Dynamite Coaching News 
Oct 2016   
In This Issue
Quote of the Month:

"We have more control over what we do than over what we think or feel. So focus on constructive actions and let thoughts and emotions flow by like the passing weather"

- author unknown


What is Coaching?


 Are you curious about coaching and want to learn more? New appointments now available. Contact Coach Mark for a complimentary, no-obligation coaching session and experience the benefits first hand. Your goals await. Act today.  

Make A Difference

One morning, an old man walked along the beach and every few steps, he stopped to pick up a starfish and toss it back into the sea.
 
A young jogger watched him for a while and eventually asked, "What in the world are you doing?"

"I'm picking up stranded starfish and returning them to the sea, " said the old man. If I don't, they will die."
 
The young man laughed. "That's ridiculous," he said. "There are 30 miles of beach and a million starfish ahead of you. How can you possibly expect to make a difference?"
 
Unfazed, the old man picked up yet another sand-covered starfish and with all the strength he could muster, he sent it back into the coolness of the sea. Then he turned to the young man, smiled and said, "It made a difference for that one, didn't it?"
 
We've all been gifted with the ability to make a difference. And when we become aware of that gift and choose to use it, we have the power to shape the future. We must each find our own starfish and when we do the world will be just a little bit better as a result.
 
How will you choose to make a difference?

What Our Clients Are Saying...

"Mark was an amazing coach, especially when I needed it most.  I was at a crossroads in my professional career which emotionally and physically had taken its toll on me.  I didn't know which direction to go in and what my next steps were going to be.  Through Mark's coaching and compassionate ear, he helped me through a very difficult time in my life and provided me a positive space to create my own happiness.  The journey that we took together as coach and coachee is one that is immeasurable and I am eternally grateful for his energy and time he spent with me.  I look forward to coaching with Mark again in the future."
 
- Christine

 Contact Us:


Have You Got 4 Seconds?

I'm sure you've heard the expression, "Have you got a second?" It's often used when someone wants our attention so they say, "Hey, have you got a second?"

But what does "Have you got 4 seconds" mean? And why is it crucial in avoiding a confrontational conversation. It's crucial because research has discovered that we are 5x more likely to make the right decision when we take time to think about it, even when it's as little as 4 seconds!

Interested? 

Has it ever happened to you where someone says, "hey, have you got a second, there's something on my mind I need to talk to you about," and then they immediately begin to yell and blame you for something the y feel is your fault. This could be your boss, supervisor, co-worker, customer or life partner that just needs a "second" of your time.

Let's call this stage 1: The EVENT

Now when you're under an attack such as this, a part of your brain, hard wired to protect you, goes into full alert against what it perceives as a threat against you, elevating your emotions. And in this primitive, fearful state you're no longer thinking intelligently, you're only reacting, protecting yourself.

This is stage 2: The REACTION

And for many of us our immediate REACTION is to retaliate, to volley a counter attack to protect ourselves, and before we know it we've entered into an unwanted and unproductive confrontational conversation.

Science calls this the Amygdala hijack because it's this protective part of our brain that takes over when it perceives a threat. And at this lower, primitive level of the brain there is no higher level thinking going on just reacting.

But the good news is we have the capacity to change this and 4 seconds is all it takes.

This brings us to stage 3: The OUTCOME

Every day we encounter many EVENTS and, of course, we'll have a REACTION to each of them, and fortunately we have the capacity to change how we REACT to the EVENT to produce more of the OUTCOME we want.

Remember, research has proven that by taking just a few extra seconds to think about our reaction we are 5x more likely to make the right decision therefore getting the outcome we want.

EVENT
> REACTION > OUTCOME
 
Here's how. The Amygdala lives in the lower primitive brain and is first to become alerted when we feel threatened. What's key about the Amygdala is that it is where fear is manifested reducing our capacity to see past the threat. We are in fight or flight mode here. But thankfully the signal doesn't have to stop there. We have the capacity to open a gate and allow the EVENT's signal to move past the Amygdala up the chain to our higher level functioning brain called the Prefrontal Cortex. This is where we have access to high level insight giving us the option to choose multiple different OUTCOMES and various possibilities for how we want to REACT differently to the EVENT.

Let's go back to the original scenario now: Someone says "Hey have you got a second" and begins to unload. Instead of immediately REACTING you pause .......for 4 seconds...... and use the time to breathe and to ask yourself a question.

What is the best way for me to respond to create the OUTCOME that I want to this event?

Science has proven that by taking these short 4 seconds to think, breathe and ask yourself how you want to REACT allows you to re-route the EVENT message to your higher level functioning brain where you can choose a different way to REACT, so you can produce a more positive and favorable OUTCOME.

Don't believe me, try this: Ask someone to repeat the word "Silk" 20 times out loud as fast as they can, and I mean as fast as they can, and then immediately, and I mean immediately, have them answer the question, "what does a cow drink?" Give them no time to think.

Most people when answering immediately without any time to think will reply with Milk. And Milk, of course, is incorrect. Cows don't drink milk. They drink water and then turn it into milk.    
Ask someone else to do the same exercise but slow things down and give them 4 seconds to ponder the question before responding, and they'll more often choose water as their answer.

Remember we are 5x more likely to make the right decision when we take time to think about it, even when it's as little as 4 seconds!

We live in a fast paced, instant access to information, world which, can make us feel like we have to be as fast as a computer and respond immediately. No we don't. We Need To Lead a Different Revolution. We need to Be Pace Setters by Slowing The Pace Down and thinking before REACTING.

Be a Leader. Slow down and watch how quickly things around you improve.

So when someone says, "hey have you got a second" you can reply "Nope, I have 4!"

That will really mess them up ...........................for the better!

Want to learn more practical and relevant tips on how to improve your communication? Attend my next "Communicate for Success" course Saturday November 19th; details below on how to register

CFS
Communicate For Success
 
Upcoming Classes - Edmonton

Date: Saturday, November 19th, 2016
Time: 8:30am to 4:30pm
Location: King's University 9125- 50st Room S101
(location and date subject to change)
 
This class is for EVERYONE who wants to improve how they Deal with Change and Communicate with both themselves and others.
  • Learn the difference between the Inquiry and Advocacy models to support achieving a higher grade in clearer communication
  • Learn how to deal with conflict
  • Learn how to demonstrate and practice leadership skills
  • Learn how to improve listening skills critical to effective communication
  • Learn how to remove frustrated and boxed-in thinking and employ Solution Focused Ideology
  • Learn how to run a meeting with engagement and buy in from your staff
  • Learn how to talk to your spouse, partner, and others without judgement and create a deeper more meaningful conversation
  • Learn how to build leaders and practice leadership
Communication is at the very heart of everything we do and it's being recognized that Coach-Like Approach Communication Techniques are being used more and more to improve the way we speak to each other and to ourselves.
 
The culture in our workplaces is changing and how we communicate needs to change along with it. 75% of the Fortune 1000 companies have already brought in Coach-Like Approach methodology to support their organizations.
 
 What about you? Are you ready for a change?
 
Bonus: If you are Canfitpro certified in any of the following designations (PTS, FIS, NWS, NWL, OAS, and PFS) and in need of re-certification credits this class is sanctioned by Canfitpro to offer your full yearly requirement of 4 CEC's.
 
 
What people are saying about the course:

"I found Mark's coaching class very helpful and inspiring. What he taught me I can implement in my personal life as well as my professional life. I would recommend his class to everyone who needs a little motivation in life as well as those that want to improve in their every day life and become the best person they can be."

~ Darius Kostelnik
Let's Talk About Dynamite Coaching 

    

Who do I work with?

I work with exceptional and brilliant people, like you, who at times might find you're having difficulty in achieving your desired goals either in your professional or personal life, or both. Coaching is not about focusing on the problem or what's broken; Instead it's about focusing on creating the solutions and actionable steps that get you more of what you want. 

Together, we explore and develop elegant pathways that lead to choice and change helping you review aims, set directions, and clarify next steps toward your ultimate direction of excellence. The power is within you.

 

ICF