Ho’oponopono: Writing to Make Things Right

My husband, Sean, and I have been enjoying a new medical drama called The Pitt on HBO Max. Well, maybe “enjoying” isn’t quite the right word for my viewership—I’m quite squeamish, so I’ve ended up clapping my hands over my eyes during the gorier scenes set in the ER. Despite this discomfort, I’ve hung in there with the series because its gore is outmatched by its heart, with excellent writing and powerful performances from its cast.

Noah Wyle of ER fame plays Dr. Robby, the head of the ER in this show. In an episode I watched earlier this month, his character helps two grieving siblings make peace with the difficult decision to take their dying father off life support. He tells them about a Hawaiian healing ritual called Ho’oponopono, which translates to “to make things right.” He then offers the following loose translation of powerful words one person says to another to promote healing and connection:

I love you.

Thank you.

I forgive you.

Please forgive me.

While in this episode of The Pitt a daughter says these words to her father while he is on his deathbed, I was stuck by their promise to promote healing between people throughout life’s stages. Why wait until a final moment?

Without naming this ritual or using its precise words, I’ve seen many Modern Memoirs clients use their memoirs and family histories to “make things right” through their books. They write to show love, to give thanks, and sometimes even to reconcile with others. What an honor it is for us to help them share of themselves in these ways as writers.

Perhaps reflecting on the Ho’oponopono ritual will inspire you on your own writing/righting path. How could each statement serve as a writing prompt to help you write about the important relationships in your life, whether they are presently healthy or strained? Whom would you most like to say these words to, and why? And what is preventing you from doing so?

Give it a try! And then reach out if you’d like to one day put your words into a book to share with your loved ones.

With thanks,

Megan St. Marie

President

Bon Voyage, Ali!

Please join us in wishing Director of Publishing Ali de Groot well as she departs for her sabbatical, which she was awarded in recognition of the 20th anniversary of her employment with Modern Memoirs, Inc.

Ali will return to the office on April 1. While she is away, please direct all inquiries to Megan St. Marie, as Ali will not be checking emails so that she can focus on her own writing projects.

Writing (Advance) Obituaries:

An Online Workshop

Join Modern Memoirs President Megan St. Marie for an online workshop on writing and revising (advance) obituaries, which she describes as “memoirs or biographies in miniature.” A clear, thoughtful, and inclusive obituary is an art and a blessing.

(minimum 6 participants to run program, no refunds issued after May 8, 2025)

DATE: Thursday May 22, 2025

TIME: 7–8:30 p.m. EST

COST: $150

Cliff McCarthy: An Inspirational Family Historian

by Genealogist Liz Sonnenberg

In honor of Black History Month, I am pleased to highlight the contributions of historian Cliff McCarthy, a former archivist at Springfield Museums in Springfield, Massachusetts. McCarthy monitors “Freedom Stories of the Pioneer Valley,” a website dedicated to telling the stories of African Americans in Western Massachusetts who, before the abolition of slavery, “took action, whether successful or unsuccessful, to secure their freedom or the freedom of others.”

Through his work with the Pioneer Valley History Network, McCarthy has also been a major participant in “Documenting the Early History of Black Lives in the Connecticut River Valley,” a community-based research project in Hampden, Hampshire, and Franklin counties that documents the lives of free, enslaved, and formerly enslaved Black residents prior to 1900.

This month, McCarthy fascinated local audiences with a presentation detailing his own genealogical research journey that led to the revelation of a long-kept secret: his family’s mixed-race heritage. While growing up, McCarthy and his family identified as white and were unaware of their African American roots on his father’s side. I was fortunate to attend a session in which he shared the story of his paternal grandfather’s “passing” over the color line, his accomplished family members, and what he has learned about his enslaved ancestors in Georgia and their enslavers. Recounting 50 years of diligent research, McCarthy shared what he describes as “its moments of discovery, heartache, joy, and dumb luck.” His presentation not only illuminated key aspects of African American history, but struck me with its great potential to inspire other family historians.

Featured Blog Posts by Our Staff

When in Rome, Find Time to Write!

by Publishing Intern Lily Fitzgerald

During my winter break from classes at UMass-Amherst, I had the amazing opportunity to go to Italy with a program led by my business school. For two weeks, thirty other students and I would travel to five cities to learn about international business and how different industries adapt to cultural challenges and globalization. I thought the trip would be both an educational experience and a vacation from my usual work, but my creative writing professor had other ideas...

Read the full post here

Wearing Out Pickups by Grant Craven (2016) Cover stamp art by Rebecca Thon

A Title That Never Wears Out

by Director of Publishing Ali de Groot

It’s one of my favorite titles, Wearing Out Pickups, and the opening lines of the book explain the meaning behind the title:

If you are a farmer who has work scattered around a large area, your pickup is many things. It is a mobile office, something that holds tools, supplies and the important shovel and jumper cables. It will tow trailers and move equipment, people, kids and dogs. It will make many emergency trips to town to get parts and supplies for all of the farm equipment you try to keep running. And your pickup will get pretty dirty—and it will wear out. I have worn out more than twenty I guess... and I have probably spent more time with a pickup than with any other thing or person.

When we were considering the cover design, we urged the author to invest the extra for a hardcover book, which lasts so much longer than a softcover. We took into account the title and the frontispiece photograph the author provided, shown below. It is an oil painting of a 1953 Ford pickup. From this photo came the creation of a cleanly sketched version of a Ford pickup, stamped beautifully in gold foil on the brown leather front cover.

1953 Ford pickup, oil painting by Paul Abrams

Memory Lane Stroll

We’d love to hear your brief personal reflections on the question of the month. Write your response for a chance to be featured in the next edition of our e-newsletter!

February Question: Inspired by our featured client book above, what symbol or object would you put on the cover of your memoir?

Write Your Response Here

Staff responses:

Megan St. Marie: An opened book.

Sean St. Marie: An oak tree.

Ali de Groot: Feet.

Liz Sonnenberg: A magnifying glass.

Nicole Miller: A white tulip.

Lily Fitzgerald: A nutcracker figurine.