Be Restored

We all have people in our lives who have wronged us and left us with bitterness or resentment—those who hurt us so deeply we couldn’t imagine ever forgiving them. We feel just and warranted to hold ill feelings. We tell ourselves that maintaining such a stance is their punishment, or our way of righting the wrong. But have you ever stopped to truly consider what living with those feelings does to you?

Years ago, Jeff and I were in West Virginia. As we prepared to turn in for the night, he noticed a dark red spot around his toe. Assuming it was nothing, we headed to bed. By the next morning, that dark red spot had spread and extended across the top of his foot. The last thing anyone wants when they’re out of town is a trip to the Emergency Room, so we made the decision to give it time and see if it went away. By lunchtime it had become painful, intensified and transformed into a deep crimson color that ran all the way up his ankle and to his shin. At that point, we phoned a friend who is a trauma nurse, and she insisted he go to the ER immediately. They diagnosed him with a spider bite, pumped him full of heavy antibiotics, and told him it was good that he came in when he did as it would have continued spreading up his leg and eventually to his heart. Harboring unforgiveness is equally as dangerous, with similar effects.

Most spider bites are harmless and cause minimal redness or swelling around the site, much like many of our interactions with others. We may experience hurt feelings here and there, but, for the most part, they don’t drastically affect our lives. However, if you are bitten by a black widow or brown recluse, you’re likely to develop severe abdominal pain, fever, body aches, and chills. The site will turn dark blue or purple and grow into an open sore, which expands as the skin around it dies. If left untreated, it will continue to fester and spread from the initial site as it oozes fluid and develops an infection that ultimately leads to sepsis. Such an infection in the bloodstream then creates a cascading effect of damage throughout the entire body. What starts out as a surface level impact to the skin, seeps deeper until it is fully embedded into the lifeline of the body. 

Carrying unforgiveness is much the same. What begins as an initial hurt, slowly spreads, digging and burrowing as it moves, eventually infecting the heart, embedding hatred and bitterness throughout the body. The longer we carry it, the greater it festers. We aren’t punishing others by holding on to the pain and anger they caused. Much like the spider, they move on with their lives while we are left dealing with the wound. Would you knowingly choose to leave a venomous spider bite untreated? Would you choose to live day in and day out and allow the necrosis to devour your tissue? Of course not! Just like Jeff did, you would rush to the doctor for treatment to stop the spread of the infection and heal your body because you understand the risk associated with not doing so. Why then would you ignore the infectious venom of unforgiveness?

Most often we are deterred from forgiving because we think doing so will somehow remove or minimize what the person did—but it doesn’t. They aren’t off the hook for their actions, the difference is, they’ll answer to God for them instead of you. Because you are God’s child, He has given you the power to show the same grace and forgiveness to others that He also bestowed on you. His word in Ephesians 4:32 tells us to, “be kind and tenderhearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ.” The Holy Spirit that lives and breathes within enables us to forgive others, not simply because we’re good people, but because we have been forgiven.

Your unforgiveness is that venomous spider bite that God wants to heal. He has a plan for your life, and it is one with an overabundance of joy. He doesn’t want to see you living with anger, resentment, or bitterness toward anyone. He wants to heal and restore you. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” God isn’t surprised by your hurt. He already knew what would incur in your life, He just left how you respond up to you. It’s your choice to turn the pain over to Him, the one who is fully equipped to handle it, or to harbor unforgiveness. If you’ve chosen the later, then consider this your intervention. God is your Emergency Room and He’s ready to deliver His antibiotics of grace and mercy to stop the necrosis that’s been devouring you for way too long. Choose today to no longer leave your wound open and untreated. He is the Great Physician and can heal all wounds, regardless of how infected you’ve allowed them to become. Choose today to no longer give the poison of unforgiveness the ability to ooze, spread, fester and embed itself any deeper. Instead, accept God’s prescription and be restored.