September, 2019
Newsletter from The Marriage Education and Resource Center (MERCY)
If you live in or near Oldham County, you have probably seen the little yard signs that simply say, "Be Kind."

These signs remind me of Shaunti Feldhahn's book called The Kindness Challenge. She reveals three easy steps that have proven to make any interaction better and any relationship thrive. Here's what she recommends:

For 30 days , do the following:

  1. Nix the Negatives: Say nothing negative either to the person you want to build a better relationship with or about them.
  2. Practice Praise: Everyday find something to praise either to the person or about him/her.
  3. Carry Out Kindness: Everyday do a small act of kindness or generosity for this person.

Here are some interesting facts from those who said they were happy in their marriage before and after taking the 30-day Kindness Challenge:

Before After
37% 72%

So are you willing to give it a try? If so, we would love to hear from you.

Grace and peace,

Penny and David

Michael in the Moment Comedy Tour
Sunday, October 13, 2019

Crossroads Church in Cincinnati
3500 Madison Road
Cincinnati, Ohio 45209

To register or for more click here

We hear, "We don't agree on the way we parent our kids and we don't know how to handle our differences." Though that can be pretty complex based on individual circumstances, we hope these short insights
from a couple are helpful!

To view a video on how this couple handles their differences, click here from Grace Marriage.
Can Social Media Impact Your Marriage?

According to attorneys and counselors the use of social media impacts divorce cases now more than ever before.

So how can you keep media use from harming your marriage?

  • Make time for face-to-face conversation. Focusing on your phone, television, Facebook, etc. takes away from truly focusing on each other.
  • Pay attention to how much time you spend playing video games.
  • Ask each other about how media use affects your relationship.
  • Establish media-free zones. Decide together if certain times or places in your home (like the bedroom) are off-limits for media use.

This information was from First Things First.
Upcoming Marriage Events

Dealing with Difficult People - Might even be your Spouse!
Friday, September 27
6:30 - 8:00 p.m.

MERCI Indiana
8510 Highway 111
Memphis, IN 47143
You will learn how best to deal with those who seem to get on your nerves and you will be given tools to help de-escalate any situation.

To register or for more information, click here

Love and Lordship Series for Men
Tuesdays, October 8 - December 23
6:00 p.m.

Lexington Leadership Foundation
422 Codell Drive
Lexington, KY 40509

The Love and Lordship series teaches men how to come into a relationship with Christ and how to build every relationship on that foundation of Him as Lord.

To register, contact Lee Shepherd - or 859-277-3087. To contact Greg Wiliams - or 859-229-6504.
Marriage Built to Last
Thursdays, October 17 - November 21
6:30 - 8:00 p.m.

MERCI Indiana
8510 Highway 111
Memphis, IN 4714
This is not your typical marriage study. Throughout this video series you'll watch 24 real life couples share candidly about their struggles with communication, finances and more. Hosted by Chip Ingram with Dave Ramsey and Kurt Warner.

For more information, or to register click here
Be sure to mark your calendar for a great time at the Love and Laughter Date Night event.
To register or for more information, click here
Building a Lasting Promise Married Couples Retreat
Two Rules for Cultivating Ownership During a Fight -
excerpts from an article by Les and Leslie Parrott
"We've said it time and time again; good fighters own their proverbial piece of the conflict pie. They know that criticism is for cowards. They are also aware that blame and shame never lead to positive outcomes. In any fight, it's important to understand that it's not who is wrong but what is wrong that counts. Here are two rules we think will help.

Rule One - Apologize when you mean it
A genuine apology entails a story of your wrongdoing and regret. Saying, 'I'm sorry' is not enough. Your heart must be in it.

Here are some tips you can use when you say, "I'm sorry." They involve three R's:

  • Responsibility: "I know I hurt your feelings."
  • Regret: "I feel terrible that I hurt you."
  • Remedy: "I won't do it again."

Finally, steer clear of excuses! When you try to explain your mistake, it sounds like self-justification.

Rule Two: Practice Turning Criticism Into Complaints
Do you ever catch yourself making snarky comments in your marriage We've all been guilty. Critical comments are fuel for a fight. Studies show that 96% of the time the way a discussion starts will predict the end.

It's important to remember that criticism and complaints are two very different remarks. Critical comments almost always begin with "you." Complaining on the other hand almost always begins with "I." Here are examples:
  • Criticism: "You're so selfish, do you ever think of my needs?"
  • Complaint: "I feel disappointed when I think you will help me and then you say you are too tired."
It seems like a subtle change, but to the person on the receiving end, the difference between criticism and complaints are like night and day. By owning your feelings, rather than projecting your frustrations, you are inviting a productive conversation and resolution."