial, the people around us will stop offering their best advice and honest counsel.

So how can we respond to criticism in more productive ways? When warranted, there is nothing more effective than a sincere acknowledgment or apology. When the criticism is unjustified or misplaced, there are graceful ways to stand your ground without lashing out defensively. A few phrases I have found helpful to use when I feel unjustifiably criticized: “I can see you and I are looking at this from different points of view, let’s see if we can understand each other better;” “Your concerns about the outcome are reasonable but this course of action is still better than the alternative;” and “Thanks for the reminder that I am sometimes inadvertently unclear. Let’s try again.”

Don’t underestimate the wisdom of simply saying, “I will need to think about your comment before I can respond to it.” Giving yourself some time to process your own negative feelings can make your response calmer and more accurate.

If you find yourself regularly dealing with a defensive person, it can be helpful to think about the well of fear that underlies their reactions. Are they worried that one mistake will sink them? Are they bound up in the ego response of always needing to appear as the smartest or best person in the room? What do they think will happen if they admit to an error or even acknowledge that other points of view might be useful? Understanding their particular vulnerability can help you maneuver around it. When the defensive person is someone you otherwise like or support, you might see if you can assist them in feeling safer in admitting errors. One question that can be helpful here is: “What is the worst thing that could happen if you are wrong?” The answer is rarely as devastating as our unconscious thinks it to be.

Questions for reflection: What sparks your own defensiveness? How might you practice responding more effectively? Who is the most defensive person you work with regularly? What strategies can you adopt to limit the negative effect their anger has on you?

I had the pleasure of visiting Memphis in September for the final convening of our Legacies of American Slavery Project. Held at the National Civil Rights Museum, the conference brought campus project teams, scholars, activists, journalists, and others together for three days of reflection and inspiration. Many of the sessions were streamed and are available online for viewing. We are grateful to the Mellon Foundation for their support.

Our team is gearing up for our annual Institute for Chief Academic Officers. I look forward to seeing many newsletter readers there. More than 500 chief academic officers, deans, and other academic affairs officers will gather in Portland, OR, on November 1–4. As usual, we have a packed schedule of panels, presentations, workshops, affinity group gatherings, and informal discussion sessions. There’s also plenty of time to network, spend time with old friends, and even get a bit of mental and spiritual refreshment. Session topics include innovation on a shoestring budget, effective models of shared governance, AI and the liberal arts, navigating difficult conversations, ensuring inclusive excellence, successful leadership transitions, and more. A special track this year dives deep into expanding educational opportunities for incarcerated people.

A Spark of Inspiration

Carl Jung famously coined the term “synchronicity” to describe the psychological experience of encountering two or more events that feel meaningfully related even though they have no discernable causal link. While my rational mind might reject such experiences as mere coincidence, I have learned that paying close attention to my phenomenal encounter with synchronicity often leads to new insights and pleasurable new trails of thought.

Recently I was delighted to record an episode of the new EdUP Provost podcast, helmed by provost extraordinaire, Gregor Thuswaldner. He ends his podcast interviews by asking for a book recommendation for academic leaders. I shared that one of my “go to” books—and one I regularly gift to new leaders—is Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. This stoic classic is a master class in learning how to separate ego and emotion from the core work of leading with integrity and vision. To my surprise, Gregor noted that this ancient classic is one that he, too, turns to regularly. In fact, he said he reads a section of it daily, as an inspiration for his work. Our shared love for a relatively obscure book added an element of pleasure to our conversation and made it seem more “cosmic” and meaningful.

Later that evening, my husband, Larry, happened to share with me a section of an upcoming issue of the newsletter he writes for his colleagues and clients. Lo and behold: Larry opened with a beautiful paragraph on Aurelius’ Meditations, highlighting its opening pages as an example of how we can best acknowledge our teachers and mentors. That was the third mention of this book on a single day.

Thanks for the synchronicity, universe. I got the message. I’ve dug out my copy and am reading through it again. I am looking forward to seeing what I learn and am grateful for this seemingly magical nudge.

The Silver Dark Sea

by Susan Fletcher

This lyrical novel is part fairy tale, part myth, and part straightforward narrative. Its plot is simple: a stranger comes to town and heals a deep grief. But it works on multiple levels to uncover the nature of loss and recompense in both their fantastical and realistic guises.

The Nation that Never Was: Reconstructing America’s Story

by Kermit Roosevelt III

What happens if we understand the American Revolutionary War as a civil war pitting colonial elites against their British counterparts and then saw the American Civil War as the true American revolution? Roosevelt, a University of Pennsylvania professor, makes this case and draws out its implications for how we tell the American story. He argues that many of our current social and political problems can be understood as mistaken attempts to return to a pre-Civil War understanding of citizenship and democracy.

We Have Never Been Woke

by Musa al-Gharbi

Sociologist al-Gharbi offers a critique of the current state of “woke” ideology and its centrality to elite self-identity—whether through adoption by those leaning left or through cynical manipulation by those leaning right. He argues that for all of the elite's preoccupation with markers of social justice, little is being done to change the material conditions of the underclass. More damning, the very habits and preferences of elites serve to make those conditions more unpleasant and ubiquitous. This would be a good one to discuss with students.

Bonus!

Meditations

by Marcus Aurelius, tr. by Gregory Hays

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